Hello. This is my first post.
I am suffering from a highly unusual, currently unnamed medical condition (physical) that, without giving too much away, totally consumes between 2 and 4 hours of my life every day, and depending on if I have a "good" or "bad" day can ruin or at least seriously worsen an entire day. I have been suffering with this condition for almost 10 years now, and, particularly in the last 3 or 4 years, it has completely prevented me from living a normal life. It dominates everything. I can't plan anything without first taking it, and the several hours actively managing it takes every day, into account. My close family are only partly aware of the details, and very few of my friends know anything. I am genuinely amazed I have managed to maintain, at least outwardly, a relitively normal seaming life, though I do have to plan around my condition, so doing anything without at least 24 hours notice is difficult, and have managed to have relatively normal working life up until now.
Trouble is, I'm never going to get any better, I'm only going to worse, it already is. I realised about a year ago that I had somewhere between 1 and 3 years of "viable" life left before it simply becomes all consuming. I intend to live every day that I can before it simply becomes unbearable, before every day is a "bad" day. Then I'm going to die by my own hand. I have begun calling this day "Oblivion Day" (don't know why it just sounds dramatic).
As this as yet unspecified day draws closer, I have begun taking much greater risks, incuding using recreational drugs (cannabis helps with "bad" days, cocaine is nice on good days) but I am by no means any kind of addict, and spending much more heavily on vacations, etc. I no longer care if I am in debt, etc. Can't re-possess the assets of a corpse.
Firearms would be my prefered choice due to the reletive ease of use and high probabilty of success, but I live in Europe in a country in which guns are very rare (most police officers don't have guns here), and hard to get. Any suggestions of a high chance of success method would be very much appreciated, though due to my condition I would prefer it not to involve swallowing something, as this could turn a "good" day, my last "good" day, into a bad day, and I don't want to die feeling ill.
Thank you if you took the time to read this. This is genuinely the first time I have shared any information about my conditon with anyone but my Parents and a doctor.
I am suffering from a highly unusual, currently unnamed medical condition (physical) that, without giving too much away, totally consumes between 2 and 4 hours of my life every day, and depending on if I have a "good" or "bad" day can ruin or at least seriously worsen an entire day. I have been suffering with this condition for almost 10 years now, and, particularly in the last 3 or 4 years, it has completely prevented me from living a normal life. It dominates everything. I can't plan anything without first taking it, and the several hours actively managing it takes every day, into account. My close family are only partly aware of the details, and very few of my friends know anything. I am genuinely amazed I have managed to maintain, at least outwardly, a relitively normal seaming life, though I do have to plan around my condition, so doing anything without at least 24 hours notice is difficult, and have managed to have relatively normal working life up until now.
Trouble is, I'm never going to get any better, I'm only going to worse, it already is. I realised about a year ago that I had somewhere between 1 and 3 years of "viable" life left before it simply becomes all consuming. I intend to live every day that I can before it simply becomes unbearable, before every day is a "bad" day. Then I'm going to die by my own hand. I have begun calling this day "Oblivion Day" (don't know why it just sounds dramatic).
As this as yet unspecified day draws closer, I have begun taking much greater risks, incuding using recreational drugs (cannabis helps with "bad" days, cocaine is nice on good days) but I am by no means any kind of addict, and spending much more heavily on vacations, etc. I no longer care if I am in debt, etc. Can't re-possess the assets of a corpse.
Firearms would be my prefered choice due to the reletive ease of use and high probabilty of success, but I live in Europe in a country in which guns are very rare (most police officers don't have guns here), and hard to get. Any suggestions of a high chance of success method would be very much appreciated, though due to my condition I would prefer it not to involve swallowing something, as this could turn a "good" day, my last "good" day, into a bad day, and I don't want to die feeling ill.
Thank you if you took the time to read this. This is genuinely the first time I have shared any information about my conditon with anyone but my Parents and a doctor.
