Venting Dating should be more equal

[AnxiousLife]

I don't like how it is expected from man to approach, lead conversations and be initiative, which can be soo difficult and result in not dating at all, even though otherwise the same man could have had a lot of chances to get to know someone and find a relationship. Even when evaluated by tens of studies, meta analyses, satisfaction and safety questionaires, woman have it overall better than man in the west in dating as well as in quality of life, empiricaly based (AI summary).

I feel lonely and I don't understand why it is this way. Some things in society change in favour of woman, so they can have it equal, but why isn't dating taken into account and the fact that man have it much more difficult to get to know someone, especially when socialy anxious? Romantic relationships are averagely one of the things humans want most. To feel loved, cared for, being there for each other. So don't say something like "find a hobby" or "find some friends instead and you will feel better" or "you can't base your happiness on relationships", some people want to have a relationship and that's it, you cannot dismiss it. I feel frustrated by this and I don't know if there is anything I can do about it. I would like to feel loved, but it's difficult to get to know someone when society works this way

 

[ummwhaaat]

Idk bro. I went on tinder and got like 200 matches just swiping right on the trial and like 10 girls dming me. went on 1 tinder date and idk it just wasn't it for me.

For me going out to bars even solo worked better. good luck man

 

[Helio_Helio]

I think it's okay if you don't approach, and honestly, I imagine a person who expects you to approach wouldn't be someone you'd like to be with anyway...

If you're a shy person, you can just be shy. Someone who can't accept even that probably isn't worth the time.

I'm AFAB, though I consider myself agender, I do appear and act stereotypically feminine. Pretty much every guy I dated was shy... I think 1/5 was the first to ask me out, and I do get approached but I don't care about them approaching, I rejected them just because of their behaviours/personality/etc,.

Most girls I know, though they aren't usually 100% straight women (so my data might be biased), they don't care if a guy approaches or not. They do in fact HATE men who gets too handsy. Honestly most of them look for someone who can make a good conversation as a friend first.

Though if you want something about speed... but you should preferably want a quality relationship... and if so it will likely never come quick

 

[Forveleth]

As a female, I never understood this shit. If I see a cute guy, u do not sit around and wait for him to initiate things. I genuinely do not understand why gender roles still exist.

 

[Sadbanana]

I relate. I'm a tiny bit autistic and it's impossible for me to find a girlfriend with these gender roles. I'll probably just kill myself, it's less painful than trying to date.

 

[cvury]

don't talk blackpill or the mods will get mad at you.

go to .is it's way better for this kind of talk. same guy who made this site made that one. the average person here (not saying all) here are less empathetic towards the struggle of men and men in dating. mfw looks are everything jfl

I relate. I'm a tiny bit autistic and it's impossible for me to find a girlfriend with these gender roles. I'll probably just kill myself, it's less painful than trying to date.

there is more to life than love, romantic relationships usually bring more harm and pain than good in my experience.