I think it absolutely will be for people who think my life is all great because i dont openly talk about my struggles. I really dont want to burden or worry people about how I am doing. I dont think they could really help that much and it wouldn't really gain all that much. I think if I was to CTB, my really close friends who certainly be saddened but maybe not hugely surpised. Being that they know that after some big losses in my life, I am all alone and struggle with depression, anxiety, and isolation, they would probably see that it makes sense. They would still be hurt and saddened though. But yeah, I think people will be surprised if this does come to fruition. But I try not to think about it, as it just makes the thoughts and ideas of CTB even harder then they actually are (which is saying alot). I dont want to hurt anyone with my decisons or actions, but ultimately if thats the way i decide to go, so be it.