Story A Worried Souls’ Manifesto 4: Infiltrating the Future

[SatinSoul]

— A Serialized Story written by SatinSoul —

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NOTE: This is not a manual, a treatment plan, or professional medical advice. I am not a doctor. This is my personal raw, unfiltered, ongoing soul-searching story. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't.

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A WORRIED SOULS' MANIFESTO
Chapter 4: Infiltrating the Future​

If the Blood Covenant was a contract for my expiration, then every day I spend breathing now is a covert operation. I am Infiltrating the Future. I wasn't supposed to be here; the blueprints for my life ended years ago. Every sunset I watch, every nice moment I steal, is a piece of contraband I've smuggled back into my hole.

The biggest lie the shitty therapist or the optimistic mom tells us is that healing means getting over it. They want us to burn the old chapters and pretend the tragedy never happened. But that's not how depression works. I'm not leaving the trauma behind. I am simply realizing that the story of my life has more than one chapter, and I am finally the one holding the pen.

I'm not erasing the misery; I'm Expanding the Map.

My history isn't a weight I have to drop to fly; it's a set of credentials. I still know the way to the bottom. I can recite my self-hatred and misery in my sleep; I know the dark better than I know the back of my own hand. I am a veteran of a war that most people can't even imagine. But being a VIP in the misery resort doesn't mean I am forbidden from taking a vacation in other places. My scars don't bar me from progress. No, they are the very things that prove I've earned the right to achieve it.

But let's be real: the infiltration is hard work. Sometimes the remnants of my misery get loud. Sometimes the old ideals start screaming that I'm a traitor again. There are days when I fall back into the old habits, when the familiar cage of pain feels more free than the terrifying, wide-open unknown does.

When that happens, the old shame tries to tell me I've failed. It tries to tell me the happiness was a fluke and I'm back where i belong.

That isn't failure. It's just the reorienting of the soul.

When you've lived in a cage for many years, the open air feels like a threat. When you've been forged in a furnace, the breeze feels like a lie. I am a two-world citizen now. I am allowed to have phases. I am allowed to visit the dark as long as I remember that I don't live there anymore.

I am infiltrating a life I was never supposed to have, and I'm taking as much happiness as I can carry.

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NAVIGATION
☜︎ Prior Chapter | Next Chapter ☞︎

THE COMPLETE MANIFESTO
1. Annual Breach of Contract
2. Pain is the Only Truth
3. Dissonance of Love
4. Infiltrating the Future
5. The Living Memorial

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Note: These chapters are being released on a staggered schedule (every 2 hours to prevent flooding). If a link below isn't active yet, check back shortly. Story split into separate threads to prevent a wall of text.
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