Arsehole work colleague has ruined my entire life and career- Ctb

[FireFox]

He is a 55 years old man and he cant even sort problems like as an adult, like a man. He has ruined my life, my career and I can't believe I ever loved him. I just want to die right now. I cant believe this is happening. I am 25 and he has ruined my life

After I told my work colleague I was in love with him and that I dont want this to complicate things at work. The man told me its "nothing to worry" about and "we are cool". The arsehole goes to my line manager and complains how I made him feel uncomfortable at work. Today my manager called a meeting and has given me warning and next time my I will be in a HR meeting for workplace harassment. Its on my work file. Already I had an issue at work with an arsehole customer.

My career is over, my entire life is over and I just want to go to the park, deep in the wooded area with bushes and tress and hang myself. I hate f*cking hate him. My life is over. Its all over. I worked so hard now it's gone.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

Sorry to hear. I'd wanna kms too if this happened. Luckily I just hate everyone and refuse to find love.

 

[FireFox]

Sorry to hear. I'd wanna kms too if this happened. Luckily I just hate everyone and refuse to find love.

@dogthebenzohunter This is so not fair. He is nice to my face saying everything is good but behind my back he saying how I made him feel uncomfortable. He never at the time protested or ever told me to stop.
I can't trust anyone anymore at work

 

[hungry_ghost]

What a POS! They are liars and gas-lighters.

 

[VioletNight]

That is such bullshit, what a horrible person. He probably just wants to have a feeling of control over you/others. If at all possible you should definitely try to find a job elsewhere, people like him devote their existence to bringing others down so they can feel on top.

 

[FireFox]

What a POS! They are liars and gas-lighters.

@Sufi I am so shocked when my line manager called me for a meeting. Hours ago my work colleague told me we are fine then he tells my line manager I made him uncomfortable.

The work emails I sent my colleague were pretty much normal and private

- I complimented his appearance
- opened up about issues in my home life because I trusted him
- helped him with his work
- gave him encouragement
- I told him I loved him and accepted he is in a relationship. I wished him well

This is what he FUCKING COMPLAINS ABOUT. HE IS 55 YEARS OLD and he crying like a baby

 

[Cathy Ames]

He is a 55 years old man and he cant even sort problems like as an adult, like a man. He has ruined my life, my career and I can't believe I ever loved him. I just want to die right now. I cant believe this is happening. I am 25 and he has ruined my life

After I told my work colleague I was in love with him and that I dont want this to complicate things at work. The man told me its "nothing to worry" about and "we are cool". The arsehole goes to my line manager and complains how I made him feel uncomfortable at work. Today my manager called a meeting and has given me warning and next time my I will be in a HR meeting for workplace harassment. Its on my work file. Already I had an issue at work with an arsehole customer.

My career is over, my entire life is over and I just want to go to the park, deep in the wooded area with bushes and tress and hang myself. I hate f*cking hate him. My life is over. Its all over. I worked so hard now it's gone.

Question: Do you have any emails, saved voicemails, or other types of communications from him that clearly indicate that he was signaling his interest and leading you on? If so, then I think HR needs to see them. [My guess is that he very likely stayed exactly on the correct side of the line, though, so I recommend you get a second, unbiased opinion if you think you do have a thing like that from him.]

Did you tell him you loved him and wish him well in writing or just in person (or over the phone)?

I actually think you can overcome this if you choose to try.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really awful situation to be in, it's horrible how humans so often make the existences of others much worse and create so much suffering. No wonder so many people want to die when many people make this world an even more hellish place.

 

[FireFox]

Question: Do you have any emails, saved voicemails, or other types of communications from him that clearly indicate that he was signaling his interest and leading you on? If so, then I think HR needs to see them. [My guess is that he very likely stayed exactly on the correct side of the line, though, so I recommend you get a second, unbiased opinion if you think you do have a thing like that from him.]

Did you tell him you loved him and wish him well in writing or just in person (or over the phone)?

I actually think you can overcome this if you choose to try.

Yes I have kept evidence of all our email conversations because they were so many even when I told him I loved him in an email I did say I wish him well. I accepted wr had no future.

I have been warned by my line manager if the arsehole cries again then it will be going to HR. He is 55 years old and my line manager is in his 50s too. Both these men are fucking arseholes ganging up on a 25 year old.

The warning is now on my workplace file. For now i have been warned not to hurt his feelings. I am staying FUCKING CLEAR AWAY WITH HIM. HE IS CAN NOT BE TRUSTED.

I HATE MY WORKPLACE this is the worst day ever.

That is such bullshit, what a horrible person. He probably just wants to have a feeling of control over you/others. If at all possible you should definitely try to find a job elsewhere, people like him devote their existence to bringing others down so they can feel on top.

@VioletNight The worst thing is he is 55 years old this is why I can't stop crying my eyes out. He is a grown arse man he should have talked to me about his concerns.

He was pretending to be nice to my face then says bullsh*t about me to our line manager. I cant believe this happening.

Hours ago my work colleague told me we are fine then he tells my line manager I made him uncomfortable.

The work emails I sent my colleague were pretty much normal and private

- I complimented his appearance
- opened up about issues in my home life because I trusted him
- helped him with his work
- gave him encouragement
- I told him I loved him and accepted he is in a relationship. I wished him well

This is what he FUCKING COMPLAINS ABOUT. I REGRET EVER MEETING HIM AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM. I CANT BELIEVE I WAS SO STUPID FALLING IN LOVE WITH 55 YEAR OLD.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If it's over with this man, why are you emailing him at all? You're handing him over proof of harassment by doing so. You need to cease all contact with him before he brings you down.

 

[FireFox]

If it's over with this man, why are you emailing him at all? You're handing him over proof of harassment by doing so. You need to cease all contact with him before he brings you down.

@locked*n*loaded I emailed him before he went to my line manager. He told me everything was fine I never expected him to complain behind my back the entire time.

I was never expecting any of this, he was acting so nice. I am now avoiding him. I am still in shock. I am confused. I'm shocked.

I can't believe this is happening a 55 year old man is doing this behaviour to me. I thought this age group behaved themselves.

Everyone at work loves him. He has this charm. I am staying the hell away from him. I cant look at him the same way anymore.

 

[LastFlowers]

I deal with this same cowardly version of sabotage in the form of my own parent.
Even when you think you've gotten through to them or had a civil conversation, turns out they've been lying to others behind your back and destroying any semblance of sanity, reputation or dignity you had left, and there is rarely anything you can even do about it because someone else has already set the stage against you.

My situation differs from yours but in a way, I feel your despair and sense of defeat, I am so sorry you are dealing with this and that it's apparently going to cost you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I thought this age group behaved themselves.

It's more about level of maturity, no matter the age. The best thing, IMO, you can do is cease all contact with this person, whether by email or in person. No contact = no basis for harassment claims.

 

[FireFox]

I deal with this same cowardly version of sabotage in the form of my own parent.
Even when you think you've gotten through to them or had a civil conversation, turns out they've been lying to others behind your back and destroying any semblance of sanity, reputation or dignity you had left, and there is rarely anything you can even do about it because someone else has already set the stage against you.

My situation differs from yours but in a way, I feel your despair and sense of defeat, I am so sorry you are dealing with this and that it's apparently going to cost you.

@LastFlowers virtual hug

Worst of all my work colleagues can't even be trusted. I told 1 woman I trusted about how I had feelings for him and have accepted there is no future. I was lonely and needed someone to talk to.
She goes ahead and tells him. I only found out when my manger mentioned her name.

I am AVOIDING HIM after all this. I have no allies in the workplace. I have no friends

It's more about level of maturity, no matter the age. The best thing, IMO, you can do is cease all contact with this person, whether by email or in person. No contact = no basis for harassment claims.

In the beginning he pursued me first the emails prove it it all went wrong when I caught him with his trousers down and questioned him over his relationship which he hid from me. He knew 100% I liked him but was too cowardly to tell me the truth

he couldn't even cope with my questioning as I caught him lying. I was naturally upset someone I loved was not honest in the beginning.

He acts like he is happy to see me at work then he goes behind my back to complain to me about the boss.

I bruised his ego I think he is making me suffer. This whole thing feels like one of those psychological workplace tv dramas and thrillers.

Why the hell is nobody in the workplace talking the imbalance of power in the age gap.

That sounds like a really awful situation to be in, it's horrible how humans so often make the existences of others much worse and create so much suffering. No wonder so many people want to die when many people make this world an even more hellish place.

@FuneralCry I don't even want to go to work tomorrow because right now it feels like it's me against the workplace.

I can't win anymore. My workplace never supports me in anything. I had a customer who was a mega arsehole and when I told the truth about her unfair behaviour. The workplace management was behaving as if I was beating the customer. It was awful.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry this human awful betray do thifn prtnde other. This also work place toxi env toxi rule. This hhman all do backstab sya ok ok one side go other side do diff. This know how betray diff scenrio injury damage