Would you kill yourself over a girl?

[WasGehtnAb?]

I no longer have her on whatsapp or any social medias, this happened when we were still "hanging out", I guess she took that photo just to finally vanish me from her life asap. A few days later she deleted me on whatsapp and then I asked her why and she said she was dating another guy and don't wanna have any contact with me anymore.

You probably know this but you should avoid to contact her too. Everything is said, everything else will be contraproductive.

Call your friends and meet with them. Every social contact is better than thinking 24/7 about her,

 

[suicidesheep31]

for me... yes

I would kill myself for a boy

 

[fixitinpost]

More actually. It's easier for women to cheat.

A key that can open any lock is priceless. A lock that opens to any key is worthless.

Men have a key (hey we all know how hard it is to pull, right), women are the lock (they can get it any day any time any place just by making it available).

There - now that's a good dose of counter-sexism, just to balance the books of this thread.

Haha, thanks for the very vivid analogy!

I'd say that depends very much on age also.

(I'm going to preface this by saying that I hope no one takes offense - it certainly isn't meant)

I think it's been established well enough that - in general - through the eyes of the opposite sex, women's attractiveness tend to peak early and decrease with age, whereas men tend to start off lower and peak much later. So up to a certain age (maybe 35 or so, this is highly unscientific lol), yeah, the average woman has far more options than the average man of the same age. But once we get into, say, the 40s, I'd say the lines have crossed and it's the man who has the most options.

@Steamm As much as it hurts, she inadvertently did you a favor by wanting to cut contact. The alternative would hurt so much more, and you would be unable to start healing.

I was in that situation with my ex this summer. She dumped me, and as I was sleeping on my sister's couch trying to figure out where I was gonna live now, she kept reaching out, texted hearts, told me she missed me, and wanted us to talk like we used to before bedtime, on the phone. And initially I went along with it, even though I knew it wasn't real. Because I'd understood by then that sadly her desire to not be alone was far greater than her desire to be with me.

 

[suicidesheep31]

the average woman has far more options than the average man of the same age.

Why do you think that?

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

Why do you think that?

Because men will do a lot of things for pretty women...

 

[Heart Shards]

Why do you think that?

Dating is much easier for women. As a woman, I can verify. The reality is five guys might have to fight for my attention and ultimately I decide whether I want to date any of them. I normally don't--too depressed. But still women, in a way, we have the pick of the litter--men, not so much.

 

[Endeavour]

A 40 year old man will do a lot more for a hot 25 year old woman than he will for some 40 year old has been.

I'm 50 and I look in quite good shape - I've been looking on a dating site - to me 50 year old women look like my grandma.

I'd say I look about 46 or 47 - 46 or 47 year old women look like they're hitting 60.

 

[suicidesheep31]

Because men will do a lot of things for pretty women\\

I am not a pretty woman. So we are in the same state together

 

[Kat!]

No because that means I'm a beta bitch boy lol
Okay unless she divorced me because then there's no point in living.

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

I am not a pretty woman. So we are in the same state together

Even if you don't feel pretty at the end of the day you can chose. ;)

 

[neverever]

I would not CTB over a true or potential relationship partner.

However, the circumstances of my recent breakup with my life partner of six years pushed me over the edge into obsessive suicidality. The deep grief threatens to kill me. I lost someone who knew the core of my humanhood and the essence of my spirit, who was my best friend, my synchronous companion, the copilot to all my dreams and plans, who accepted me for the complicated person that I am.

Given that I perceived this incredibly joyful and exciting relationship to be my reward after many years of suffering from mental illness, several years of active recovery, and a long and well-earned remission, and that he blames reemergence of my mental illness symptoms for the relationship's demise, the breakup is sufficient to lead me to CTB.

 

[suicidesheep31]

Even if you don't feel pretty at the end of the day you can chose. ;)

Chose between what and what?

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

Chose between what and what?

Between different men.

(And this is not a joke, I am 100% serious)

 

[Steamm]

You probably know this but you should avoid to contact her too. Everything is said, everything else will be contraproductive.

Call your friends and meet with them. Every social contact is better than thinking 24/7 about her,

I don't have any friends and I'm a few days away from work, so, zero contact with humanity.

 

[MAIO]

It's been 6 months since she left me to date another guy but I can't still accept, it hurts so much everytime I remember her.

That's fucking stupid. The one is a myth there are 4 billion women on the planet some of which you would be much happier with, even if you had a fantastic relationship. It is a convenient exscuse though. My model fiancee broke up with me and it would be a convenient excuse.

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

I don't have any friends and I'm a few days away from work, so, zero contact with humanity.

This may sound harsh but this is actually your bigger problem.

You are really not the only guy who made this mistake but thinking that life is hell but a girlfriend will fix everything ist completely WRONG!

Thinking like this will make it VERY hard to find an other girlfriend and nearly IMPOSSIBLE to have a long, stable and healthy relationship.
And that's because this is not the point of a realtionship to replace friends. Especially you will need male friends and no woman can replace them.

 

[Steamm]

This may sound harsh but this is actually your bigger problem.

You are really not the only guy who made this mistake but thinking that life is hell but a girlfriend will fix everything ist completely WRONG!

Thinking like this will make it VERY hard to find an other girlfriend and nearly IMPOSSIBLE to have a long, stable and healthy relationship.
And that's because this is not the point of a realtionship to replace friends. Especially you will need male friends and no woman can replace them.

I used to have friends but they all abandoned me after getting into relationships.

 

[MAIO]

I used to have friends but they all abandoned me after getting into relationships.

If you just become what you want to attract the dream girl will come

 

[WasGehtnAb?]

I used to have friends but they all abandoned me after getting into relationships.

I can't believe they want to be with their girlfriends 24/7. Also they are guys so they don't care if you didn't write them for months.

Call them and ask if they want to come over for some beer. They wont say no.

 

[fixitinpost]

Why do you think that?

It's just an observation, which I've had the fortune to disuss with a couple of people in psychology - one of which has worked couple's therapy for a long while. And I think it makes sense.

Part of it is purely about society's concept of beauty. As you know, when we get older we get wrinkles, grey hair, and seem to accrue fat in the most inconvenient places. For a woman, maybe her breasts aren't as perky as they used to be. The man, if not blessed, goes bald. This process, in large part due to unrealistic expectations from men I'd say, generally isn't favourable to women, wouldn't you agree? Some of these new features can actually make a man more attractive. The grey hair, for instance. Some men's beards take into their 30s to fully develop. Other features don't really seem to matter much to women. A few wrinkles here and there, for instance. It's probably easiest to spot looking at pairs of actors from the 70s and 80s, whom we follow but only have a shallow relationship to. See were they were then, and where they are now.

But there's another aspect. Young men don't have a whole lot to offer outside of maybe virility. No education, no career, maybe some ambitions but generally just figuring stuff out. As they mature, they gain confidence, depth, experience, and become more grounded. I think women appreciate these attributes in men moreso than vice versa.

TL;DR I think men tend to emphasize looks more throughout life. Just generally have unrealistic expectations of women, particularly as they age. Young women are a hot commodity. And the studies I talked about earlier say that men cheat more out of physical dissatisfaction than women, and that it's more likely to happen at a later stage in the relationship. Which seems to be in agreeance.

It got long (AGAIN lol), but hopefully explains my thinking a bit.

 

[Steamm]

I can't believe they want to be with their girlfriends 24/7. Also they are guys so they don't care if you didn't write them for months.

Call them and ask if they want to come over for some beer. They wont say no.

They do. I already call them to hang out and stuff but they always say no so I gave up.

 

[Ricky1@@]

It's been 6 months since she left me to date another guy but I can't still accept, it hurts so much everytime I remember her

Was she hot ?

 

[Endeavour]

I'm off to watch some porn. I've had enough of trying to talk common sense here. It doesn't work. OP should do the same.

 

[Shero]

No.
Who ever influences me in a negative way will never be the deciding factor.
I do it for myself, and nobody will be at fault for that.
It was my decision alone.

 

[NodusTollens]

Over a significant other specifically, no.

Though it was the linchpin that caused my house of cards (problems in my life) to tumble down & overwhelm me.

 

[Steamm]

Was she hot ?

Average

 

[Donk]

Oh HHEEELLLL NO! it's gonna hurt initially but you'll find someone else to share your life with. Anyways..being single has its perks.

 

[Kornyboyo]

No. It would be very stupid to do so.

 

[Tintypographer]

I've thought about it, for sure.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Maybe over an accumulation of girls' rejections over the years.