Help Working up courage?

[futurebuscatcher]

Every time I bring myself close to actually doing it I pussy out. I suddenly get a burst of fear telling me I need to live. I desperately want to die.

I've been thinking about maybe having the methods closer to me. Like a pre-made noose hanging there to help me get used to the idea or find comfort in it. But I still don't think it will work especially since I'd want to suffocate on the noose and the adrenaline to live will take over. I don't want to ruin my assets cause I want my friends to inherit them so maybe I can just erode what's left of my self esteem? Or stop my meds?

Idk. Any advice to will through it? How is everyone working up the courage?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Honestly, I think it all comes down to we leave when we're able. I don't think there's any pushing one can do to make it happen faster. I think all hope has to die. If you're still getting "bursts of fear" about dying, and are concerned about ruining your assets so that your friends can't inherit them, that says to me there's still underlying hope hanging around. In other words, you still care about things. Most people who ctb reach a point where they care about NOTHING except escape from their misery - they don't care what gets left to friends, how others might suffer without them, how much pain the ctb method might cause - NOTHING. They reach a rock bottom place where nothing matters EXCEPT the escape from their own misery. Getting there isn't something you can make happen sooner. It really just has to happen organically, if it happens at all.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

You desensitize yourself to death, the same way you desensitize yourself to other things. Overcoming SI is not a matter of wanting to die more, it's about being able to offset the mental shock.

When people see gore for the first time, they're disgusted. When you see it continuously like on a battlefield for example, you get used to tolerating it.

Same for cutters, they get used to harming themselves so it's why they have higher successful suicide rates.