Anyone else fear the progress of time this much?

[ILoveCookieCrisp]

I just can't stand it. I've been sinking deeper and deeper into this feeling over the last few months and I just can't stand it anymore. All I can think about these days is just how long its been. How long its been since I met my friends, how long its been since the switch released, how long its been since I was in middle school. I fucking hate it. Whenever I watch a youtube video, unless its literally brand new, the first thing I do is check when it was posted. I feel such immense dread every time I think about it. I hate seeing the number between years get larger and larger. I hate the fact that it will never go back down. Even for things I don't care about, I still fucking experience this. If I saw that some game I've never heard of in my entire life was released a decade ago, I would feel the same way. I can't stop comparing the differences in time between the stupidest fucking things. I feel like trends are already over when they've barely even started. I check google trends so fucking often that I've bookmarked it. The worst part is that there's nothing you can do about it. The nature of reality itself demands that this be the case. I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm so mad at myself for fucking up in May. If I wasn't a fucking retard with the gun, I would have access to it now. I'll just have to deal with feelings this way for the rest of my life until I can get one again. Maybe I'll attempt with a train or something. Idk.