Help Would you take the chance to find some peace even though you'd ctb eventually anyways?

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I'm having genuine doubt for the first time in my life because of another person and I'm not sure what to do. I'd like to hear what other people would choose and why.

 

[rikamonie]

if i could have a chance at being back with the person i love so that i could continue living id definitely do it, even though i know in the end id CTB bc i dont want to die of old age or something painful but i still want to live a full and happy life until then, i really dont want to die unhappy and young having not achieved anything in life

 

[GiveMePeace]

I would say take the chance. For me I've always felt like my desire to CTB gave me a safety net of sorts. As in, if whatever I'm giving a go doesn't work out I can still CTB and I'll be able to do it knowing I truly gave life my all.
I'm guessing you have a new person in your life who makes you want to hang on. So why not do it? If things go well, who knows where you'll end up, but if it doesn't go well you'll at least won't have regrets and that terrible "what if" hanging over you. The fear of it failing shouldn't stop you from trying (I know that's an easy thing for an outsider to say). Plus I think it's really important to take doubt seriously. Once it's over it's over, there is no going back.
.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Definitely take the chance. What if your life gets better, and you can be one of those people who enjoy it?

 

[Abgrundanziehung]

That's exactly where I've been at for years now. It's been more than a decade now of just trying to make my life as bearable as possible for as long as possible. It would put a huge burden on a few people right now if I were to go. I'm always planning ahead and have a sort of checklist in my head of things that need to be worked out first in order to make it so that the people I leave behind can move on as easily as possible. It can be worth waiting even if you still leave them in the end. I want people to know that I took everyone else into consideration before I went.

 

[nooo2]

I'm kind of going back and forth with this peace choice as well, I was supposed to end things somewhere last year, but this year has been kind of good for me. I realized that depression makes things really hard to see, it's pretty much irrational and somehow I managed to see some things in a positive light, so right now I'm just giving life a little try, but I know that eventually I'm going to end my life, if not this year and for sure next. But if you're even thinking of giving it a go, definitely try and go for it, and if it doesn't work you can always opt out.

 

[Bct]

Take it if you want to go for it, hopefully you're getting better. If it's a failure, I wish there is no repercussions & you can also CTB if everything doesn't work.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Whether you've got one week left or twenty years, it seems to make sense to make that time as fulfilling as possible. Put in your all. There's little to lose

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Thank you for the encouraging replies but it doesn't seem like I can convince myself that there is any option other than suicide. If my problems were only related to something more simple like loneliness then I wouldn't be ending my life in the first place.

I'm too disabled to work and there really aren't any benefits for people like me to exist much less thrive. I live in constant physical and mental pain which will always be lifelong. Any decent treatment is behind a paywall that I can't afford anyways and I have enough other problems as well.

 

[MorticiasHair]

I'm having genuine doubt for the first time in my life because of another person and I'm not sure what to do. I'd like to hear what other people would choose and why.

f'k yeah man, take the chance and (try to) enjoy your life