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CTB’ing tonight
Thread startergoodoldnoname923
Start date
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I just had a practice run of my method and it definitely feel's possible I can't be sure if I succeed but if i do i'll be at rest finally. Please wish me luck all and i hope this is the last you hear of me…and thanks to all who have helped and supported me
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grahf, arthurkuzechov, QueerMelancholy and 21 others
I apologize life wasn't kind enough to avoid this. I wish everyone could live a healthy, happy life, and we weren't forced into CTB. I wish you peace in whatever decision you make.
Unfortunately i did not go through with it…i fell asleep and I'm not sure if i'm able to now i feel so cowardly
I have my reasons…my best friend leaving the guilt of what i did to them and many others,my unhappiness in life and everything i've missed out on,my lack of purpose in life or a real future,my inability to find enjoyment in life,the person i've become the horrible things i do and my seeming inability to fix them…the people i've lost and opportunities i never had or missed out on…completely under qualified for my intellect as i was held back a ton in education making it difficult to get any kind of job…i could keep going
But then this other situation came up..a girl i had not spoken to in years we ended up talking again and she confessed her love for me and told me about her tragic backstory and i'm basically the only hope she has left and i feel terrible…can i really leave her behind…she makes me feel special and valued but I can't let go of her…my best friend…i don't feel i can fully let myself love them either because i still cling onto them and can't let go
But if i kill myself i only break them anyways but i really don't want to live anyway so what do i do…i feel powerless cowardly and in pain…irredeemable and unhappy
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DavidInternet, iloverachel, Agon321 and 5 others
Another failed attempt unfortunately but i feel i've learned somewhat from it may have a better idea of what to do next time i guess just the fear of going through with it is what is preventing me some what.
As i said in another tread i feel having some sort of comfort or closure would definitely help but it's not easy to find that
I'd rather not divulge that information. Although apon more research today i feel i've made some progress into succeeding with my method but also not.
It's far from the only method I've considered i've got my fingers in many pies sorta speak but the method i have currently i have some level of confidence in
I guess the one thing i need is someone by me when i go i guess it would offer me some comfort and closure
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