Discussion Are you okay?

[aesthetic]

i'm not okay.

 

[lpdsvm]

Not OK. Not qualified for my job. Easily replaceable because they can get someone for a lower salary. Not talented. Useless. Fake. Not different from someone who is a fraud etc anyway.

 

[asfergrggdas]

no

 

[Spite]

Not really. If I was okay I probably wouldn't be on this forum lol.

But in all seriousness, I loathe waking up every day and reporting to a boring, soul-crushing 9-to-5 job. I can't do this for the rest of my life and I feel like I am slowly going insane. I miss my wife so much my heart hurts. We're long-distance and separated by the ocean and I haven't seen her since August and I don't know when I will see her again but I'm trying to get her back here so we can live together permanently.

 

[cookji]

"No… it's really hard. I just want to feel at peace.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

Im really really sorry you feel like that. Im here to talk if u ever need anything!

thank you. i appreciate that and i am here if you need to talk too, i think its really kind of you to want to help people.

i feel very lonely and ignored almost always in my real life and i dont have much energey to do all the things i have to get done so everyone gets frustrated with me for falling so behind

 

[PurplePerson]

"No… it's really hard. I just want to feel at peace.

I really hope u feel better!!

Not really. If I was okay I probably wouldn't be on this forum lol.

But in all seriousness, I loathe waking up every day and reporting to a boring, soul-crushing 9-to-5 job. I can't do this for the rest of my life and I feel like I am slowly going insane. I miss my wife so much my heart hurts. We're long-distance and separated by the ocean and I haven't seen her since August and I don't know when I will see her again but I'm trying to get her back here so we can live together permanently.

Im sorry to hear that. I hope you two can live together some day!!

Not OK. Not qualified for my job. Easily replaceable because they can get someone for a lower salary. Not talented. Useless. Fake. Not different from someone who is a fraud etc anyway.

You're not any of those things, you just have to shine, and if you don't have a glow then you gotta find it!

Not today I'm not. I got 3 hours of sleep and can't fall back asleep. Got stuff to do today and I'm about to start my time of the month. Can't I just die already??? Like, what is even the point of going on with this miserable life anyway!

The reason to go on is different for a lot of people, you just gotta search for that reason! Im sure you will find it. I really hope everything gets better for you!

No, as existence is completely unacceptable in every way, this existence is a mistake that just causes all this terrible, dreadful cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer, there's just so much evil in existing with existing beings tortured every second.

It truly is an abomination to exist and it's just so terrible how humans impose this existence at all causing all this harm and suffering as a result with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and what is so horrific to me is how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer just for one to face the agony of old age.

I always suffer so much from existing in this horrific world where humans have made it a crime to cease existing painlessly, the fact that the option of painless, guaranteed death is denied for me is such horrific extreme cruelty, there truly is so much evil in anti-suicide in how they want others to be tortured for as much and as long as possible, for me non-existence is all that's positive, I'll only be okay once I'm at permanent peace from the evil of existence.

You shouldn't say those things about yourself. You are here for a reason. You matter. Don't beat yourself up over things can't control, because it will eat you from the inside out.

 

[fairygirl184]

appreciate you <33
i'm not doing too well but thank you for asking. how are you?

 

[PurplePerson]

appreciate you <33
i'm not doing too well but thank you for asking. how are you?

I dont really like talking about how I am, but I hope you feel better!!! Thanks for asking btwww

 

[fairygirl184]

I dont really like talking about how I am, but I hope you feel better!!! Thanks for asking btwww

thats okay !! i just wanted to ask back bc its v nice of you

 

[Anthropos]

I am but want to die even so.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I will be better once I'm finally suspended from college and I don't have to worry about it anymore. I'll be back where I started, but that is better than this. I hate it here so much. Just a little over a month left. The daily anxiety is killing me.

 

[Campanella]

It must seem hopeless to ask a question like that on a forum like this, but you're an angel for it.

No one bothers to ask if I'm okay, I'll get a "what's wrong" or assumed all is well at most, no one to actually check in on me even if I disappeared for months though. So I really appreciate the thought that the question could be extended to me too, I've always wanted it and it's likely been a number of years. With that, I regret even more I couldn't give a remotely positive answer either.
I find myself more hopeless by the day, moving forward to "greater things" only makes me upset things couldn't get better sooner, when I still had the heart to appreciate and need it, and I'm forced to recognise the fact there is no better world for me. It hurts that I am alone, but I'm not sure if I could say anymore that friendship or even love would make me happy now. It's all I ever wanted and keep failing to find, all I've ever done was to try to make myself more loveable, but I feel I've became so lost that not even love would sincerely mean much to me. I'm not sure if I love, or just get attached easily, whatever it is hurts so much, I hope it ends. The other person never feels half as much as I do, and now I'm not sure if it would make a difference even if they did. I would only be distraught that it wasn't that way sooner when I needed it. Sorry, none of this makes sense. I feel like I'm seriously developing Stockholm syndrome for another person who never loved me back but led me on, I can't get away and I don't want "better" anymore. I don't want things to keep getting worse, but it hurts so much when it gets better too. I wish I didn't have so many days to go through. It's chipping away at my soul and mind.

 

[submarinedownsea]

That was so cute of yourr

Well i really dont know but i would say bad ou meh maybe? Im going trough social problems, divorce still hits harder, collage friends are ignoring me at groups, hiding things of me, and what more kills me; im thinking to much. I feel guilty, sometimes i wanna sh but i cant, i wanna cry and i cant, i hate thinking.

BUTTTT, i started extra classes today what made me think im a little usefull, im playing vídeo games to make me happy or less stressed, kinda works. For now im trying to idk, force me to feel better until decide what im gonna do with my life (kms i mean)

 

[PurplePerson]

It must seem hopeless to ask a question like that on a forum like this, but you're an angel for it.

No one bothers to ask if I'm okay, I'll get a "what's wrong" or assumed all is well at most, no one to actually check in on me even if I disappeared for months though. So I really appreciate the thought that the question could be extended to me too, I've always wanted it and it's likely been a number of years. With that, I regret even more I couldn't give a remotely positive answer either.
I find myself more hopeless by the day, moving forward to "greater things" only makes me upset things couldn't get better sooner, when I still had the heart to appreciate and need it, and I'm forced to recognise the fact there is no better world for me. It hurts that I am alone, but I'm not sure if I could say anymore that friendship or even love would make me happy now. It's all I ever wanted and keep failing to find, all I've ever done was to try to make myself more loveable, but I feel I've became so lost that not even love would sincerely mean much to me. I'm not sure if I love, or just get attached easily, whatever it is hurts so much, I hope it ends. The other person never feels half as much as I do, and now I'm not sure if it would make a difference even if they did. I would only be distraught that it wasn't that way sooner when I needed it. Sorry, none of this makes sense. I feel like I'm seriously developing Stockholm syndrome for another person who never loved me back but led me on, I can't get away and I don't want "better" anymore. I don't want things to keep getting worse, but it hurts so much when it gets better too. I wish I didn't have so many days to go through. It's chipping away at my soul and mind.

Im truly sorry to hear all that. I'm not really good at forming sentences to comfort people but I'll try. I know it feels like your at the bottom, even though you know it can get worse. I know that pain. I want to wish that everything gets better, but I dont know if thats good in that case. The thing i wish for you is that you find peace. It's something you deserve. To feel good. I know it will find you some day, and I hope true love does as well. Every night, I go outside and I find the brightest star, then I talk to it. I kinda helps me, so id recommend trying it. It is good to talk out loud about what bothering you, even if no one can hear besides the stars. I know this might not be for everyone so sorry if it doesn't work. On the other hand, I wouldn't really do this, but there's a song by an artist named Penelope scott. The song is called "Feel better". This song reminds me of your situation a lot, word for word. It has helped me feel a lot better when im sad, so id recommend listening to it. Idk if her music is the type that you'd listen to thooo. Sorry if this isnt a lot of help, but im always here to talk if you ever need it!! Have an amazing day or night, and hang in there!

 

[Campanella]

Im truly sorry to hear all that. I'm not really good at forming sentences to comfort people but I'll try. I know it feels like your at the bottom, even though you know it can get worse. I know that pain. I want to wish that everything gets better, but I dont know if thats good in that case. The thing i wish for you is that you find peace. It's something you deserve. To feel good. I know it will find you some day, and I hope true love does as well. Every night, I go outside and I find the brightest star, then I talk to it. I kinda helps me, so id recommend trying it. It is good to talk out loud about what bothering you, even if no one can hear besides the stars. I know this might not be for everyone so sorry if it doesn't work. On the other hand, I wouldn't really do this, but there's a song by an artist named Penelope scott. The song is called "Feel better". This song reminds me of your situation a lot, word for word. It has helped me feel a lot better when im sad, so id recommend listening to it. Idk if her music is the type that you'd listen to thooo. Sorry if this isnt a lot of help, but im always here to talk if you ever need it!! Have an amazing day or night, and hang in there!

Really lovely suggestions, I used to be into astronomy more before losing my enjoyment in that too. Out of the night sky I used to be able to follow the patterns and could probably tell you the name of any star picked out of the sky, along with its legends or what constellation/asterism it's a part of. My memory is more spotty now, it's been a year or two since I did that. I'm a bit weak right now but maybe I'll go out to see the stars again soon since you bring it up (given that I'm still awake at least, it's late here), it's too sad that I've gone without even thinking of it anymore.
I never actually listened to much modern music, just 60s-90s stuff (The Smiths resonates with me most), thank you for just bringing up anything you could. I hope I can find peace too, that is the one thing I can confidently say I want...

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Nope!

 

[wtg]

Feel hopeless, but it is what it is

 

[jb.fletcher]

Purple, that's very kind of you to reach out to everyone! The dark can be a cold, cruel, wicked place and it's not easy finding the light.

I'd like to put out there that I'd also be willing to chat if anyone needs it. People can be so mean to one another and Purple you have the right idea.

I'm so sorry for those of you suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sometimes your mind is a scary place.

 

[foreverandever]

I'm not ok, not at all. I'm overwhelmed, and depressed, and don't feel like I have any hope left. So, the normal, haha. But, thanks for asking. God knows nobody else has lately.

But, I'm trying to regulate a little bit tonight. I've got some of my favorite music playing and I'm going to try some drawing. Neither have really helped lately, but I might as well try, right?

(I'll probably just end up scrolling on here or other sites, frankly)

 

[ForgetIExist]

I really hope you feel better soon!!

Same here!

 

[PurplePerson]

I'm not ok, not at all. I'm overwhelmed, and depressed, and don't feel like I have any hope left. So, the normal, haha. But, thanks for asking. God knows nobody else has lately.

But, I'm trying to regulate a little bit tonight. I've got some of my favorite music playing and I'm going to try some drawing. Neither have really helped lately, but I might as well try, right?

(I'll probably just end up scrolling on here or other sites, frankly)

You are amazing for still trying. I hope everything goes amazing for you in the future. Do u think maybe I could see your art if u do draw?

Feel hopeless, but it is what it is

I hope everything gets better for you!!!

 

[charlavail]

nope not at all! i was feeling slightly okay until i realized how not nice my ex was near the end and how much i gave up of myself and loved him and cared for him how much i hate myself for it, i can't stop SH, and then my mom called me and made me feel like shit so I straight up said "i'm better off just killing myself if you feel so burdened and hurt by me"

 

[pax420]

I'm far from ok, but that is sweet as hell of you asking if other people are ok abd trying to make them feel better. There are not a lot of people like you in this messed up world. It seems like we as humans are far too worried about ourselves being ok than to worry about someone else especially strangers. Thank you for your ray of light. You too jb. Fletcher

 

[PurplePerson]

nope not at all! i was feeling slightly okay until i realized how not nice my ex was near the end and how much i gave up of myself and loved him and cared for him how much i hate myself for it, i can't stop SH, and then my mom called me and made me feel like shit so I straight up said "i'm better off just killing myself if you feel so burdened and hurt by me"

Im so so sorry you have to deal with all of that. You dont deserve it. I really hope things get better in your life. Im here to talk if you ever need to, though I can't promise im good at comforting people.

 

[murdoc23]

Right now due to a series of very unfortunate events, my anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation are off the charts. Whenever I wake up, the first thing that comes into mind is why I am not dead yet. I'm still holding out a very, very slim amount of hope that my TMS treatment I'm getting might be able to do something but so far it's not looking good. I've been mentally hospitalized 3 times over the past 5 months, each of which made things worse for me. Right now I'm slowly trying to muster up the courage to figure out the least painful way to CTB.

 

[PurplePerson]

Right now due to a series of very unfortunate events, my anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation are off the charts. Whenever I wake up, the first thing that comes into mind is why I am not dead yet. I'm still holding out a very, very slim amount of hope that my TMS treatment I'm getting might be able to do something but so far it's not looking good. I've been mentally hospitalized 3 times over the past 5 months, each of which made things worse for me. Right now I'm slowly trying to muster up the courage to figure out the least painful way to CTB.

Im sorry to hear all that. I know coming from me it doesn't mean anything, especially on this site, but you life is valuable and precious.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

nope not at all! i was feeling slightly okay until i realized how not nice my ex was near the end and how much i gave up of myself and loved him and cared for him how much i hate myself for it, i can't stop SH, and then my mom called me and made me feel like shit so I straight up said "i'm better off just killing myself if you feel so burdened and hurt by me"

Oh wow you actually said that to her? What did she say? If I may ask.

 

[timetogo46892]

Things are bad. Multiple people have suddenly moved into my home and I no longer feel comfortable at home. I don't really feel okay ever anymore and it's really starting to effect my ability to handle life. I haven't drank in 3 days so that's good i guess.

I see my psych soon and if they lower my benzos again I think I may aquire SN. I'm being tapered off and I cannot handle another dose drop right now. There is still some part of me that I know has a hope that things can get better but i'm having a very difficult time listening to it lately. . I know I prolly shouldn't make this decision in a mentally unstable state but whatever. I don't think i'm okay.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Things are bad. Multiple people have suddenly moved into my home and I no longer feel comfortable at home. I don't really feel okay ever anymore and it's really starting to effect my ability to handle life. I haven't drank in 3 days so that's good i guess.

I see my psych soon and if they lower my benzos again I think I may aquire SN. I'm being tapered off and I cannot handle another dose drop right now. There is still some part of me that I know has a hope that things can get better but i'm having a very difficult time listening to it lately. . I know I prolly shouldn't make this decision in a mentally unstable state but whatever. I don't think i'm okay.

When I went through withdrawals/weening off of addictive substances, my suicidality went through the roof. So you may be right about "making this decision in a mentally unstable state".