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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
I've been suffering from various things for years. It's been debilitating and awful, but it feels right. I've learned somehow to kind of enjoy my hell. It's wearing on me though.
 
  • Love
Reactions: nekrocis
phrog21

phrog21

Member
Apr 14, 2023
9
sometimes i do feel this way and then i remember things before suffering when i was really little. i didnt have anything fucked up happen to me as a kid so im really lucky. i do think i was unempathetic towards people going through hardship before experiencing it myself, so thats a plus
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
sometimes i do feel this way and then i remember things before suffering when i was really little. i didnt have anything fucked up happen to me as a kid so im really lucky. i do think i was unempathetic towards people going through hardship before experiencing it myself, so thats a plus
Yeah suffering taught me to understand others a bit better.
 
nekrocis

nekrocis

blodrött hav
Apr 17, 2023
2
i feel this. when things feel too normal or stable i seek something to hurt me again or drag me down. the feeling is almost comforting until it becomes too much to bare at times and puts me in a dark place
 
SilentSadness

SilentSadness

In somewhere else
Feb 28, 2023
1,553
After having experienced so much toxic positivity, I have lost trust in positive statements. To me, suffering and the truth are so much more reliable, and it's comforting to think about something without the risk of it being a lie. I also discovered that every time I convinced myself it's better to be positive, even for a very short amount of time, the inevitable realisation of the truth would crash down upon me and make me suffer more intensely than before. I don't want positivity or suffering, I just want death. I hope your situation improves.
 
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Reactions: AnnonyBox and Ambivalent1
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
After having experienced so much toxic positivity, I have lost trust in positive statements. To me, suffering and the truth are so much more reliable, and it's comforting to think about something without the risk of it being a lie. I also discovered that every time I convinced myself it's better to be positive, even for a very short amount of time, the inevitable realisation of the truth would crash down upon me and make me suffer more intensely than before. I don't want positivity or suffering, I just want death. I hope your situation improves.
Life is suffering. Buddha was right. Too bad the eightfold path doesn't seem like much of a solution.
 
AnnonyBox

AnnonyBox

Specialist
Apr 11, 2018
336
After having experienced so much toxic positivity, I have lost trust in positive statements. To me, suffering and the truth are so much more reliable, and it's comforting to think about something without the risk of it being a lie. I also discovered that every time I convinced myself it's better to be positive, even for a very short amount of time, the inevitable realisation of the truth would crash down upon me and make me suffer more intensely than before. I don't want positivity or suffering, I just want death. I hope your situation improves.
Same. This feels almost as if I had written it.
 
E

endless_pain

Student
Apr 16, 2023
136
Having suffered from childhood abuse, I have discovered it's a trauma bond and it feels like the same for me. Like we are addicted to experience only sufference and when something good happens we look out for the danger being in this constant flight or fight mode :(
 
RoundaboutResolved

RoundaboutResolved

Stuck in a roundabout with no exits!
Apr 5, 2023
820
Human beings can eventually adapt to most anything. Doesn't mean its good for us, usually the opposite actually. But there ya go.
 

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