Games Corrupt-A-Wish.

[Symbiote]

Granted. The person that hugs you also wets themselves on you.

I wish the hurricane would go away.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but it will come back worse next year.

I wish my freezer was clean.

 

[Ghost2211]

Granted, but now it's so clean and icy stuff just slips out.

I wish I had more yummy snacks.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but they are so unhealthy that eating just a few could give someone a heart attack.

I wish covid had never happened.

 

[Soul]

I wish covid had never happened.

Granted! For most victims it's very nice that all their symptoms evaporate, but they have to explain why they missed so much work. For the people that died of it it's not so great, especially if "post-mortem preparations" such as cremation or burial or embalming have killed them. Those who have donated non-essential organs may wake up to some strange surprises. You can write a masterpiece of investigative journalism about it and win a Pulitzer. Oh and Biden wins easily anyway.

I wish my so-called boyfriend were less crabby.

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted! For most victims it's very nice that all their symptoms evaporate, but they have to explain why they missed so much work. For the people that died of it it's not so great, especially if "post-mortem preparations" such as cremation or burial or embalming have killed them. Those who have donated non-essential organs may wake up to some strange surprises. You can write a masterpiece of investigative journalism about it and win a Pulitzer. Oh and Biden wins easily anyway.

I wish my so-called boyfriend were less crabby.

Granted, but you have to feed some crabs to thank for it.

I wish to ride an elephant.

 

[Ghost2211]

Granted, but creepy and mildly sexy clowns ride with you.

I wish the weather was always the perfect temperature

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but it is always raining fish.

I wish I had perfect skin

 

[Soul]

I wish the weather was always the perfect temperature

Granted! You now come equipped with a chip that keeps you informed as to what species the current weather is perfect for. If you shout HOWDY into the chip it changes you into the relevant species.

I wish I'd typed that in time to be @RoseyBird's answer.

 

[Deleted member 23586]

Granted, but it is always raining fish.

I wish I had perfect skin

Granted: you now have the most perfect skin, you just can't wear it. ;)

I wish I could sleep

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted! You now come equipped with a chip that keeps you informed as to what species the current weather is perfect for. If you shout HOWDY into the chip it changes you into the relevant species.

I wish I'd typed that in time to be @RoseyBird's answer.

Granted, but it still rains fish as well

Granted: you now have the most perfect skin, you just can't wear it. ;)

I wish I could sleep

Granted, but you see a snake biting its tail in your dream.

I wish I had put my songs on youtube

 

[Ghost2211]

Granted: you now have the most perfect skin, you just can't wear it. ;)

I wish I could sleep

Granted, but you sleep forever.

I wish children had better coping skills and didn't tantrum

Edit to add. Damn we are bad at the flow today lol

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but you sleep forever.

I wish children had better coping skills and didn't tantrum

Granted, but now you have 7 of them!

I wish I had a tame python.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Granted but it's so large you can't afford to feed it.

I wish we were like Star Trek where people worked to better themselves not for possions or profit.

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but your TV stays on and emits nothing but old, really scary episodes of the Twilight Zone!

I wish I didn't feel like weeping.

There is a powercut! It happens maybe once or twice a year here.

Granted but it's so large you can't afford to feed it.

I wish we were like Star Trek where people worked to better themselves not for possions or profit.

Haha, I'll feed it don't worry. Feeed meee it says.

Granted, but there is no food ever.

I wish for a miracle.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but you have to become an extremely devout member of the religion of whichever god granted your miracle. It could be something super strict like Mormonism or whatever.

I wish I had a perfect girlfriend.

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but you will have 9 kids.

Wish his nose would grow longer every time he lied.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Granted but it only grows 0.1mm each time so it's barely noticeable

I wish that I could sing

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but you can only sing in Chinese

I wish I was allowed to sing without getting the door banged in my face

 

[Deleted member 14573]

Granted, but all the doors in your house are removed. (And the asshole slamming doors is also removed)

I wish I could talk to animals.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Granted but first you must become that animal to talk to.

I wish I could close my eyes and imagine a place and time and transport there.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

Granted, but transporting puts such a strain on your body that you are rushed to the hospital every time you do.

I wish I could speak every language.

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but people gaslight you in every language

I wish I had an off button

 

[Jumper Geo]

Granted: but everytime you switch it off, your transported to Hell.

I wish I could breathe and swim under water.

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but water burns you like acid

I wish the Abomination's cats claw his eyes out

 

[Ghost2211]

Granted, but his eye holes bleed forever and you must clean the mess.

I wish abusers were actually punished for what they do.

 

[woxihuanni]

That's alright, I always clean his mess.

Granted, and they also grow a tail so everybody knows what they are and laugh at them.

Wish I had some nice food

 

[botanormal]

Granted, but you only get to have one mouthful of it.

I wish I didn't have anxiety.

 

[woxihuanni]

Granted, but you have a third nipple.

Wish I'd have some more food, very hungry

 

[Ghost2211]

granted, but it turns immediately into butt fat

I wish I had the option to be stoned every day