Anyone else here soley due to losing an ex

[unloveable27]

I wouldn't want to CTB if I had another girlfriend but it will never happen. The first time was a fluke. I can't wait to CTB this summer. I'm doing it on my birthday since my family will be devastated that day every day anyway

 

[badtoad12314]

Well im here because part of it is indeed that well my last relationship didnt go well at all. Due to quite a few different things happening the person i was dating attempted and I was blamed. I was told i abandoned them Im a hypocrit i didnt help them and that i didnt love them.

 

[Mrs. T-800]

May I ask what happened? How long has it been since you separated? What makes you resort to this?
I don't think your ex is worth your life. Who thinks love will never happen again? Why so?

In a manner of speaking, though, I "lost" a love. It's something I have left comments about before, and you can believe if it's bogus or not, but I had a past life, from 1970 to 1998, and I met the love of my life in 1995. We were inseparable, he was my everything, we had plans for a life and a future together, we were open to a baby. But in July 1998 we were in the car and when going through an intersection, we were hit on my side, and I died. So now I am to live this life without him, and I have found love, but it just hurts. It was preventable. My life was not ready to be ended then. Our love was still so new...

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

No, because people come & go. If one woman was interested in you, there will be others who'll be interested, but it may not happen overnight. I hope you can get to a place where you accept & like yourself, and that you won't base any permanent decisions on temporary people.

 

[DeadnDusted]

Yes because I don't think of people in terms of a role or a number. I feel so aliented because of my worldview as a result. I think it takes a lot of compartmentalization from people to simply just switch up their loved ones like lego pieces and pretend that "this is the one that matters" each time, I cannot keep up a relationship with this amount of delusion and would just be lying to myself and someone else.

I did try dating a few times following standard advice but ended up quickly realizing I only sought a relationship when I was particularly horny, thankfully they were cut short before anything happened or anyone got hurt. While with her I felt a huge sense of devotion even when I got nothing back. As such I'm not really interested in love as a resource or the modern idea of dating. I know I could get love from someone else. But to me it's the person that matters most and she did.

Now as it stands I am fine staying alone by myself and only relying on platonic friendships and stuff for socializing but at the same time theres still the pain from losing her and knowing the life I wanted practically got stolen from me. Plus the trauma from the jealousy of her being intimate with someone else are what make me want to check out.

We both come from a conservative background and were each other's firsts, as such having multiple intimate relations was always on my "never wanna touch this" box as I always had deep seated values of loyalty and I guess I took that to heart to my detriment. I understand people from more liberal backgrounds would find that normal or part of life but it's not something I can simply wrap my head around as it is both primal and tied to my values and identity at this point, and trying to just ditch it made me feel even worse and felt like self betrayal.

 

[unloveable27]

May I ask what happened? How long has it been since you separated? What makes you resort to this?
I don't think your ex is worth your life. Who thinks love will never happen again? Why so?

In a manner of speaking, though, I "lost" a love. It's something I have left comments about before, and you can believe if it's bogus or not, but I had a past life, from 1970 to 1998, and I met the love of my life in 1995. We were inseparable, he was my everything, we had plans for a life and a future together, we were open to a baby. But in July 1998 we were in the car and when going through an intersection, we were hit on my side, and I died. So now I am to live this life without him, and I have found love, but it just hurts. It was preventable. My life was not ready to be ended then. Our love was still so new...

Three years ago now. Meetups, AA, social clubs, volunteering and they're mostly middle aged men and all the women my age are already taken or not interested. I'm too short and ugly for meatgrinder dating apps. Most people on discord seem to be minors. There's nowhere for men like me to find women interested in dating us. They all already have better options on the apps. Why choose me? I'm not blaming women just to be clear, they have no reason to choose me when someone else with all my positive qualities who is also more physically attractive why would they not choose the better option? It'd be the same if the roles were reserved.
But when you know you're going to be alone there's no reason not to just live off disability and never contribute to society because I'll get nothing out of it. I think the apps should be illegal because without them guys like me would still have a chance