Sleeper System
Z z Z z Z z Z z Z z Z
- May 5, 2022
- 866
Everyone has things they wish they didn't allow to happen or wish they could change. Don't give me that " I have no regrets because all my mistakes have lead me to the person I am today and I wouldn't want to be any other way. " Kindly, fuck off.
Anyway, I'm in my suicidal hole today because I think I made a bad decision. Long story incredibly short... I bullshited my way into a position at work that I really didn't want to do but the money was slightly better so I jumped through all the hoops and now I regret it. It sucks. The mental and physical stress is not worth the money at all. I'd pay what they are giving me to NOT do the job at this point. It's just really overwhelming and I kind of just want to step down and go back to what I was doing before. but there is a pressure on me from people who I respect and who vouched for me and even though letting them down would suck, ultimately I really couldn't care less.
So I guess I have to be an adult and stick it out for as long as I can. Every day the economy seems to be getting worse and now people making 100k a year are considered bottom middle class. And im below that. So imagine. The stress. Ugh.
I really just want this life to end already. Part of me wants to get a terminal disease so I have a legit reason to go but part of me also doesn't want to suffer. The duality of existence.
Anyone else have any regrets or current thing stressing them the fuck out!? I need to read some like minded folks stories so I can feel better about my own bullshit.
Anyway, I'm in my suicidal hole today because I think I made a bad decision. Long story incredibly short... I bullshited my way into a position at work that I really didn't want to do but the money was slightly better so I jumped through all the hoops and now I regret it. It sucks. The mental and physical stress is not worth the money at all. I'd pay what they are giving me to NOT do the job at this point. It's just really overwhelming and I kind of just want to step down and go back to what I was doing before. but there is a pressure on me from people who I respect and who vouched for me and even though letting them down would suck, ultimately I really couldn't care less.
So I guess I have to be an adult and stick it out for as long as I can. Every day the economy seems to be getting worse and now people making 100k a year are considered bottom middle class. And im below that. So imagine. The stress. Ugh.
I really just want this life to end already. Part of me wants to get a terminal disease so I have a legit reason to go but part of me also doesn't want to suffer. The duality of existence.
Anyone else have any regrets or current thing stressing them the fuck out!? I need to read some like minded folks stories so I can feel better about my own bullshit.