telekon
Arcanist
- Feb 5, 2025
- 451
I think the longer I stay on the website the closer I actually get to committing suicide. I don't want to do that but it feels inevitable hence why I'm here in the first place. I noticed over the past few days that I am really wanting to die, and reading the word "Suicide" so many times is just...idk subconsciously making me feel like...why am I reading so much about suicide. just fucking do it already. It's a self-soothing behaviour when I'm here reading posts and commenting. I'd do it on Reddit but I'm permabanned. I know all of these relationships are parasocial. I really need to just try and survive and I know this can't be a healthy coping thing for me anymore, even though it maybe once was. I'm logging out. I won't be responding to any messages.
as a premeditative response if anyone asks, I was feeling suicidal because I'm homeless.
I wanna just say you are all wonderful people and I wish you all peace. I just posted this but social belonging trumps everything else: https://web.archive.org/web/2017042...05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html ... it's a fact of life. if you can make even 1 true friend who you hang out with often then you will feel a lot less suicidal.
I want to say to people to
- get more sunlight
- do something spiritual
- work out often
- eat lots of protein and leafy greens
- take care of your house and make it look nice
- make yourself look nice too, as much as you can
- find a calling, reason to live other than people
- enjoy your hobbies
- get some sleep
- find a friend(s)
- be creative
Another thing that helped me a lot is studying astrology. It's fun to learn about your signs and planets, it helped me know myself a lot better. You're not just your sun sign, you have
- your sun (your core self)
- your moon (emotion/how you nurture)
- your mercury (how you think/communicate)
- your venus (how/what you love)
- your mars (your drive/aggression/sex)
- your Jupiter (your philosophy)
- your Saturn (where you feel pressure/fear/rebellion)
it can be fun to learn about yourself and do some introspection... I made a health app that I always wanted to share on here. pls don't dox my account if it ever blows up lol I don't know if it's because I made it but it helps me out of depressive ruts every time and I think it has made me a lot less psycho in general. It's called LIFESPACE and it's only in beta testing right now but I'm hoping it to be on the Apple App Store at the end of the month. You can find it on my astrology website: www.astrologytoday.ca (another thing I'm trying to start up...) I do astroanalysis if you are interested in that.
didn't intend to turn this into a self-promo but it's the last chance I'll get so mine as well. It's been a very interesting time here on SaSu and I'm very, very glad to have had this experience. Hopefully I don't kill myself. Hopefully everything will all work out in the end.
I'm just so tired. I'm pretty isolated right now so I hope when that changes everything will be alright.
Love you all.
as a premeditative response if anyone asks, I was feeling suicidal because I'm homeless.
I wanna just say you are all wonderful people and I wish you all peace. I just posted this but social belonging trumps everything else: https://web.archive.org/web/2017042...05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html ... it's a fact of life. if you can make even 1 true friend who you hang out with often then you will feel a lot less suicidal.
I want to say to people to
- get more sunlight
- do something spiritual
- work out often
- eat lots of protein and leafy greens
- take care of your house and make it look nice
- make yourself look nice too, as much as you can
- find a calling, reason to live other than people
- enjoy your hobbies
- get some sleep
- find a friend(s)
- be creative
Another thing that helped me a lot is studying astrology. It's fun to learn about your signs and planets, it helped me know myself a lot better. You're not just your sun sign, you have
- your sun (your core self)
- your moon (emotion/how you nurture)
- your mercury (how you think/communicate)
- your venus (how/what you love)
- your mars (your drive/aggression/sex)
- your Jupiter (your philosophy)
- your Saturn (where you feel pressure/fear/rebellion)
it can be fun to learn about yourself and do some introspection... I made a health app that I always wanted to share on here. pls don't dox my account if it ever blows up lol I don't know if it's because I made it but it helps me out of depressive ruts every time and I think it has made me a lot less psycho in general. It's called LIFESPACE and it's only in beta testing right now but I'm hoping it to be on the Apple App Store at the end of the month. You can find it on my astrology website: www.astrologytoday.ca (another thing I'm trying to start up...) I do astroanalysis if you are interested in that.
didn't intend to turn this into a self-promo but it's the last chance I'll get so mine as well. It's been a very interesting time here on SaSu and I'm very, very glad to have had this experience. Hopefully I don't kill myself. Hopefully everything will all work out in the end.
I'm just so tired. I'm pretty isolated right now so I hope when that changes everything will be alright.
Love you all.
