Venting Any 20yo+ virgins?

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

Just wanted to ask in order to see if I'm not alone. I never had a gf and I'm still a virgin while being 19. I hate being shamed on and I'm just frustrated that people around me get ONS/FWB and meanwhile I can't even get a hug.

 

[nosurpries]

i feel u, im 18 and a virgin. i've had one boyfriend but it was a highschool relationship and very complex so it was just never the right time and i really regret never having sex with him because at this point i am so anti social i think the idea of being in a relationship is unrealistic and i will probably never be able to lose my virginity. a coworker of mine would detail her hookups and stuff and it would make me depressed because nobody ever seems to want me. dying a virgin is probably one of my biggest regrets.

 

[chloramine]

Yep. I'm 24. For the record it's not that unusual to have not had sex at your age. Personally it doesn't bother me that much- my friends would never be stupid about it so I don't really experience any peer pressure regarding it. That's not something I'd be ready for unless it was with someone I trusted pretty deeply due to life stuff.

 

[danausplexi]

You're not alone and don't feel ashamed. Studies have shown that the newer generations are having less sex than previous generations.
I would say to focus more on yourself and stop shaming yourself, the more you chase something the more it runs away. Focus more on improving you.

 

[Worndown]

There has always been a greater perception of people having sex than there are people having sex. For most it never has been easy to find the right or "right for the moment" person.
There are "dating" sites that can make finding someone much faster if that is your goal. A swipe left or a swipe right.

 

[chocolatebar]

It's much more common than you think. One thing that I learned is that people talk much more about sex than they actually do it. I know a good amount of people from different generations who first had sex much older than their peers. Again, it's quite common and not something to be worried about.

I can understand (lack of) sex being a main source of distress ( I know by my own experience), but remember that it's just a single aspect of life, which can be represented as a full circular continuum. The people who actually enjoy being alive manage, somehow, to find balance between the multiple aspects of this continuum.

 

[Hollowmon]

I'm 22 and I'm going to die a kissless virgin. It's another aspect of the world I'm not a part of.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I remember staying a virgin way too long and creating a tremendous amount of anxiety around it… In retrospect I should've just lost my virginity to pretty much anybody in order to get it over with… Things became a lot easier once I did…

 

[Superdeterminist]

Yep, 25. What I hate is being in a group of people and they all start talking about their experiences, while I have nothing to say, it makes me feel terrible.

 

[Sans]

I'm 20 and a virgin. I've told myself in the past that I'd CTB if I was still a virgin at 30, then revised it to 25. I don't know if I'm going to keep that promise, revise that number again, or just CTB when I feel like it.

 

[AloneInCollege]

20 years old. Never even been on a date, tried dating apps multiple times and never had any luck, got very few matches, all of whom sucked at messaging

 

[Pallf]

5 more years until I become a wizard. I guess I would actually be a witch, but I prefer wizard.
Never had a kiss, never been on a date, certainly no sex.
I'm fat, ugly, dumb, just a trifecta of what makes a personal unattractive.
I've come to terms with that. It still hurts but what can you do?

 

[Mokocchi]

Adult KHHV by way of autism, ugliness and ethnic minority death combo here. I'm only happy when I Maladaptive Daydream about being someone people actually like.
It's the best when people everywhere say that virginity doesn't matter then when you become an enemy they reveal their quiver and it's just 30 copies of "Lol U Virgin"
I've never had friends either but that's a whole new level of loserdom most can't fathom.

 

[Pallf]

Adult KHHV by way of autism, ugliness and ethnic minority death combo here. I'm only happy when I Maladaptive Daydream about being someone people actually like.
It's the best when people everywhere say that virginity doesn't matter then when you become an enemy they reveal their quiver and it's just 30 copies of "Lol U Virgin"
I've never had friends either but that's a whole new level of loserdom most can't fathom.

I'm an ethnic minority with ADHD. Not exactly the same but I can kinda understand the struggle.

 

[picklemick]

Sex is probably one of the best things about this life

 

[CharlieBrown]

Almost 40 year old KHHV (Kissless, Hugless, Handholdless Virgin). It's not something I personally want to change but I have great empathy for those who are lonely and seeking that connection and unable to find it.

 

[Eternal🌈Rainbow]

22 and not even had a kiss. It doesn't bother me.. too much. I mean, nowadays and for the past half year, it's been the last of my concerns. I don't care at all. I have so much going on in my life.
Before? I did care. But since I'm too shy and I think I'm actually kind of scared of all those things... I just accepted it and went with the flow of life and time.

Though.. from time to time I do think about it and get sad, "I'm going to die without having experienced romantic love and a boyfriend". It's not much about the sex part for me, but the romantic one. I've always dreamed about my prince charming and a fairytale love story but I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic and I won't get that.

Sigh...

 

[Suicideorgy]

Yup, 32 kissless, never even had a gf, hell, never even went on a date. I have far far to much social anxiety to make any of that sound like fun. A date honestly sounds stressful.

I dont feel bad about it. If I wanted sex I could get a hooker anytime. I just dont. I used to feel bad but its kinda normal now.

 

[The Abyss]

36 kissless virgin, some attempts but just didn't work out. Not that you can open up about such things though as it's a big joke to ppl.

 

[savoytruffle]

Yup, but kinda by choice, I wasn't ever interested in anybody, no crushes or anything, ive been trying to figure out what asexualism is since my libido is normal, I just don't have any interest in getting groovy with anybody else. One aspect of this life I'm very relieved with

 

[lofticries]

Virgin due to low self-esteem but also fear of pregnancy and stds.

I don't know how ppl have a lot of sexual partners. Seems like playing Russian roulette.

Really wish I was asexual and aromantic instead of just being half assed aromantic.

Or least lesbian so I could at least bypass any possibility of pregnancy and hiv/aids.

Sex isn't exactly a must but it's something I'd like to experience at least once.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, but to me the thought of any relationships is horrifying. I have no interest in any of this. The human body is designed to torture people and it is not attractive at all. Sex can lead to humans being brought into this world which just means more unnecessary suffering that will be experienced. It is awful how life is even a thing in the first place.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

i don't know what it is, my personality or genes, but something is off about me to the point of me never having had a female friend even. majority of teens have had sex by 18, i can't even get one to talk to me for a prolonged period. it's shaming, i cut off my friends partially for this reason. for some reason they were able to have girls ask them out. i don't understand how romance or dating works

 

[Ligottian]

62. I may be in the one percent.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Late 20's and yep, not even a kiss or hug. To be fair, I don't think I have the energy or interest for a romantic relationship, but, it would be nice to know that someone could see me in that light. I'm fat, and unattractive, and while it's never bothered me much, it deters other people from making the effort to get to know me.

The only time I was ever asked out, all the way back in high school, was as a joke. So...that stings, to be so unlovable that the mere thought of dating me is a laughable one.

 

[peanuts]

27yo here. Asexual, sex averse. It ain't happening.

 

[eternalflame]

31 years old. Don't really want children, toxic family and stuff.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I was on another forum that I lurk and I was reading this thread and while I don't remember the topic I remember one of the posters, possibly the OP going, "yeah I lost my virginity at 18 so I was a bit of a late bloomer" - I can't believe age 18 is what constitutes a late bloomer!

 

[HappyForever?]

Soon to be 20 and yes. And if I don't get extremely lucky it will probably stay this way.

 

[runningdownthathill]

[waves] Hi! 26 and quite the virgin; never even been kissed! I can at least say it was partially by choice, since I never really had an interest in sex or dating, but I don't think I could find a date or a SO at this stage in my life. It wouldn't be right to inflict myself on anyone anyway. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin at any age, and it sucks a lot that society views sex and romance as the be all end all of social relationships, but I do understand the loneliness and how you can feel unlovable somehow if you've never had those things.