Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
Granted: but the cats will be very old by that point and have to be kept alive with breathing tubes and IVs

I wish I could always have freshly baked chocolate chip cookies when I am craving them
 
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Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,628
Granted: but the cats will be very old by that point and have to be kept alive with breathing tubes and IVs

I wish I could always have freshly baked chocolate chip cookies when I am craving them
Granted but these cookies are as addictive as heroin. And with each cookie you eat, you gain 5 pounds.

I wish for world peace.
 
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s3gfault

s3gfault

No Brain No Pain
Jun 29, 2020
114
Granted but these cookies are as addictive as heroin. And with each cookie you eat, you gain 5 pounds.

I wish for world peace.

Granted but the world's food supply is reduced to zero and everyone starves to death while holding hands.

I wish N was easy to obtain
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish N was easy to obtain

Granted! Pharmaceutical-grade N is free in every bank and pharmacy, but everyone's starved to death in your previous scenario.

I wish the current world situation were a sci-fi fantasy so I can change the channel.
 
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s3gfault

s3gfault

No Brain No Pain
Jun 29, 2020
114
Granted! Pharmaceutical-grade N is free in every bank and pharmacy, but everyone's starved to death in your previous scenario.

I wish the current world situation were a sci-fi fantasy so I can change the channel.

Granted but you only get basic cable from the 70s.

I wish this wish could not be corrupted.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish this wish could not be corrupted.

Granted! But just that one.

I wish the night sky everywhere looked like it does in Tibet.
 
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agentgeez

agentgeez

Student
Jun 30, 2020
107
Granted! But just that one.

I wish the night sky everywhere looked like it does in Tibet.
Granted, but countless factories are also built in Tibet, creating mass air pollution. Not only can the entire world not see the stars, but the environment is in critical danger.

I wish I had the ability to do spot-on impressions of any voice.
 
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Philosykos

Philosykos

Student
May 30, 2020
196
Granted, but every time you do an impression, the person in question's voice is taken from them forever.

I wish I was a child again.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish I was a child again.

Granted! Back to the womb with you to do your whole life again. Do not pass go; do not collect $200; enjoy it!

I wish I could have a sky burial.
 
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agentgeez

agentgeez

Student
Jun 30, 2020
107
Granted! Back to the womb with you to do your whole life again. Do not pass go; do not collect $200; enjoy it!

I wish I could have a sky burial.
Granted, but you have to do it now, while you're alive. Enjoy being bird food.

I wish I had infinite stamina.
 
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FriendofDeath

FriendofDeath

Elementalist
May 22, 2020
833
Granted, but no one can keep up with you, so you're often frustrated and bored. Hey, but you'd make the perfect superhero!

I wish I was a guardian angel.
 
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SoIntoYou

SoIntoYou

Pillowman
Jul 9, 2020
215
Granted, but no one can keep up with you, so you're often frustrated and bored. Hey, but you'd make the perfect superhero!

I wish I was a guardian angel.
Granted, but you're guarding Earth and your name is Lucifer

I wish I could control lucid dreaming.
 
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Philosykos

Philosykos

Student
May 30, 2020
196
Granted but you lose the ability to differentiate between reality and dream.

I wish I had a device that gave me the truthful answer to every question I ask.
 
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Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,628
Granted but you lose the ability to differentiate between reality and dream.

I wish I had a device that gave me the truthful answer to every question I ask.
Granted but this device will malfunction occasionally without you knowing and instead of telling you the truth, it will tell you a lie.
I wish for covid 19 to go away
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish for covid 19 to go away

Granted! Say hello to its offspring: covid 20!

I wish @FriendofDeath were my private guardian angel instead of the whole world's.
 
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Philosykos

Philosykos

Student
May 30, 2020
196
Granted! Say hello to its offspring: covid 20!

I wish @FriendofDeath were my private guardian angel instead of the whole world's.
Can I just say that I find you to be a treasure? And with a wicked sense of humour to boot.

Anyhow, your wish is granted, but they grow so fond of you that they become overprotective and prevent you from doing even fun things out of fear something will happen to you.

I wish I could wield magic.
 
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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
Granted but you can only use it for 2 minutes a day because you have to spend the rest of the time recharging.

I wish I could ctb without hurting anyone
 
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agentgeez

agentgeez

Student
Jun 30, 2020
107
Granted; ctb is interpreted to mean "change the batteries", and you can now recharge your remotes and other devices completely risk-free.

I wish I could do really cool flips and parkour.
 
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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
Haha that one made me laugh

Anyway, granted, but your feet have become lead so you can't get off the ground.

I wish I could go to a pink sand beach
 
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Philosykos

Philosykos

Student
May 30, 2020
196
Granted; ctb is interpreted to mean "change the batteries", and you can now recharge your remotes and other devices completely risk-free.
Oh, how very djinn of you! :pfff: (We need a laughing emote reaction for posts! Mods? Purrdy please?)

Your wish is granted, but in the process you forget how to walk normally so you now have to parkour everywhere.

A silly one: I wish the nutritional values of chocolate and cucumbers were reversed!

EDIT: Beat me to it, @Thinking!


I wish I could go to a pink sand beach
You can, but your wish is granted by making you colour blind to any colour besides pink.

My wish: see above.
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
Oh, how very djinn of you! :pfff: (We need a laughing emote reaction for posts! Mods? Purrdy please?)

Your wish is granted, but in the process you forget how to walk normally so you now have to parkour everywhere.

A silly one: I wish the nutritional values of chocolate and cucumbers were reversed!

EDIT: Beat me to it, @Thinking!



You can, but your wish is granted by making you colour blind to any colour besides pink.

My wish: see above.

Granted, but the chocolate will taste like cucumber and the cucumber will taste like chocolate.

I wish I can be a successful bank robber.
 
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SoIntoYou

SoIntoYou

Pillowman
Jul 9, 2020
215
Granted, but you choose to draw as much attention and as much violence to yourself before you actually take the money.

I wish this pain in my stomach would go away.
 
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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
Granted, but now every other part of your body is hurting constantly. I wish I could never have flashbacks again.
 
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agentgeez

agentgeez

Student
Jun 30, 2020
107
Granted; this is achieved by taking your memory away completely. No flashbacks if you can't remember anything from two seconds ago!

I wish I had the persuasion skills of a con-artist.
 
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Philosykos

Philosykos

Student
May 30, 2020
196
You do now, but you lose a grasp on reality, convinced yourself that the grand tales you tell your victims are the truth.

I wish I would find my soulmate and get to spend eternity with them.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish I would find my soulmate and get to spend eternity with them.

Granted, my dear. Seek and you shall find, and then time will be your vehicle. Drive safely! x

I wish I knew what we'll encounter after death, and could influence it somehow.
 
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s3gfault

s3gfault

No Brain No Pain
Jun 29, 2020
114
Granted, my dear. Seek and you shall find, and then time will be your vehicle. Drive safely! x

I wish I knew what we'll encounter after death, and could influence it somehow.

Granted, but you are now immortal.

I wish people thought I have a great personality and had no problem making both male and female friends.
 
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lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
granted, but the people you meet are a bad influence.

I wish for the price of beer to go down.
 
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s3gfault

s3gfault

No Brain No Pain
Jun 29, 2020
114
granted, but the people you meet are a bad influence.

I wish for the price of beer to go down.

Granted, but the ABV goes down proportionally.

I wish I was God.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish I was God

Granted! Everyone (except maybe a few hardass atheists) loves your great personality, and you can make both male and female friends easily even when you do kooky shit like yelling at people from mountaintops and showing Moses your bottom. But now you're immortal, until you decide you're not.

I wish my so-called caretakers were more pleasant and better suited to taking care of me. I wish they at least liked me.
 
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