brute forcing my way into recovery

[lanadelreyisgod223]

I'm really very suicidal and want to CTB, but i also feel a sense of love and kindness for my body. i don't want to kill the person i used to love, even if it's been so hard to love the current version of myself now. it sounds so stupid but i'm genuinely brute forcing my way into staying alive and trying to see a future that it is worth living for.

 

[tonicer]

That's part of why i haven't killed myself too. I worked a long time to get this body into a somewhat decent shape and stuff a lot of knowledge into it's brain just to destroy it. It's one of my many anchors.