Venting BPD is torture.

[lotus.dead]

How does one even live with BPD? How does one even properly love someone with BPD? It's running my life so much. I've lost way too many friends and FPs and it's driving me so crazy I could barely breathe. Yesterday i accidentally got so aggressive i threw stuff at my friends and punched them in the jaw. I reached out for help crying, only to realise even the most caring person could barely even understand what I feel. Now im planning CTB this week by OD. I know it'll hurt my family so much, i know it'll financially burden them, but the pain i feel outweighs the guilt i'll have for them. I hope anyone who understands what i feel responds, i rlly need to know that I'm not alone.

 

[Navi]

you definitely aren't alone. bpd has a high remission rate but its not easy. everything being turned up to 11 definitely doesn't help. i suggest taking a nap or doing something to ground yourself before making that decision. if you still decide to go for it, i wish you the best and the peace you deserve.

 

[tomame]

bpd has ruined much of my life too.

it's so terrible .. but, if you learn about it and self reflect on many of the destructive tendencies you have .. it leaves you with less cons of bpd and more pros

we're truly amazing people when we aren't being destructive

i would suggest watching videos by sam vaknin on YT. the book i hate you don't leave me- take the power back in this terrible disorder we have