What’s keeping you going right now?

[HereIGoAgain24]

The most concrete thing is imagining my family's reaction. I know my parents and brothers love me, and I just... don't want to put them through that. They already know I was in a suicide pact once.

 

[vampire2002]

- i want to see the end of my favorite manga get published
- i want to finish making my own video game
- i want to sew a specific dress to ctb in
- not wanting to leave my kitty
- my boyfriend, above all else, i'm trying very hard to stay bc i know it would absolutely destroy my bf

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

-Sonic x Shadow Generations, which comes out in less than a month.
-The Sonic 3 movie, which comes out in less than 3 months.
-Pokémon Legends: Z-A, though nothing's really been shown yet so if they can hold off on announcing anything about it I might be able to CTB before then.
-I'm still under a mild delusion that maybe if I just wait long enough everything will magically fix itself without me having to put in any extra effort because living is already too much effort for me but I've been lucky before in some aspects.

 

[Deleted member 94706]

1. pain
2. fear of failing and being sent to a mental hospital and also my parents being incredibly pissed at me
3. fear of failing and getting brain damage or a permanent injury
4. fear that god somehow actually exist and that i will burn in hell for all eternity

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

Good question, I don't know the answer.

 

[kat6]

My pets. They're the best. At my lowest, when I can't bring myself to care about anything, I still love and care about them with all I got. I can't ever hurt them, and I'm all they have. So I keep going for them.

It's strange. I'm sitting here on the couch reading through ctb threads, and my cat is just on my lap, purring, perfectly present, loving the moment. I wish I could be more like them.

 

[steppenwolf]

Vodka.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

My Friends and family. The few happy moments I have with them. The fact that I feel somewhat better in the evening. The pain of ctb and SI. I'm pretty sure I won't do it and survive this hell.

 

[Someplace_nice]

I understand bc I felt the same after my husband took me home with him after I got out of hospital. Before he was something to fight for but it was hard bc he was never there, just on a phone call and some messages. When I went to his house I had nothing there to ctb with and I so desperately wanted to I had already fucked up my nerves with my ctb attempt so I thought it could be the perfect time, I thought that if I could get my hand on some Benadryl I'll be out, but he was there and just the touch of his hand would wipe those thought away. It took a lot of time but I don't hardly think of ctb but I still fight the urges to ctb and sh. When you have something/someone to fight for dog your claws in and don't lie to them. It's better if you tell them the truth and maybe they can help you through the hard times. Just be cautious of who you tell unless you think the hospital is a good place for you. I've never really had too bad of times there but ik there are some horrible one out there.