I was searching for an online forum about suicide. I was hoping to a) read something from someone else that was similar to my own experience (I had sought out movies and books about mental health, but none of them quite resonated with me), and b) "talk" about what I was going through without judgment, and without the typical platitudes ("just be more positive", "life is a gift", "permanent solution to a temporary problem", "it's the coward's way out", "you don't REALLY want to die, otherwise you would be dead by now", "you are stronger than you think", etc). After hearing these from clinicians, hotlines, and a few friends over the years, I just…didn't want to hear it anymore. All I wanted was someone to acknowledge that my desire to die couldn't be so flippantly disregarded. I wasn't looking for anyone to encourage me or to provide advice on "how to"…I just wanted someone, anyone, to truly recognize my struggle, even for a millisecond.
While I did find a few other forums, they were either way too heavy on the usual platitudes, or there just wasn't as much interaction. This forum was the only one that met my criteria, and it has helped. For the first time, I have been able to talk about my situation and feel like a human who is suffering, as opposed to an attention-seeker, a misanthropic pessimist, or a selfish coward.