Discussion An Understanding Partner... Is It Possible?

[Skullinthewoods]

I'm quite curious, as someone who will be leaving a loving partner behind if I CTB, has anyone ever experienced a loved one understanding or even supporting your decision to leave?

It seems folks like us must always do this in secret, and when others hear they try to talk us out, guilt us or stop us regardless of how painful it is to continue.

But I wonder... is there such a thing as someone who can love us, and let us go? Or to be glad we are not suffering anymore?

I don't think I'll ever CTB without my partner's understanding and they'll be aware well in advance. I would rather let them know, help them prepare and be relieved to hear they can go on without me knowing it wasn't their fault. I'd rather that than flee into the void unexpectedly.

I also worry about them getting the blame for what happened or being hounded by my family. So much of my leaving plan would be making sure they knew exactly why I did what I did and making sure my SO didn't bear the burden of my death.

If only I could see that things would be ok after I'm gone.

Just a thought.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess it depends on whether your partner recognises the pain you are in. It's probably more obvious to them when it's physical illness.

My Mum didn't commit suicide but she was suffering and dying of cancer. The doctor told my Dad that they were prepared to administer heroin. The doctor said she would go out in a 'blaze of glory.' (This was decades ago- so- I don't think they could get in trouble and I'd be utterly sickened if they did- it was a very brave act of mercy on the doctors part.) My Dad agreed though. If you truly love someone- why would you watch them go on and on in agony?

That's the problem though isn't it? If the pain isn't visible- if it's mental- it's much harder to see and even diagnose. I suspect people who are still functioning on the outside but at their wits end within probably try to conceal it. If it's depression and ideation which can go on for years- they may not have a definite plan for some time. It must be very hard deciding what and how much to share with a partner.

 

[MideonNViscera]

I think it's possible. I have an ex partner who when she hears the news, will almost certainly understand.

I think time is a factor. Nobody is likely to be understanding right away, but as time wears on and you are worn down, so are they. I suppose I am referring more to acceptance than understanding, but they're fairly intertwined.

 

[Rational man]

I know several people who ctb, mostly young men and some clients. My grandfather who gassed himself ctb because of his unhappy marriage. My Father attempted ctb to escape the world. These cases were a shock to everyone, at least in public. There is one question i ask about human's capability in understanding people's motives?. I think life is hard and cold so im in no position to judge anyone and in my case, i wouldn't expect anyone including loved ones.to understand me.

 

[sincerelysad]

my partner used to and pretended to support me but over time he just uses it against me and has become extremely abusive. i am wary of people irl who claim to support/understand because i feel like they're all just lying to get me to trust them so that they can hurt me. i don't talk about it anymore, ever.