Are you at the "point of no return" with ctb ?

[TAW122]

When I have my friends becone extremely worried about me wanting to kill myself, I literally don't feel anything for them, good and bad. The only person's reaction to my death I care about is my mother's.

So I honestly think so, yes. It's just a matter of when, and I think it really has to be next year.

Same, though I myself would still have to carry out my plans as quietly as possible as to not draw attention or suspicion. I don't see myself living through the rest of 2019 given how things are going for me in life.

 

[Retched]

I was and now I am still but things are not working out the way I need them to. Survival instinct is too freaking much for me.

 

[MAIO]

Of course. Been this way for years. I am just at a loss for methods right now.

A loss for methods? You need to get more creative.

 

[TiredHorse]

Survival instinct is too freaking much for me.

Survival instinct is a bitch, and she has a nasty way of kicking the PONR can down the road, keeping it just out of your reach, laughing all the while.

 

[Salvacion]

Exactly . I waited too long and caused even more harm and worry and repercussions just being here ..... have to act now, ideally this weekend

 

[worldexploder]

A loss for methods? You need to get more creative.

Yeah I don't think being more creative is going to work in my case. I need efficiency without the suffering. I got methods that I would like but my situation prevents me from obtaining them.

 

[Ghab]

To answer simply, yes.
​

I got no choice, I can't afford to live anymore, cant pay bills at the end of the month. I've lost everything and everyone bar some family. And that's not even scratchibg the surface..
It's all been working up to the point of CTB. Now I'm just biding my time and sorting things so it's some what easier for whoever clears my flat out.​

I wish you peace.

 

[Worsethangarbage]

Yup, at point of no return. Got my method ready - partial suspension. Will go off today hopefully.

 

[BurningLights]

I wish you peace.

Thank you my friend.
I hope you find the peace you long for.

 

[scissors]

I feel at the point no return. I'm just researching the best methods, practising and organising a few things, something I started while ago ( a will, living will etc). The thing that is the main issue as others have said is the survival instinct its really is a major spanner in the works, both in terms of the long term drive to live and the actual enormous fight to live right before death, that what worries me the most.

 

[Cody111]

It's a matter of when, not if.
Be it tomorrow, next week or in 5 years.
I kmow how my story ends, just not when.

 

[Nem]

Right now I'm pretty much at the point. This past year has been an absolute nightmare to say the freaking least, I really fucked things up severely to the point of holt freaking shit. I am just beside myself right now, this all started getting in a controlling relationship that wasn't the worst thing though.
The worst was a coworker offering me some of his valium, that was the absolute worst thing that I did was accept that shit.
The coworker should NEVER have offered me his mess ever, took one and got a headache and if I had thrown the rest of them out after that things would be okay. But, I didn't and I took another one just around a month later on Christmas day before going to gf family gathering.
This was the goddamn stupidest thing I did at that point in my life. I went back on meds and of course they only caused side effects and zero benefit. Dr kept me on the same meds for way too fucking long and he was an idiot.
Bottom line, went off the valium not knowing the withdrawal concern and started getting withdrawals almost the weeks after stopping. Dr changed it to a short acting anxiety med, got worse and then prescribed me a dangerous combination I should never have taken even one of.
Back then it was point of not return, now it's just crazy living in this hell everyday. Holy fucking shit this sucks ass!!!
Sorry for the novel,
Peace!!!

 

[BurningLights]

Right now I'm pretty much at the point. This past year has been an absolute nightmare to say the freaking least, I really fucked things up severely to the point of holt freaking shit. I am just beside myself right now, this all started getting in a controlling relationship that wasn't the worst thing though.
The worst was a coworker offering me some of his valium, that was the absolute worst thing that I did was accept that shit.
The coworker should NEVER have offered me his mess ever, took one and got a headache and if I had thrown the rest of them out after that things would be okay. But, I didn't and I took another one just around a month later on Christmas day before going to gf family gathering.
This was the goddamn stupidest thing I did at that point in my life. I went back on meds and of course they only caused side effects and zero benefit. Dr kept me on the same meds for way too fucking long and he was an idiot.
Bottom line, went off the valium not knowing the withdrawal concern and started getting withdrawals almost the weeks after stopping. Dr changed it to a short acting anxiety med, got worse and then prescribed me a dangerous combination I should never have taken even one of.
Back then it was point of not return, now it's just crazy living in this hell everyday. Holy fucking shit this sucks ass!!!
Sorry for the novel,
Peace!!!

Man, I so hope you find the peace you deserve. Much love

 

[MAIO]

Yeah I don't think being more creative is going to work in my case. I need efficiency without the suffering. I got methods that I would like but my situation prevents me from obtaining them.

What is your case?

 

[Nem]

Thanks Burning, I sure wish things were different though. Ever since I went on meds things went downhill totally, I can't believe I was stupid enough to even accept the valium from the coworker. That stuff is bad news if you take it longer than two weeks max, omg this was bad, my Dr at first wouldn't give me valium saying it was addictive so I then asked about going on meds that I took around 8 years earlier (I had been off meds for around 8 years, that's how good I was doing).
He gave me those but they were generic and the just made things worse, no benefit and side effects were severe, hair loss etc.
Eventually gave me a massive amount of valium with unlimited refills.
Peace!

 

[Nem]

Exactly . I waited too long and caused even more harm and worry and repercussions just being here ..... have to act now, ideally this weekend

Yep, putting this off can sometimes can make things multiple times worse.

 

[Jai]

To answer simply, yes.
​

I got no choice, I can't afford to live anymore, cant pay bills at the end of the month. I've lost everything and everyone bar some family. And that's not even scratchibg the surface..
It's all been working up to the point of CTB. Now I'm just biding my time and sorting things so it's some what easier for whoever clears my flat out.​

Nothing but empathy for you mate I'm in a similar fate and no matter how hard I try to be positive and do the right things I just get slammed by life it's like I'm cursed everything I do is in vain and I see no future whatsoever and I've contemplated these things for a long time and I arrive at the same conclusion everytime , it's time to leave this mortal coil I don't see what value I have to remain here .
Do what you got to do mate I certainly am good luck godspeed

 

[Roph]

Yes. CTB is my final option. It's overdue.

 

[Lavalamp]

Definitely ready but need to solve some "challenges" first. I wish there were no "challenges" or I could go now......

 

[Life sucks]

Ctb is the logical option but I don't know when. I need to ctb before the ugly death of time flow and stupid life

 

[End.of.the.line]

You only pass the point of no return once you die, in till then anything is possible

 

[Goldie]

I feel a lot closer to it now. I should have done it years ago. I'm a joke.

 

[YukiFox]

Well, I´m not feeling right now as "No return" point, but rather a "Accept myself if it happens" point. Let me explain:
Before, specially after the suicide of a friend, I was nervous, moralist and preventionist about taking own life. I was fearful about myself, and I blame me everytime when I think about CTB.
Today, I accept it as a possibility. I don´t have any plans, but when I CTB, certainly I will be more peaceful for doing it.

 

[Jiva]

I have a different problem. I don't have a courage for going forward and I don't have a courage to die. So I am standing on this one place. And it is the most scary.

 

[311]

Yes

 

[Comatose11]

Yes. I have no interest in living another several decades. I'm in my 20s and my family tends to live a long time - to their 80s, some even to their 90s. No way in hell am I going to stick around for that long. No way am I going to be a wage slave. No way will I be put in a nursing home where you're treated like a waste of space. No way will I live long enough to get dementia. No way will I live to 30 and experience the effects of aging. No way will I put up my depression for 6+ more decades. Fuck all of that.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Yep. I'm done.

 

[MAIO]

I know I am.
ctb is my only option to find peace and stop the mental torture my life has become.
I am 26 male and because of my social anxiety have no financial or social future.
I have ansolutely no intention on living my whole life in poverty being a wage slave and with no gf.
Plus I don't want to keep living in my shitty and depeessing country.

I could live a relatively "good life". I would prefer to die, and do what I believe is best for me.

 

[Anima]

It is nothing I am going to rush, but I have set my mind on it. Just need to find the right time, mindset and method.

 

[therhydler]

Yes. I have already had a failed attempt which left me with a broken spine and leg and scars... every second I am desperate to end it but have not had the means yet. And I am terrified of the same thing happening again, it not succeeding and leaving me in an even worse situation