I have an extremely loving and caring family however I am extremely lonely with no real friends + autoimmune condition. I am scared to die for what is on the other side, but what if I trade this painful life for an extremely painful life on the other side? I'm not sure I want to CTB, but this anhedonia is crippling, and there just seems to be no point to this.
If you aren't sure, wait until you are. It's a big decision. Maybe some therapy in the meantime?
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