catching the bus tonight

[dreamingofsh]

So, the time has come. I've finally been able to get my hands on xanax which will hopefully suppress my SI enough to finally CTB. I just want out of this shitty world, but of course the subconscious is doing everything in its power to try to save my body. I'm done fighting, I don't know what there will be after death, but I welcome it with open arms. An hour before I ctb I will take the xanax and enjoy my last few minutes on earth in peace. Then I will CTB by partial. If I miss the bus, I'll try to get my hands on SN. Much easier method than partial it seems. Thanks to everyone on this forum who has talked to me, or even acknowledged my existence here. I may not have been a member for long but this is the one place I am truly accepted.

 

[MidnightDream]

Sending you love, and I'm sorry that life has brought you to this. No matter what happens, we're here for you

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

So, the time has come. I've finally been able to get my hands on xanax which will hopefully suppress my SI enough to finally CTB. I just want out of this shitty world, but of course the subconscious is doing everything in its power to try to save my body. I'm done fighting, I don't know what there will be after death, but I welcome it with open arms. An hour before I ctb I will take the xanax and enjoy my last few minutes on earth in peace. Then I will CTB by partial. If I miss the bus, I'll try to get my hands on SN. Much easier method than partial it seems. Thanks to everyone on this forum who has talked to me, or even acknowledged my existence here. I may not have been a member for long but this is the one place I am truly accepted.

Goodbye, I may not have known you or even seen you on this forum before today, but I wish you peace and tranquility. If you change your mind that's okay too (for clarification, not telling OP to change their mind, but some people here feel bad when they change their mind or feel like they've failed in some way).

 

[leavingsoon99]

Goodbye. I wish you a beautiful, eternal dream. Good luck, in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Torch]

Sending hugs, I wish you the best, will see you on the other side.

 

[poisonousspit]

i wish you the best with your plans and hope you can finally find peace. ♡

 

[Gonnerr]

I wish you a peaceful escape.

 

[MildlyBetter]

Good luck, I hope you find peace.

 

[Dead Meat]

Wishing you a comfortable journey and may you have everlasting peace and tranquility you Beautiful Soul

 

[dimstar]

I dont know your situation but I'm very sorry. This society is pushing people like they shouldn't be. Why cant people and the world be kind. We dont deserve to kept here or pushed there. I just hope all goes well for you and you find peace. I'll be thinking of you. Your not alone.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry you have reached this time in your life. I hope your exit is painless and your rest peaceful.

 

[just_so_done]

I'm sorry for your struggles and I hope you find the peace you're looking for

 

[MidnightDream]

Please ignore the above, guys. He's commenting shit like this everywhere. Mods have been tagged and comments have been reported

 

[Jorckus]

Please ignore the above, guys. He's commenting shit like this everywhere. Mods have been tagged and comments have been reported

ah yes let's ignore the only guy who is saying to not kill yourself. You're pathetic and would never kill yourself you just get a kick outta people doing it

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

Wishing you a peaceful & successful journey to whatever comes next!

 

[dimstar]

Join the suicide prevention line if you actually care @Jorckus. Being here making people on the edge feel worse is clear proof. You only care about yourself, you wouldn't help people just bully and belittle them. Glad he's banned, hes only put out negative carma major toxic person. Easy reminder people are infiltrating the community. Be careful.

 

[Caoine01]

It was nice talking to you, but now I wish you a good and smooth journey.
I'm happy for you that you got it right on the third try with the Xanax.
I hope it will help you find a peaceful transition.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes for finding the rest and relief you seek. I so hope you just slip quietly into sleep, go knowing you are being thought of kindly.

 

[dreamingofsh]

it is with great sadness I can announce I am still alive. I got so close 2 times - first time I slipped into a state of semi-unconciousness and my entire body felt sort of numb, but I was in a lot of discomfort. I was really confused and started making some strange coughing sounds and squirming around before I realized the situation and impulse took control and I untightened the knot. a few minutes later I tried again and the same thing happened - disoriented with barely any feeling in my body. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but I think it has something to do with my position and my hands holding back some weight on my arteries. please don't think I'm trying to throw a pity party for myself - I want out of this world bad. I've learned my lesson, and next time will be my final attempt. I'll take 6mg of Xanax instead of 4, even though 4 was enough to suppress my SI I don't want to take the risk. I'll post an update in this thread because I don't want to seem like I just want attention. thank you for all the thoughts and nice words. I am so ashamed that I can't commit to anything. I'll prepare as much as I can for my final attempt and will post updates in this thread if you are interested

 

[HerculePoirot]

Perhaps switch to full suspension, if it's materially possible in your situation? Survival instinct would be defeated.

 

[Aisley]

it is with great sadness I can announce I am still alive. I got so close 2 times - first time I slipped into a state of semi-unconciousness and my entire body felt sort of numb, but I was in a lot of discomfort. I was really confused and started making some strange coughing sounds and squirming around before I realized the situation and impulse took control and I untightened the knot. a few minutes later I tried again and the same thing happened - disoriented with barely any feeling in my body. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but I think it has something to do with my position and my hands holding back some weight on my arteries. please don't think I'm trying to throw a pity party for myself - I want out of this world bad. I've learned my lesson, and next time will be my final attempt. I'll take 6mg of Xanax instead of 4, even though 4 was enough to suppress my SI I don't want to take the risk. I'll post an update in this thread because I don't want to seem like I just want attention. thank you for all the thoughts and nice words. I am so ashamed that I can't commit to anything. I'll prepare as much as I can for my final attempt and will post updates in this thread if you are interested

Nobody thinks that of you. That dorckus was a troll, and they're not very common here. Just an odd couple of days.
The brain shuts down to reserve oxygen, and reboots some time later. Hanging isn't easy. Everyone here knows that. Don't give yourself too much shit for this, it's real tough. I'm sorry you don't have some lovely option available.

 

[Letgo]

I hope you are getting some rest and that you will feel better.

 

[laas]

it is with great sadness I can announce I am still alive. I got so close 2 times - first time I slipped into a state of semi-unconciousness and my entire body felt sort of numb, but I was in a lot of discomfort. I was really confused and started making some strange coughing sounds and squirming around before I realized the situation and impulse took control and I untightened the knot. a few minutes later I tried again and the same thing happened - disoriented with barely any feeling in my body. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but I think it has something to do with my position and my hands holding back some weight on my arteries. please don't think I'm trying to throw a pity party for myself - I want out of this world bad. I've learned my lesson, and next time will be my final attempt. I'll take 6mg of Xanax instead of 4, even though 4 was enough to suppress my SI I don't want to take the risk. I'll post an update in this thread because I don't want to seem like I just want attention. thank you for all the thoughts and nice words. I am so ashamed that I can't commit to anything. I'll prepare as much as I can for my final attempt and will post updates in this thread if you are interested

Hope for you that the next attempt brings you peace. Maybe we see each other up there soon.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

I wish you peace.

 

[riddlerenjoyer]

Hanging is a very difficult method don't beat yourself up for failing hope you feel better after some rest!!

 

[FuneralCry]

Failing ctb sounds so horrific to me, I certainly hate how difficult it is to finally be free from this hellish world. I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I understand why you would feel so sad to still be trapped here.

 

[Shivali]

 

[wiltingorchid]

I wish you a safe, peaceful travel.

 

[Valky]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Ctb really is not easy.

I am glad you are okay tho <3

 

[Leagueofgentlemen]

Godspeed.

Why do people say ctb on here anyway?