Venting I'm worried about killing myself because I want to find love first

[attheendofthenight_]

Its honestly so embarrassing. I'm so desperate for somebody to want me and love me. I don't want to live anymore, I'm too sick of life but I want to have boyfriend before I die. Its so stupid. I'm so jealous of my best friend who has a boyfriend. Nobody has ever really liked me and I've only been in a relationship once (which lasted 2 months). I just want somebody to want my existence. I'm worried that if I kill myself, I'll never get to know what I couldve had if I stayed alive.

 

[yearned]

i wish i had something more insightful to say, but i don't think relationships are necessary. culture often stresses the importance of dating, to everybody's detriment. i think a good way to meet people though is to take part in activities related to your interests, that way you might meet someone who you have stuff in common with. i have never been successfully seductive personally. the people i have dated have chosen to date me for different reasons. being yourself helps.

 

[attheendofthenight_]

i wish i had something more insightful to say, but i don't think relationships are necessary. culture often stresses the importance of dating, to everybody's detriment. i think a good way to meet people though is to take part in activities related to your interests, that way you might meet someone who you have stuff in common with. i have never been successfully seductive personally. the people i have dated have chosen to date me for different reasons. being yourself helps.

I appreciate the insight, really. I don't even know if I want a relationship to be honest, I think I just want somebody to want me here. And like if somebody did, would I still feel like this? Yk? Idek what I'm saying tbh. Thank you though.

 

[Front Back]

Yeah, I hope to love someone truly. I've partially gave up at this point.

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

That's a great reason to not hurt yourself, especially if you are still young. There's someone out there for everyone, and if you're still young, you have lots of time to find one or more of them. I really hope you continue to actively seek out someone special and not hurt yourself.

 

[cyanidekitty]

its not stupid or embarrassing at all to want someone to truly love you. if anything i feel like most if not everyone has atleast once wanted a relationship(before they came asexual or just uninterested in relationships that is)

i hope you are able to & if so i hope that person will change your mind on how u view life/wanting to end it.

and honestly, dont be entirely jealous of ur bestfriend
relationships really go to shit sometimes & it takes a lot to actually want to pull back out of that place.