Anyone here not care about romantic relationships in general

[Journeytoletgo]

For me I'd rather have friends than romance. Any social needs I have are better fulfilled by friendship. I feel like the prospect of a breakup or things not working out is too much pressure and stress. I've been with someone before and it didn't work due to my personality, and the second time I just wasn't attracted.

Though I also like romance in fiction, it's an abstract/fantasy concept to me.

I have to agree. I'm noticing too that my social needs are more fulfilled by friendship than they are through romance and sex. This is what I have learned, wish I knew it years ago and didn't waste my time. Friendship is more fulfilling than sex and romance

dating is just too stressful.
I also view romance as just an act of repressed sex now

 

[Squalo]

love doesn't exist, it's only interest based on beauty and money, the rest is a lie.

"you are too short for me.

you don't have enough muscle.

you have little money.

don't have a car? lol

you are poor.

you are not cool."

... and here I'm a virgin at 29.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

love doesn't exist, it's only interest based on beauty and money, the rest is a lie.

"you are too short for me.

you don't have enough muscle.

you have little money.

don't have a car? lol

you are poor.

you are not cool."

... and here I'm a virgin at 29.

yup romance is nothing but looks and money. And repressed sexual desire and interest for procreation

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes. I would rather just be on my own. The idea of one just doesn't appeal to me. Relationships mostly just cause people pain. People are disappointing.

 

[Largeletters]

love doesn't exist, it's only interest based on beauty and money, the rest is a lie.

"you are too short for me.

you don't have enough muscle.

you have little money.

don't have a car? lol

you are poor.

you are not cool."

... and here I'm a virgin at 29.

I definitely relate to that... I'm sorry.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

A lot of people act like you have to live together with a partner. You could just meet once a week and text each other or sum.

The composer Arthur Honegger and his wife, the pianist Andrée Vaurabourg, lived in separate apartments for the duration of their lifelong marriage because Honegger required solitude for composing. She lived with her mother and Honegger visited them for lunch every day, and despite this unusual arrangement, they even had a daughter together. If they could do this in the 20s, it certainly is thinkable today.

 

[Pookie]

I don't think I'm cut out for long-term monogamy and yet I've been in a long-term relationship for many years now. I think I've always known on some level that I'm not suitable for it and it's not fair on my partner. I like to be free and not "owned". Perhaps I'd prefer to be single or maybe have a boyfriend but live apart. Familiarity breeds contempt as they say.

 

[Teas]

I can't think of anyone else but my own suffering

 

[TheYounger]

Well I do, I just haven't been able to keep a relationship these past couple of years mainly due to my depression. Although now that summer is here it's very tempting. The last relationship I was in a couple of months ago really took a toll on me. To the point where I was drinking every night just to keep things interesting with my gf.

I unfortunately cut ties with her. Not only because of my depression but other things as well. She had a bit of a rap sheet. Like she had a lot of partners in the past and stuff. And she was talking to this guy who she had slept with. They would talk like every two weeks. And so, I dipped from that. Who knows? Looking back on it now maybe they were talking as just friends but whatever...

 

[Pookie]

Well I do, I just haven't been able to keep a relationship these past couple of years mainly due to my depression. Although now that summer is here it's very tempting. The last relationship I was in a couple of months ago really took a toll on me. To the point where I was drinking every night just to keep things interesting with my gf.

I unfortunately cut ties with her. Not only because of my depression but other things as well. She had a bit of a rap sheet. Like she had a lot of partners in the past and stuff. And she was talking to this guy who she had slept with. They would talk like every two weeks. And so, I dipped from that. Who knows? Looking back on it now maybe they were talking as just friends but whatever...

Sounds like you did the right thing by cutting ties with her.

 

[inthemoonblue]

I can't even cope with the thought of having to eat my meals with another person every day lol. Actually, make that any interaction with others that involves food. My disordered af brain was meant to be alone.

 

[TheYounger]

Sounds like you did the right thing by cutting ties with her.

You think so? I know she said she wanted a lasting relationship with me. Marriage, kids, home and all that. And the weird thing is she was even willing to cut ties with that guy she was speaking to. She kinda confused me in that at first she called him a best friend then the second time I brought him up she thought of him as like a brother. So I didn't know what to think?

Like how sure are women when they call someone a brother yet have slept with that person in the past? I don't know too much for my thick skull to handle.

But either way the relationship was destined to fail because I just can't right now with my mental state.

 

[Pookie]

You think so? I know she said she wanted a lasting relationship with me. Marriage, kids, home and all that. And the weird thing is she was even willing to cut ties with that guy she was speaking to. She kinda confused me in that at first she called him a best friend then the second time I brought him up she thought of him as like a brother. So I didn't know what to think?

Like how sure are women when they call someone a brother yet have slept with that person in the past? I don't know too much for my thick skull to handle.

But either way the relationship was destined to fail because I just can't right now with my mental state.

Well, you said the last relationship you were in (with her) took a toll on you to the point where you were drinking every night to keep things interesting with your gf. Truly happy people don't feel the need to drink every night, unless you were drinking in moderation. So something must've triggered your drinking.

You also mentioned that she had a lot of partners in her past, so do you mean she was sleeping around a lot?

In my opinion it was rather disrespectful of her to still be talking to a guy that she'd slept with while in a relationship with you (especially if your relationship was relatively fresh.) If she had discussed with you before getting involved with you that she has an ex and that they've remained friends since forever (but no more sexual attraction), then maybe I'd be a bit more forgiving.

How long ago had she been in a sexual relationship with this guy before she got with you? If it was a long time ago I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, but if it was recent she may have still been on the rebound and keeping her options open in case things didn't work out with you.

As for being "brotherly" or "best friends" with an ex, it's entirely possible. I lost attraction to an ex and wanted to remain friends with him but he didn't want to. I know quite a few people who've been platonic friends with their exes for years.

 

[TheYounger]

Well, you said the last relationship you were in (with her) took a toll on you to the point where you were drinking every night to keep things interesting with your gf. Truly happy people don't feel the need to drink every night, unless you were drinking in moderation. So something must've triggered your drinking.

You also mentioned that she had a lot of partners in her past, so do you mean she was sleeping around a lot?

In my opinion it was rather disrespectful of her to still be talking to a guy that she'd slept with while in a relationship with you (especially if your relationship was relatively fresh.) If she had discussed with you before getting involved with you that she has an ex and that they've remained friends since forever (but no more sexual attraction), then maybe I'd be a bit more forgiving.

How long ago had she been in a sexual relationship with this guy before she got with you? If it was a long time ago I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, but if it was recent she may have still been on the rebound and keeping her options open in case things didn't work out with you.

As for being "brotherly" or "best friends" with an ex, it's entirely possible. I lost attraction to an ex and wanted to remain friends with him but he didn't want to. I know quite a few people who've been platonic friends with their exes for years.

Uhh... Yeah. I mean the encounter she had with that guy was like 2 years ago and it was just like a sexual thing with him and his now girlfriend. Basically a threesome. I don't know it's just something about it rubs me the wrong way and it's something that i haven't really been able to put aside. I think it's just the fact about how many threesomes and shit she's been in. For some she may sound like a hella fun girl for me though I'd rather not.

But who knows what the fuck is going through her head. I understand the history that me and this girl had. We dated for about 2-3 years back in high school on and off. She was like my first real girlfriend if that makes sense. Then again I only had like 1 other girlfriend before her and that was a mess of a relationship. But with this girl it was more emotionally attached, I guess you can say?

So, yeah... It's just like it's weird. Because she almost sought me out after like 8 years. So yeah... :)

 

[Pookie]

It's normal for people of both genders to be put off by promiscuous behaviour, so I don't blame you.

Sounds like she could be bi too, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Well, she must've really been into you to seek you out again after 8 years :)

But you said her past bothered you and that's a bad sign. You shouldn't have to deal with knowledge like that scratching your mind with rusty nails all the time. And you're depressed so it's difficult to give a relationship your best shot when you're not feeling yourself. So in my opinion you did the right thing for the both of you.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Romantic Relationships No Thanks, l'd rather stay Single!

 

[Pookie]

Romantic Relationships No Thanks, l'd rather stay Single!

That's because you well and truly are a Lone Wolf :)

 

[LONE WOLF.]

That's because you well and truly are a Lone Wolf :)

You got that right Pookie, Have a lovely day :-)

 

[Pookie]

You got that right Pookie, Have a lovely day :-)

Thank you, same to you :-)

 

[nolongerhuman]

I think I want romantic relationships until someone is actually romantically interested in me and then it immediately becomes a burden I wish to rid myself from as quickly as possible. Perhaps I was meant to be a spinster with cats for company.