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Being Jealous of Those Who Die
Thread starterhlynn95
Start date
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So I feel a little strange explaining this, but when I hear about a friend or someone who's died, I feel jealous. They found a way to escape life. I'm not sure if they wanted to die, as supposedly these people's deaths were accidents but I still get jealous that they got out of life. I wonder where they are now. The one friend got hit by a car, and the other an overdose. Of course I'm sad about losing them but I feel great envy because they no longer have to live in this miserable world. I didn't ask to be born, it should be my right to end it if I choose to do so. I'm just hesitant because I don't want to hurt my mother. Besides her, no one else really cares for me. I was thinking when she dies someday, I'll CTB then as well. I really have no one to live for. Everyone dislikes me. I'm an a cute looking girl, but looks are certainly not everything. It's the personality that matters. And I've tried getting "help"... sad to say, it does not help. What would help is if I had real life friends and socialization but everyone seems to give up on me. I just wish there was an easy way to die. I'm scared of all the suicide methods. If someone would take me out or it was an accidental death like in my friends' case, I'd die happily. Anyone else feel like this ? That they just wish someone else would kill them cuz they're too scared to do it themselves?
Yes, my husband killed himself last year and every time I hear about someone who died or is close to death I am jealous of them. I know what you mean. I tell myself that there must be a reason I am still here, I tell myself God has a plan for me so I should hang in there but it is hard. I don't have children, no one really needs for me to be here so when I go to sleep I pray that I won't wake up. I am so sad and I feel so alone, I don't enjoy anything anymore. I don't understand why people are interested in the things this world has to offer.
Reactions:
Per Ardua Ad Astra, hlynn95, ph7lactosemotel and 1 other person
Lots of reasons, like many of us here he did not enjoy living in this world...his sister also took her own life 10 years before he did...your comment of "Didn't he want to stay alive for you?? If y'all were in love?" REALLY MAKES ME FEEL BAD btw because apparently he didn't want to stay alive for me.
[bump]
Any other thoughts on all this ? I wonder where they go when they reach "the other side." But yes, I feel jealous that they've escaped this wicked world.
I wouldn't say I'm jealous. I feel sad for them because most of these people actually wanted to live. Now I just watch gore videos to feel better about my own situation. I'm still gonna ctb soon regardless
I wouldn't say I'm jealous. I feel sad for them because most of these people actually wanted to live. Now I just watch gore videos to feel better about my own situation. I'm still gonna ctb soon regardless
Gore videos?! Where do you find those !? I wanna ctb soon too but I just can't find the courage to do it alone. I'm really scared of failure and the pain of killing oneself. That's why I'm jealous of ppl who have found a way out (I guess successful suicides would be more of something to be envious about vs. being killed , cuz if they wanted to live then I'd feel bad for their tragedy).
i know that feeling... im not jealous that they do not deserve their peace. im jealous or i think angry to myself is a better description - that im still here.
i dont want this life anymore and i wish i could vanish my existence with a button. quick and easy,
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