Venting Afraid of Dying

[ElegantlyWasted]

Thinking about how I'm planning to ctb soon. Could be a few days or a few weeks not sure yet. But Im still scared of actually dying. First I'm still worried about the pain. I don't know how painful sn is going to be in the 10-15 I would be conscious or how my body would react to it. Then the thought of not existing still terrifies me sometimes like it's hard for me to fathom not having consciousness in such a short time. It's harder when I know for about two days exactly when my life is going to end. What can I do to ease these anxieties?

 

[yive]

i'm in the same situation.

hmm... a few realizations can help:
death is inevitable.
the pain that your method will cause you will definitely be less than the pain that your future life will bring.
dying ahead of schedule, we avoid old age, painful illnesses and vain trials in life etc.

the choice is yours, of course

 

[VainVanity]

It's totally normal for you to feel this anxiety. Whatever choice you make, make sure it is well thought out. And as previously stated, this cessation of being...lack of consciousness...DEATH...is something that would have to be experienced at some point anyways. Don't fear it. This is your life and your body. If you've decided you've had enough, then that is your choice.

 

[sadworld]

Death is like sleeping and I love sleeping! By the way, I like your Elfenlied profile picture

 

[yive]

also, a simple and interesting way to self-test for readiness:
if you were given the opportunity to painlessly die in your sleep in the near future (you would not know exactly when you will die... but let's say within a month), would you agree?

or
would you like to go to bed some day and never wake up again?

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Death is like sleeping and I love sleeping

How do you know?
Biologically death is completely different to sleeping, the two have little in common.

 

[ElegantlyWasted]

It's totally normal for you to feel this anxiety. Whatever choice you make, make sure it is well thought out. And as previously stated, this cessation of being...lack of consciousness...DEATH...is something that would have to be experienced at some point anyways. Don't fear it. This is your life and your body. If you've decided you've had enough, then that is your choice.

I know it's just wrapping my head around it so close in the future especially in the last moments where I drink it. I think about how I'm going to experience the drink go down my throat but 15 minutes later I won't remember that ever happened or anything in my entire existence idk I'm just worrried how scared id be in the last moments even just thinking on the last day I'm alive I'll have some dread and idk how to calm that down.

 

[I screwed up]

Its a feeling we all will have to go thru brother. I plan to have some benzo to help me overcome the anxiety

 

[Sakura94]

Sounds like you had a few doubts, like you still value being conscious/alive in some way (because being conscious is to be alive) so you might have a chance at recovery if you can figure out what it is you value. You don't have to ignore your anxieties because they are there for a reason.
Also I loved that anime, didn't enjoy the manga as much. :)

 

[Shotgunjohn]

i'm in the same situation.

hmm... a few realizations can help:
death is inevitable.
the pain that your method will cause you will definitely be less than the pain that your future life will bring.
dying ahead of schedule, we avoid old age, painful illnesses and vain trials in life etc.

the choice is yours, of course

this is very well said




now if you are having all these fears maybe death isnt what you truly want? maybe there is still some hope that you have. think about it dont rush into anything

 

[ElegantlyWasted]

Sounds like you had a few doubts, like you still value being conscious/alive in some way (because being conscious is to be alive) so you might have a chance at recovery if you can figure out what it is you value. You don't have to ignore your anxieties because they are there for a reason.
Also I loved that anime, didn't enjoy the manga as much. :)

I feel I might enjoy living if I was a different person and or was living in a different time period, but stress over my life currently is getting to the point of unbearable. But if I get the same end result no matter what dying doesn't sound so bad but knowing my end would be so near is what scares me.

 

[Sakura94]

Yeah I'm the same way. But I'd have to have the memories of this one in order to value the new one probably.
You sure it will always be the same result? Time can change things.

 

[lonerclown666]

Same but all the pain will be finally over with the eternal sleep

 

[ElegantlyWasted]

Yeah I'm the same way. But I'd have to have the memories of this one in order to value the new one probably.
You sure it will always be the same result? Time can change things.

Yeah but it's more likely that it will keep getting worse for me and then I would rather die now than be in the future.

 

[Sakura94]

I think things seem to get worse every year. It's like a carefully crafted hell. I keep hoping things will change.