juneisdoomed
paranoia is a disease unto itself
- Mar 23, 2026
- 11
i think it's worth talking about something that's been helping me recently. over the years, i've gotten into and faded out of countless hobbies that i participated in just to distract myself from my suicidal thoughts. but lately, i've been writing poetry about it. and i think it's a hobby that will stick.
i think what makes it so impactful for me is being able to write down my thoughts without having to conceal any of them. i can make the meaning as vague or as straightforward as i'd like. it feels like i'm actually getting something done coping-wise rather than just doing something to distract myself. that's more than likely why things i tried in the past didn't stick; i was only doing them as a way to separate myself from my thoughts.
i'm not a poet by any means. i don't think i'm good at writing at all, to be honest. but it helps. i've been doing strictly freeform poetry because i feel that it gives me more freedom. poetry doesn't judge or force you to water down what you want to say. and i think that's wonderful.
this poem is untitled
Chill air whispers across my skin
As a steady hand
Prepares to carve
Not a hand of my own, it seems
But a hand of the me
That I had forsaken
The me
That I had hoped
Would never return
Not me,
Not anymore
My breath hitches in my throat
The sound of ripping flesh
Hisses into my ear
Blood begins to well
I smile
It smiles back
i think what makes it so impactful for me is being able to write down my thoughts without having to conceal any of them. i can make the meaning as vague or as straightforward as i'd like. it feels like i'm actually getting something done coping-wise rather than just doing something to distract myself. that's more than likely why things i tried in the past didn't stick; i was only doing them as a way to separate myself from my thoughts.
i'm not a poet by any means. i don't think i'm good at writing at all, to be honest. but it helps. i've been doing strictly freeform poetry because i feel that it gives me more freedom. poetry doesn't judge or force you to water down what you want to say. and i think that's wonderful.
this poem is untitled
Chill air whispers across my skin
As a steady hand
Prepares to carve
Not a hand of my own, it seems
But a hand of the me
That I had forsaken
The me
That I had hoped
Would never return
Not me,
Not anymore
My breath hitches in my throat
The sound of ripping flesh
Hisses into my ear
Blood begins to well
I smile
It smiles back