To all those who take benzodiazepines, beware of their paradoxical effects. These drugs are often thought to calm, put to sleep and soothe. But in high doses, or in certain situations, they can trigger the opposite: agitation, violence, even self-destructive behavior.
Three days ago, I was feeling really bad. I was plagued by suicidal thoughts and a desire to destroy myself. To calm down, I decided to take a large quantity of benzodiazepines. It wasn't a real suicide attempt - in any case, it's almost impossible to die from a benzodiazepine overdose alone - but rather an escape, an attempt to "anesthetize" myself.
To give you an idea:
I took about 800 mg of oxazepam, 7.5 mg of alprazolam, and a not inconsiderable amount of diazepam.
At first, I fell asleep. Then I woke up two days later - with no memory of what happened in between. My room was trashed. Everything was a mess. Broken things everywhere. And above all, I had a large gash on my arm, with blood all over the walls, the floor and the sheets.
I had to be taken to hospital to stop the bleeding. That's when the doctors explained to me two important things about benzodiazepine overdoses:
Temporary respiratory arrest: in very high doses, benzos can slow breathing to the point of anoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain), which can lead to irreversible brain damage.
Paradoxical effect: instead of causing a simple coma, an overdose can trigger episodes of violence, extreme agitation, even delirium or drug-induced psychosis.
i hope i don't end up in a pshychiatric hospital
Three days ago, I was feeling really bad. I was plagued by suicidal thoughts and a desire to destroy myself. To calm down, I decided to take a large quantity of benzodiazepines. It wasn't a real suicide attempt - in any case, it's almost impossible to die from a benzodiazepine overdose alone - but rather an escape, an attempt to "anesthetize" myself.
To give you an idea:
I took about 800 mg of oxazepam, 7.5 mg of alprazolam, and a not inconsiderable amount of diazepam.
At first, I fell asleep. Then I woke up two days later - with no memory of what happened in between. My room was trashed. Everything was a mess. Broken things everywhere. And above all, I had a large gash on my arm, with blood all over the walls, the floor and the sheets.
I had to be taken to hospital to stop the bleeding. That's when the doctors explained to me two important things about benzodiazepine overdoses:
Temporary respiratory arrest: in very high doses, benzos can slow breathing to the point of anoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain), which can lead to irreversible brain damage.
Paradoxical effect: instead of causing a simple coma, an overdose can trigger episodes of violence, extreme agitation, even delirium or drug-induced psychosis.
i hope i don't end up in a pshychiatric hospital
