About SN and pain

[Dante_]

I think you're reading way into me asking a simple question, which wasn't directed at you btw. No where in my messages implied judgement, remarks or scrutiny. I have also failed an attempt and have happily answered questions people on this forum are by nature curious about. I don't care if I'm a cautionary tale to others if it can give them perspective on what to do, not to do, to expect and not to expect.

That is the problem once again, as you missed it but im not surprised, I said nothing about it being directed at me but made reference to the fact that you asked me the same question just a few days ago, which is odd that you're here asking someone else the same question about what made it fail and you think using fail is just fine to ask, its interesting you mention your own attempts but would you be fine with it being questioned as a fail just because? Dont expect others to be just because you do ask.

 

[fightclub17]

That is the problem once again, as you missed it but im not surprised, I said nothing about it being directed at me but made reference to the fact that you asked me the same question just a few days ago, which is odd that you're here asking someone else the same question about what made it fail and you think using fail is just fine to ask, its interesting you mention your own attempts but would you be fine with it being questioned as a fail? Dont expect others to be just because you do ask.

Mate. I already corrected myself and said unsuccessful* I meant no offence by using the word 'fail'. It's how many people describe an unsuccessful attempt. And this conversation is starting to feel abit like keyboard warriour-ing. I don't know what you want from me. Sorry.

 

[existentiallinguine]

Can we please just chill? A lot of people were genuinely interested in the questions being asked about this method and I am really confused how this spiraled into an argument about syntax. All respect.

 

[Dante_]

Mate. I already corrected myself and said unsuccessful* I meant no offence by using the word 'fail'. It's how many people describe an unsuccessful attempt. And this conversation is starting to feel abit like keyboard warriour-ing. I don't know what you want from me. Sorry.

It may unintentionally demean the person's experience as though they failed themselves and its their fault even if no offense is particularly meant since people do compare and subject people to questions which do verge into some form of judgment. None of it is keyboard warrioring, im just making my point and responding in kind.

 

[meddle]

Glad you're okay. I went through your messages to see if I could find your SN story. What made it fail?

i took 2 g instead of 25. because i got too scared and tried to trick myself with "im not going to ctb today, ill just try a little". russian roulette, sort of. anything to make me take it

and thats why the process took much longer. my father came home from work, called an ambulance and they took me to the icu

so after my experience i think that 25 g is an overkill. next time i would take something like 10 g

 

[existentiallinguine]

Ok i am going to just ask questions before this becomes completely derailed, since I am attempting this in a few days and need information.

For those who have survived SN and mention the headache as the most pain, what would you describe that pain as in terms of scale and feeling? I've read a couple of threads that make it out to be unbearable, burning pain, others where it's really manageable until their SI kicked in. Just trying to figure out what I'm in for here. Also will you see your own skin turn blue if following protocol (around 25g) or will you pass out beforehand? I worry the turning blue will trigger heavy SI. Thank you to anyone who takes the time in answering my questions and all the best to you.

 

[fightclub17]

i took 2 g instead of 25. because i got too scared and tried to trick myself with "im not going to ctb today, ill just try a little". russian roulette, sort of. anything to make me take it

and thats why the process took much longer. my father came home from work, called an ambulance and they took me to the icu

so after my experience i think that 25 g is an overkill. next time i would take something like 10 g

Thank you for your reply. I hope you didn't experience too many consequences and recovered well

It's crazy to think 2g is that damaging!

 

[meddle]

Ok i am going to just ask questions before this becomes completely derailed, since I am attempting this in a few days and need information.

For those who have survived SN and mention the headache as the most pain, what would you describe that pain as in terms of scale and feeling? I've read a couple of threads that make it out to be unbearable, burning pain, others where it's really manageable until their SI kicked in. Just trying to figure out what I'm in for here. Also will you see your own skin turn blue if following protocol (around 25g) or will you pass out beforehand? I worry the turning blue will trigger heavy SI. Thank you to anyone who takes the time in answering my questions and all the best to you.

i dont actually remember that i felt headache. just dizziness and weakness. and also my fingers became cold and numb and it was very hard to use my phone. and i saw my nails turning blue. took a photo of my gray face too

 

[existentiallinguine]

i dont actually remember that i felt headache. just dizziness and weakness. and also my fingers became cold and numb and it was very hard to use my phone. and i saw my nails turning blue. took a photo of my gray face too

I attempted an overdose on a mix of antidepressants and hydroxyzine years ago as a teenager and saw my face turn that gray/paper white. I know exactly what you're talking about. Was hoping to hear I'd be out before then, but it looks like not. Thank you so much for answering my question. I sincerely hope you feel better.

 

[meddle]

Thank you for your reply. I hope you didn't experience too many consequences and recovered well

yeah, its totally fine! like when the methemoglobinemia was cured, i had zero other problems. i was the healthiest patient in the icu, hahaha. like there were people with kidney failtures, with chemical burns of esophagus and stomach, etc... and me with zero health conditions, hahaha. well maybe only my memory got a little bit worse. otherwise - no consequences

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

I didn't avoid it. As soon as I ingested it, I regretted it massively, and there was nothing I could do. I just sat on the bathroom floor knowing I was going to die.

It feels like you handled it very well IMO. I'm just picturing me trying it here and I'd just run and scream for help or something like that. I hope I can work around this by drugging me with some strong and high sedative dosage before ingesting the thing.

 

[Kayla]

It feels like you handled it very well IMO. I'm just picturing me trying it here and I'd just run and scream for help or something like that. I hope I can work around this by drugging me with some strong and high sedative dosage before ingesting the thing.

The thing is, I already had help there. I took sn in front of the police with an ambulance outside. But they took me to the hospital, and I had a cardiac arrest and was dead for 25 minutes until they got me back.

 

[meddle]

I attempted an overdose on a mix of antidepressants and hydroxyzine years ago as a teenager and saw my face turn that gray/paper white. I know exactly what you're talking about. Was hoping to hear I'd be out before then, but it looks like not. Thank you so much for answering my question. I sincerely hope you feel better.

yeah, you probably will see yourself turning gray and blue

thanks! im not feeling really great (well, im in this forum after all, haha), but a little bit better. at least im not planing to ctb. glad that my experience can help someone to decide, even a little bit

hope that you will feel beter and wont ctb. or if you will, the process wont be painful and scary

 

[fightclub17]

yeah, its totally fine! like when the methemoglobinemia was cured, i had zero other problems. i was the healthiest patient in the icu, hahaha. like there were people with kidney failtures, with chemical burns of esophagus and stomach, etc... and me with zero health conditions, hahaha. well maybe only my memory got a little bit worse. otherwise - no consequences

Hahaha that's hilarious and reassuring to know. My attempt has destroyed my body so the last thing I want is to damage it further. I would gladly take amnesia as that might actually be my cure lol just kidding. Is it longterm or shorterm memory that's worse?

 

[meddle]

Hahaha that's hilarious and reassuring to know. My attempt has destroyed my body so the last thing I want is to damage it further. I would gladly take amnesia as that might actually be my cure lol just kidding. Is it longterm or shorterm memory that's worse?

yeah, its so devastating, when, after surviving an attempt, a person is left with all their problems, plus health problems what did you tried to do with yourself? you dont have to answer ofc

i cant even say for sure, i always had kind of bad memory. i would say my long term memory got worse. and i have been told that by others. because its kinda even harder to remember some facts, i mean when they arent really significant. often occurs a situation, when someone tells me about our common experience (i mean some situation, which we have lived through together), and im like "wait, what? i dont remember that at all"

 

[fightclub17]

yeah, its so devastating, when, after surviving an attempt, a person is left with all their problems, plus health problems what did you tried to do with yourself? you dont have to answer ofc

i cant even say for sure, i always had kind of bad memory. i would say my long term memory got worse. and i have been told that by others. because its kinda even harder to remember some facts, i mean when they arent really significant. often occurs a situation, when someone tells me about our common experience (i mean some situation, which we have lived through together), and im like "wait, what? i dont remember that at all"

It's most devastating. I feel like such an idiot, I jumped 8 stories and have life altering injuries. I didn't expect to survive and this is hard to come back from. With SN or other methods you can bounce back into normal life more easily and no one would know. My trauma will be visible for the rest of my life

I'm glad to hear you've recovered so well (despite long term memory loss) and I hope you got support from family and friends during your recovery.

 

[meddle]

It's most devastating. I feel like such an idiot, I jumped 8 stories and have life altering injuries. I didn't expect to survive and this is hard to come back from. With SN or other methods you can bounce back into normal life more easily and no one would know. My trauma will be visible for the rest of my life

I'm glad to hear you've recovered so well (despite long term memory loss) and I hope you got support from family and friends during your recovery.

oh, thats horrible jumping is such scary and uncertain method im so sorry you had to survive this

thank you! yeah, i have support of my close ones, it helps

 

[gardenhouse]

Hi everyone.
I live in Brazil, and here its extremely easy to buy SN.
I bought one week ago 1kg of SN from a well know chemicals online market for like 20 dollars.
But i dont have benzos or antiemetics or things like this, just the SN.
I just wanna know if its a very painful method to go, or its painless?
I dont care about the discomfort and a little pain.
I just want it to be 100% sure that I'll die and its not extremely painful.
About the vomit: I never vomited in my life and I dont think it will make me do it.


Sorry about the bad english.

I think that's why PPH book highly recommend antiemetics so that you aren't going to vomit it, and make sure you are unconscious from benzos. I know it's so hard to get without prescription. And the quantity needed is high for benzos.

 

[lpdsvm]

I really doubt that not following any protocol will reduce the chances that significantly. It will all be fast (it can also be slow even everything is done perfectly; it depends on the body and the quality of SN). But avoiding eating will help because it will be vomited anyway and it's unpleasant - not just water. I sometimes vomit when I get sick. I don't have those medications and I don't feel like I need them anyway. SN is far more important. I don't want to care much about that. I would really want to get drunk though. I am sure it will work but it will be vomited and alcohol is a poison so it might make me feel worse.