Venting Anyone here under 30 and have no friends? (honestly)

[come to dust]

I do. But the thing is it feels all so futile regardless - I feel like it's just a game people play. I never see myself having anything with anyone on there. It's just a profile in which I hope to seek validation I guess. I feel like our pool is so much smaller too that the compatibility range is a lot smaller too.

i don't understand what's stopping you from being with someone there if they're interested in you. For me, the problem is I get no interest.

 

[cloperti3345]

I thought I'd make this thread because so many people on this site are much older and they've talked down to me in the past and I'm tired of it.

It's bad enough being told "It gets better" by idiots on Reddit, I don't really enjoy coming on here thinking I can open up and then realize it was all a waste of time because I was talking to some boomer who didn't start feeling "suicidal" until like 50.
These people just don't understand what it's like to never have had a chance at happiness or a good life. I never had a chance to get married and have kids or a happy family before ending up this way. Because of my situation I'll probably never get married because 1. I've never dated so I have no experience. and 2. I have no hobbies or friends. I don't need people lying and saying that it's fine that I have zero experience. It's not fine and people ARE judgmental about it. In fact I saw something recently about that Andrew Tate guy teaching men how to target virgins & lie to them and break their hearts and then leave them. I don't want to be treated as a piece of meat by strangers.
I heard from many people already that "women have it easy on Tinder" so I made an account and I didn't have "thousands of simps rushing to my feet and offering to buy me stuff". I only received a few messages from men being rude or instantly asking me for snapchat.
And when I get responses like that it just makes me realize that I'm right, it won't get better. If I had killed myself when I was 12 I wouldn't have to be dealing with any of this. I already feel bad enough for being behind in life, having men talk to me like I'm some kind of free prostitute doesn't boost my self esteem or ego so idk why so many of you guys act like all women have a great experience on dating apps because thats NOT THE TRUTH.

I've had so many days where wanting a boyfriend and sex/intimacy consumes my thoughts daily, but I know it's impossible for me. I think about cuddling when it's late at night and I'm laying in bed I just want to feel normal and I want to wake up the next day and be excited to hang out with someone.
But all I do is lie to myself, then I post online and get more lies told to me. At this point I'd honestly settle for a friend who'd be down to cuddle. I know the relationship stuff is probably never going to happen, but I still think about it even though I'll never have it. I've accepted some of this stuff, but the rest is really hard to come to terms with.

I know it's a long shot but I was wondering if anyone here can relate to me. I'd like to talk with someone who has experienced how frustrating this is, because I think most people don't understand, and that's why i've had bad luck with talking to people. The last online friend I had (who claimed to feel suicidal also) left my life after she got a boyfriend. I could really use a friend who understands how this kind of stuff feels because I am frustrated with my past so I only want a friend who understands this stuff too or has experienced extreme hurt/letdown.

I feel the exact same way. i'm 22, female, and won't ctb until my life gets unbearable and/or my parents die (they're in their 50s). but i browse this forum because it gives me a sense of peace about my backup plan. i feel you on having no friends. i moved states/countries/schools every 2-3 years from the age of 6 to 16. i was bullied often. im in college now, have almost failed out due to depression, and have no friends. also, yeah, when people say "women don't have to be lonely, they can get male attention any time" they're mostly talking about hot women lol. i've had no luck on tinder.
the loneliness can be really soul crushing honestly. i sometimes feel like i've fundamentally lost the ability to connect with others or trust anyone for an extended period of time. when it gets really bad and i can't stay at home anymore, i take myself out to dinner or get high by a pierre nearby where i live. i honest to god get what it feels like to have no one. most days, the best i can say about myself is that im existing tbh. the loneliness does get a bit easier as time passes since u kinda develop coping mechanisms (for me, interacting with people online). but it always sucks.
and putting yourself out there/joining clubs/doing activities/basic tier therapist advice hasn't done a ton for me. i'm left with people i know but who don't really have an interest in being my friend.

 

[Regen]

A few weeks ago I found a website, where you can date people who are not the norm. For example people without sexual interesse or people without any experience in relationship or people who are searching a polyamorie relationship. I think websites like tinder are difficult. I liked the idea of this special dating website and would try it if I would have the brave.

 

[BurningMan]

i don't understand what's stopping you from being with someone there if they're interested in you. For me, the problem is I get no interest.

I don't think you understand. Just because someone 'likes' you doesn't mean they are interested in anything futher. It's not as simple as that. I have tried and it's not as easy as that. Just because I get matches doesn't mean it's easy. That can be said for countless of people. Dating is complicated and looks matter a large bit. That does not mean they actually want anything more with one.

 

[planningmyexit]

I thought I'd make this thread because so many people on this site are much older and they've talked down to me in the past and I'm tired of it.

It's bad enough being told "It gets better" by idiots on Reddit, I don't really enjoy coming on here thinking I can open up and then realize it was all a waste of time because I was talking to some boomer who didn't start feeling "suicidal" until like 50.
These people just don't understand what it's like to never have had a chance at happiness or a good life. I never had a chance to get married and have kids or a happy family before ending up this way. Because of my situation I'll probably never get married because 1. I've never dated so I have no experience. and 2. I have no hobbies or friends. I don't need people lying and saying that it's fine that I have zero experience. It's not fine and people ARE judgmental about it. In fact I saw something recently about that Andrew Tate guy teaching men how to target virgins & lie to them and break their hearts and then leave them. I don't want to be treated as a piece of meat by strangers.
I heard from many people already that "women have it easy on Tinder" so I made an account and I didn't have "thousands of simps rushing to my feet and offering to buy me stuff". I only received a few messages from men being rude or instantly asking me for snapchat.
And when I get responses like that it just makes me realize that I'm right, it won't get better. If I had killed myself when I was 12 I wouldn't have to be dealing with any of this. I already feel bad enough for being behind in life, having men talk to me like I'm some kind of free prostitute doesn't boost my self esteem or ego so idk why so many of you guys act like all women have a great experience on dating apps because thats NOT THE TRUTH.

I've had so many days where wanting a boyfriend and sex/intimacy consumes my thoughts daily, but I know it's impossible for me. I think about cuddling when it's late at night and I'm laying in bed I just want to feel normal and I want to wake up the next day and be excited to hang out with someone.
But all I do is lie to myself, then I post online and get more lies told to me. At this point I'd honestly settle for a friend who'd be down to cuddle. I know the relationship stuff is probably never going to happen, but I still think about it even though I'll never have it. I've accepted some of this stuff, but the rest is really hard to come to terms with.

I know it's a long shot but I was wondering if anyone here can relate to me. I'd like to talk with someone who has experienced how frustrating this is, because I think most people don't understand, and that's why i've had bad luck with talking to people. The last online friend I had (who claimed to feel suicidal also) left my life after she got a boyfriend. I could really use a friend who understands how this kind of stuff feels because I am frustrated with my past so I only want a friend who understands this stuff too or has experienced extreme hurt/letdown.

Absolutely

 

[blvck]

I have none. All are either dead, gone, married or moved away. I never learned to make friends as a teen, so as an adult, without being in school every day, I don't get to meet other people.

I feel lonely and alone , like no one understands me. I can't feel close to anyone. When im having a hard time, there's no one I can call or talk to, so I struggle alone and end up relapsing.

 

[ShuttingDown]

Yeah, 28 and 0 friends, wish I had 2-3 at least whom I could trust, hangout, travel together but I don't even trust myself anymore so forget abt others

 

[Anzhe]

Maybe you just didn't love anyone for real? Because if you really liked someone, you would decide to take the risk even with the prospect of getting hurt. I mean, feeling a needle in a vein is not pleasant, but it's obvious that opiods pleasure is more important for drug addicts than pain and the risk of losing life, ruining relationships with relatives, getting a blood clot or AIDS, dying from an overdose, for example. Maybe you just don't really need it? I had a lot of men - I am an independent escort and have been working in this field since I was 15, but I have never had a relationship because every day I saw men cheating on their wives or girlfriends - but really reason for the lack of relationships is not that I am afraid that I will be hurt, I just have never met a man who would really like me and evoke emotions. I lied to people around me that I was in a relationship just so they wouldn't ask me dumb questions - why didn't you ever date anyone? You're beautiful and probably a lot of people who want it, but you've never tried it. Yes, I had many opportunities to start relationships with attractive men, but none of them appealed to me. When I was 19 my client was a very popular show business star and he was a little manic and showed too much feelings and it scared me and I stopped dating him, although he was very handsome. It's just that you probably didn't find this needle that would be very tempting for you, what would you draw? I hope that this is not the reason for your depression and desire to commit suicide, because even all the men put together are not worth it.

 

[silence ends]

30+, being mostly alone whole life. Personality, differencies from the "normal" doesn't change no matter what ite tried or done. There were times when being alone and outcast didnt mean loneliness but feeling lonely and frustrated belonging nowhere has gone worse over aging and causing massive anxiety

 

[Kualk]

Yup same thing here, kind of surprised that there are so many zoomers/millennials on here, thought that it was mostly older folk on this site.
If I might add it seems like what you are looking for is a romantic relationship, if so Tinder is absolutely not what you should use for that purpose as most people just use it as a "booty call" app, although I could not tell you what app/website you should use for that.

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

@katara Yup almost 30 and slowly but surely family and friends are gone from my life. I have been fairly solitary my whole life. Its what I like and how I live. I couldnt keep ongoing relationships with people. I always ended up just ghosting them.

 

[Brokensaddle]

I'm 28
No friends or family
Nobody going cares about and nobody will miss me when I'm gone soon

 

[enviro400mmc]

Relationships can feel like such a curse of life sometimes. You can't live without them and you can't live with them either. There have been points in my life (mostly when I've had a more solid base of platonic friends) where I used to be really obsessed with romantic relationships, would get really strong crushes etc but when I actually went into a relationship and it didn't work out and I let that damage other aspects of life I started to realise that it is something that you just can't be desperate for and now I'm not really invested in the idea of a relationship. The problem is that motivation I used to have has not been replaced and now a huge chunk of my will to live is just wiped out.

 

[katara]

Me too. I'm a 23 years old freak, Gothic, lesbian, and I live in a small village, where everybody points on you as soon as they see me

Hey nothing wrong with being goth or lesbian :) I live in a small town too, mostly all old retirement aged people around here so nothing to do. But I have no friends so it's not like it would matter anyways. Honestly it's not a terrible place if you are older and at the end stage of your life. People in your village sound very boring! But what you said reminded me of an Instagram model/artist I follow. I forget her name but she's goth and wears very weird contact lenses. Her and her boyfriend both dress goth and make clothing together. She's said Uber drives will refuse to pick her up or cancel right after seeing her. What you said reminded me of her. Sorry people treat you badly, most people are very boring u know? This world loves to try and drain creativity out of us.

 

[Rainy_days]

I'll be 40 this year. Last year I alienated the one person left who still tried to keep in touch with me.

 

[katara]

I am 21, and have been depressed/suicidal for about 4 years (I've made posts on here during partiularly bad times throughout the years), I would really enjoy being able to be friends with someone. I also share your same feelings about wanting initmacy, it's not just about the sex I just want someone I can be emotionally close to and cuddle with. I'm open to becoming friends with anyone

Have you pm'd with anyone on this site before? I think I've seen you around but I don't remember where. Sorry to hear you've been around for so long and things haven't gotten better for you. Honestly I'm the same, I've been struggling for years and nothing has improved. I used to post in the depression subreddit and places like that before I found this place. Sometimes it would get frustrating because most people on here are so much older then me and have had such normal lives and life experiences. I'd be open to talking to you because you are around my age, feel free to share you experiences with me. I'm down to talk anytime <3

 

[Josh007]

I was always the bullied kid. So my only friend is my pen and paper.

Same here, except I can't even write. I've tried journaling but I just end up feeling worse because the emotions are too overwhelming.
So yeah guys I sometimes wonder if I'll ever stopped coming back to 0. I hope I'm wrong.

 

[epic]

You are not alone in being alone as this thread proves.
I have great friends but they have moved away to different places, further I try to minimize contact because I don't want people to get too attached and then get scarred if I decide to CTB. Same goes for getting into a relationship.

 

[lonewolf22]

41. No friends. Spent my whole life yearning for meaningful connections. Never found any. Every day is a nightmare

 

[katara]

@sohosquare
Wow that's pretty terrible, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I had a best friend who died that way. If it makes you feel any better I was in a psych ward when I was pretty young too. It was a shitty place and scared me, so luckily I've never gone again, the place I went to was worse then a prison. I wish places like it didn't exist.
I've always felt like a burden so I didn't complain even when I was miserable. People always seem so distant from me and I never knew if it was my bad social skills or something else. Sense I have no friends and am in this state, it's difficult for people to see me as a potential friend because I never have anything going on with my life.
I can't imagine having a friend group in school, I can't tell you how many times I sat alone at lunch and saw normal people and felt so alien and disconnected. Eventually I stopped eating lunch entirely because I had no appetite so I'd go basically all day without eating and then binge once I got home. All I wanted to do was sleep forever.

 

[nothappy2behere]

I'm in my mid 20's, so I think that makes me not a boomer (thank fucking god). Just ignore the Andrew Tate BS. As a guy I have faith most men know the dude is fucking wack. Obviously he has a cult following of dumbass frat-boy wannabe douchebags, but I truly believe most guys don't buy his alpha male bullshit (at least I really hope). And speaking of Reddit... I probably roll my eyes every few minutes I read comments on the site. A lot of the overall community is annoying, and it only gets worse depending on the subreddit you are in. Everybody on Reddit is either a therapist or a lawyer with an infinite amount of wisdom to share with everyone... *rolls eyes*

I haven't had friends in years unfortunately. But I have nobody to blame but myself because as my depression gets worse, I find myself isolating more and more. Even when I thought I had friends, they were veryyy toxic, so I'm not sure if that even counts as having friends or is considered having under zero friends But yeah, kinda hard for me to make friends when I close myself off from the world. It can get really trippy at times because I will have moments where I feel so distant or cut-off from society/reality.

To give you a different angle on the relationship stuff, in my early 20's I was obsessed with the idea that I never had a gf, but then I managed to get into my first relationship which lasted 4 years, and lo and behold, it was a toxic nightmare. Not very surprising considering how unhealthy I was as a person, and how I gravitated towards an equally unhealthy person. Thankfully I got out of that relationship, and now I realize I'd rather be single and alone instead of being in a toxic relationship. I know this isn't the response you are looking for, so I guess all I'm trying to say is that in some cases having a partner can actually be a lot worse than being lonely and single But yeah, seeing my peers and people I grew up with being in relationships (that seem healthy) is really tough on my self-esteem.

I'm in my mid 20's, so I think that makes me not a boomer (thank fucking god). Just ignore the Andrew Tate BS. As a guy I have faith most men know the dude is fucking wack. Obviously he has a cult following of dumbass frat-boy wannabe douchebags, but I truly believe most guys don't buy his alpha male bullshit (at least I really hope). And speaking of Reddit... I probably roll my eyes every few minutes I read comments on the site. A lot of the overall community is annoying, and it only gets worse depending on the subreddit you are in. Everybody on Reddit is either a therapist or a lawyer with an infinite amount of wisdom to share with everyone... *rolls eyes*

I haven't had friends in years unfortunately. But I have nobody to blame but myself because as my depression gets worse, I find myself isolating more and more. Even when I thought I had friends, they were veryyy toxic, so I'm not sure if that even counts as having friends or is considered having under zero friends But yeah, kinda hard for me to make friends when I close myself off from the world. It can get really trippy at times because I will have moments where I feel so distant or cut-off from society/reality.

To give you a different angle on the relationship stuff, in my early 20's I was obsessed with the idea that I never had a gf, but then I managed to get into my first relationship which lasted 4 years, and lo and behold, it was a toxic nightmare. Not very surprising considering how unhealthy I was as a person, and how I gravitated towards an equally unhealthy person. Thankfully I got out of that relationship, and now I realize I'd rather be single and alone instead of being in a toxic relationship. I know this isn't the response you are looking for, so I guess all I'm trying to say is that in some cases having a partner can actually be a lot worse than being lonely and single But yeah, seeing my peers and people I grew up with being in relationships (that seem healthy) is really tough on my self-esteem.

can we be friends? i'm mid 20s as well and relate a lot to what you posted

 

[PleaseTakeMeAway]

Yeah. I'm there too.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Early 20s here. No irl friends for years at this point. I do have few people I can talk to online.

 

[Rob1984]

can we be friends? i'm mid 20s as well and relate a lot to what you posted

of course we can be friends

 

[The Eeyorish One]

I have no friends currently, but I am in a relationship, which is almost worse in a way… I get taken care of financially and I just feel like a leech. I have had online friends in the past but it's kinda devastating when they eventually drop you so I just don't talk to people anymore.