Can you see yourself getting older ?

[Bentley Goldman]

I can't.​

​

Every single day I think about it and I know my time is running out. ​

​

I know I will be dead before 30.​

 

[waived]

At a certain point the years start skipping by in 2's and 4's. Previously I would have answered no to the question but now I have to answer yes.

 

[HanginAround]

Nope. That's way more years than I want

 

[Logic]

I can't.

Every single day I think about it and I know my time is running out.

I know I will be dead before 30.​

I could choose to live to an old age, I just don't want to, so I am choosing not to. (Technicaly I don't believe in free will but I fully believe in the illusion of choice/growth mindset) I won't be around much longer and choosing death is not regretable or a bad thing to me. I have done enough, I have been financially well of, made it a field I enjoyed, respected, helped and hurt many people, have had many friends and been a looner, down cool things like engaged to a prodigy for a few years(Okay this may be an exaggeration but she skipped 3 grades although she did all her work online and cheated on almost everything), sky diving over beautiful places, climbing twenty thousand mountains, backpacking through Europe, three some etc.

 

[Bentley Goldman]

I could choose to live to an old age, I just don't want to, so I am choosing not to. (Technicaly I don't believe in free will but I fully believe in the illusion of choice/growth mindset) I won't be around much longer and choosing death is not regretable or a bad thing to me. I have done enough, I have been financially well of, made it a field I enjoyed, respected, helped and hurt many people, have had many friends and been a looner, down cool things like engaged to a prodigy for a few years(Okay this may be an exaggeration but she skipped 3 grades although she did all her work online and cheated on almost everything), sky diving over beautiful places, climbing twenty thousand mountains, backpacking through Europe, three some etc.

yeah I'm surprised I've made it this far lol

 

[leaps]

Not like this. I feel rejected, cursed, and defeated and I can't stand to live another day of it.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

When I was a teen I never really wanted to live past 25, but i'm 34 now and up until the last couple years life's been pretty ok. But now i'm sick and everyday is a struggle. It's time to go.

 

[Final Escape]

Not much older. Can't afford it lol!

 

[WhyWasIBorn]

I can only see myself getting older because all of these methods for ending it are either too hard, expensive, or painful... if not I would be gone by now. Such a fucking shame

 

[Logic]

Not much older. Can't afford it lol!

You must live!! Here is a twenty thousand dollar bill!

 

[SirChuxAlot]

I have to say no. If my Colitis doesn't progress to cancer that kills me, I fear it may be by my own hands at some point in life but truthfully, I really don't know if I even want to see life at or after 40.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

At a certain point the years start skipping by in 2's and 4's. Previously I would have answered no to the question but now I have to answer yes.

Perfect.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I can only see myself getting older because all of these methods for ending it are either too hard, expensive, or painful... if not I would be gone by now. Such a fucking shame

Absolutely!

 

[snowman626]

plan on ctb when my parents go, if they live till 80 i should be around 50 which is the oldest i'll tolerate.

 

[Bentley Goldman]

It sucks my mom is really young.

I don´t have that luxury but hopefully, she will understand.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Nope. It will be an absolute sheer miracle if I make it another 10 years. I honestly just want to go now but damn survival instinct plus i don't have my method quite yet.... i really don't want to hurt my mom but each day that passes I feel more and more like I just need to ctb.

 

[suffering]

I don't want to, but I have no choice, my SI is too high. I will live the humiliation of seeing my old face in the mirror. All I can hope for is that I will suffer as little as possible and manage to keep a sense of humor. I'm still hoping for a quick accidental death though. Dying in my sleep tonight would be the best thing ever.

 

[Bentley Goldman]

I don't want to, but I have no choice, my SI is too high. I will live the humiliation of seeing my old face in the mirror. All I can hope for is that I will suffer as little as possible and manage to keep a sense of humor. I'm still hoping for a quick accidental death though. Dying in my sleep tonight would be the best thing ever.

What does Sl stand for ?

 

[suffering]

What does Sl stand for ?

Survival instinct :(

 

[Bentley Goldman]

Survival instinct :(

I hope for an accidental death too.

 

[FaceOf]

I want to leave this world before my parents. They are old, 60 and 65. I know I am egoistic. But they raised me as this egoistic person. Every day I dream that it will be my last day in this world. Every night I close my eyes and don't want to open it anymore. Every time when I am in the metro I want to jump in front of train. Really I don't know how to end this shit.
If I had N I would like to drink it, lay close to my mom and fall asleep forever.

 

[Susannah]

I used to think I would die young. I was a huge fan of James Dean, and I had this "romantic" idea that I would die in a car crash, driving my Porsche Spyder. Sadly my older sister died in a car accident when I was a teenager, so I had to live, not so much for myself, but for my parents. I'm 40 now, and I guess I'll keep on surviving.

 

[KatieW]

I can only see myself getting older because all of these methods for ending it are either too hard, expensive, or painful... if not I would be gone by now. Such a fucking shame

Yup. The real reason most of us are here is fear of pain. Gotta work out that perfect painless plan - which is hard with anxiety and shit.

 

[ThisIsTheEnd]

Nah, I'll be (hopefully) leaving within the next few weeks. Just gotta make sure I don't fuck up, like usual.

 

[KatieW]

I used to think I would die young. I was a huge fan of James Dean, and I had this "romantic" idea that I would die in a car crash, driving my Porsche Spyder. Sadly my older sister died in a car accident when I was a teenager, so I had to live, not so much for myself, but for my parents. I'm 40 now, and I guess I'll keep on surviving.

Hey @Susannah - Hypothermia - freezing to death - is a viable ctb method in Norway, isn't it?

 

[stellabelle]

I can't.

Every single day I think about it and I know my time is running out.

I know I will be dead before 30.​

Not really, but I have a goal if I do get older - to become the next baddiewinkle. She's this outrageous elderly woman. Slim chance that'll ever happen though. I can't find peace or serenity anywhere.

 

[Exile]

I'm over 50 now and wish I had succeeded when I was a lot younger - if I had to be born at all. If all goes according to plan, I won't live to see my next birthday.

 

[Susannah]

Hey @Susannah - Hypothermia - freezing to death - is a viable ctb method in Norway, isn't it?

Absolutely! And it used to be a "popular" method "back in the days". Some pain specialists I've met claim freezing to death is more painful than burning (typically witch- burning on a stake). You loose your conscious earlier when burning.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Honestly I don't know. Hell I thought I'd be dead 4 years ago.

 

[KatieW]

Absolutely! And it used to be a "popular" method "back in the days". Some pain specialists I've met claim freezing to death is more painful than burning (typically witch- burning on a stake). You loose your conscious earlier when burning.

What?? And I imagined frozen nerves are dead; as in we press ice to a swollen cheek.