Iris Blue
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
- Oct 23, 2023
- 226
I've known my best friend for over a decade and we've been pretty close the entire time. I love her so much and she is my person. Lately things have been pretty distant, I'm not sure if it is just me and my mindset or how I've been acting due to suicide plans on the mind but I've noticed (I have had this realization before but it is occurring again) it's always me asking to spend time or to contact her first. Recently I tried to make plans with her but she didn't want to do what I was interested in (but she has done the same plans with other people so I am a bit confused?) I tried to wait to see if she would reach out to maybe make plans or ask me to hang out first for once but I haven't got any response. I see she is out and about with other people so it's not like she is extremely busy with school or something else. I feel stuck because I know it would be bad to not say one more goodbye (without actually saying goodbye) and have a nice hangout but I always feel like I am just bothering her instead and it's only me making an effort in keeping out friendship strong. I don't want to make plans and it not being genuine anyways. I want to make myself completely clear I wouldn't be doing this to make her feel guilty in any way. I am just hurt and I don't want to have one last time with her if the feelings aren't mutual. What should I do? I plan to write a couple notes to her and some other people so at least she would have something. I am planning on spending some separate time with my close family before I go so would that make it worse if I don't make one with her?
