Back again

[darkenmydoorstep]

Not been here for a couple of months but then came the school holidays. All that time spent with my aggressive son has just floored me. Every day being told to die, having things thrown at me, spat at.Just brings me back here. Why wouldn't it? He's 12 and a half so it's 5 and a half years til i can leave guilt free.
The thought utterly exhausts me.
My friend died of cancer a couple of months ago and I wish it had been me instead.

 

[badtothebone]

Not been here for a couple of months but then came the school holidays. All that time spent with my aggressive son has just floored me. Every day being told to die, having things thrown at me, spat at.Just brings me back here. Why wouldn't it? He's 12 and a half so it's 5 and a half years til i can leave guilt free.
The thought utterly exhausts me.
My friend died of cancer a couple of months ago and I wish it had been me instead.

What you mean floored you?

 

[Glenferd666]

Not been here for a couple of months but then came the school holidays. All that time spent with my aggressive son has just floored me. Every day being told to die, having things thrown at me, spat at.Just brings me back here. Why wouldn't it? He's 12 and a half so it's 5 and a half years til i can leave guilt free.
The thought utterly exhausts me.
My friend died of cancer a couple of months ago and I wish it had been me instead.

Put him into care if he's too uncontrollable. He seems awful.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Does your son have ADHD or similar? If so, is he treated? You can't live like that for another 5+ years. I think some "tough love" is going to be what's needed. I hope you can find it in you to get him that kind of tough love that's needed, for you and for him.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Isn't it kind of your fault that your son is like this? You are his parent after all. You need to start disciplining him, and no, that does not mean using positive punishment on him (positive punishments often are or lead to abuse. Negative punishment and positive reinforcement tend to be the most effective means of disciplining children). You should aim for a more authoritative parenting style (not authoritarian).

You should also look into talking to him to see what might be going on since children sometimes act out as a result of stress, trauma, and/or mental illness. It would also probably be helpful to get him counselling or something to get him to learn to better regulate his emotions and to have someone to vent to.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I should never have had him.
I know that now.
I just want done. Out. Hence why I'm here. Don't wish any ill upon him. In fact I wish he'd just kill me and that way I'd be dead and he'd get locked up so could get therapy/couldn't make anyone else's life hell.

Does your son have ADHD or similar? If so, is he treated? You can't live like that for another 5+ years. I think some "tough love" is going to be what's needed. I hope you can find it in you to get him that kind of tough love that's needed, for you and for him.

He is autistic and goes to a special school for kids with behavioural difficulties. He's in some meds.
Maybe they need upping. I don't know. No-one wants to see their kid on loads of meds do they?
I just can't wait to leave.

What you mean floored you?

I don't mean he floored my physically- although he has this evening just thumped me hard on the leg and thrown several things at me. I just mean the experience of being with him day in day out in these school holidays has floored me. Drained me.