Confused

[•_still_here_•]

I want to live, move to another country, have a normal college life, go out and party with friends and drink until I'm senseless, have my own apartment, get my first pay cheque, go on solo trips and so much more. I want to do so much but I don't want to be alive anymore, and I don't even know why. I'm just tired of life. I want to overdose of paracetamols, but I still haven't 'cause I'm just confused. I want to live but also I'm tired and just feel out of it half the time. I don't even know why I still choose to keep living and wake up every morning. I guess, I'm scared of it. It's going to be painful to kill myself. But then again, my had keeps reminding me that I should just die.

 

[R. A.]

You cannot overdose on paracetamol. It's nearly impossible to OD on anything OTC, even most Rx

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

You have goals, that's why you wake up. Why not achieve them before dying?

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[getoutgirl]

I get that struggle, that double want of both living and dying, with the fear and uncertainty that come with the two. Is not a great existence to be stuck in that limbo. It's suicidal depression, and yeah it can kill you or leave you like a zombie if unnatended.
I hope you are getting the support and professional help required to deal with this, because if not it really is an awful experience to go through daily. I feel you there. So I hope you are getting that, and that it gets better and easier for you to decide to pursue what you actually want to do in life, without as much pushback from the cruel mind. Big hugs to you <3