I don't understand what shitty and dysfunctional thing my brain is doing by wanting to commit CTB but not doing it actually. WHY AM I ON THIS STUPID SITE ???
I DONT NEED IT I NEED TO CTB FOR FUCKS SAKE.
What is this Schrödinger-Shit ? Why can't I just buy the fucking Cylinder and go for it. It's easy, I know what to do but my fucktard brain seems to be incapable to just do it even tho it FUCKING SCREAMS TO GO FOR IT.
WHY DO I EVEN POST HERE. Am I just some attention seeking whore just like some people here ?
Is this my NEW IDENTITY NOW ? THE SUICIDAL HOMEBOY WHO HAS DIAGNOSED SEVERE DEPRESSION AND WANTS TO CTB SOOOO BADLY BUT HAS NO BALLS TO DO IT ?
I might as well upload a fucking Anime profile pic with some sad hot anime girls. YAY !!!
Is this really what I am ? Someone who just copes with DAILY suicidal thoughts ?????????? Just because it's so easy for my little retarded flesh meat piece of shit in my head to do that now ?
Did I condition myself into suicidal thinking ?
I am done I swear, how can I even believe what I think if there's always some dysfunctional shit going on in my head ? There no truth, there's only dysfunctional shit.
No wonder I can't face life challenges. I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT CTB BECAUSE ITS THE EASY WAY IN MY HEAD BUT FUCKING HARD IN REAL LIFE. AND THEN I DONT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MY CARERR AND HOW TO MAKE MONEY ANYMORE
WHY DONT I UNDERSTAND THIS WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
I am so angry at myself like why why why why why am I so useless so useless so useless.
There's no point in writing this. THERE IS 0 POINT IN DOING SO.
I want to CTB ? -> easy … do it. Otherwise I must be fake ? Don't come at me with that SI Bullshit. If I really wanted it I'd buy the tank in preparation and used my knowledge about what makes me depressed and THEN CTB.
Perfect moment, perfect opportunity - BUT NOOOOOO APPARENTLY SOMETHING IS HOLDING ME BACK ?
What's the point of thinking what my parents will think ? I already know the fucking answer. Why do I think of this from time to time ?
I have it good… I don't need to hunger or be thirsty. I can have medical necessities whenever I need them. Why am I such a waste ? Why can't I find any answers ?
JUST WHY
I DONT NEED IT I NEED TO CTB FOR FUCKS SAKE.
What is this Schrödinger-Shit ? Why can't I just buy the fucking Cylinder and go for it. It's easy, I know what to do but my fucktard brain seems to be incapable to just do it even tho it FUCKING SCREAMS TO GO FOR IT.
WHY DO I EVEN POST HERE. Am I just some attention seeking whore just like some people here ?
Is this my NEW IDENTITY NOW ? THE SUICIDAL HOMEBOY WHO HAS DIAGNOSED SEVERE DEPRESSION AND WANTS TO CTB SOOOO BADLY BUT HAS NO BALLS TO DO IT ?
I might as well upload a fucking Anime profile pic with some sad hot anime girls. YAY !!!
Is this really what I am ? Someone who just copes with DAILY suicidal thoughts ?????????? Just because it's so easy for my little retarded flesh meat piece of shit in my head to do that now ?
Did I condition myself into suicidal thinking ?
I am done I swear, how can I even believe what I think if there's always some dysfunctional shit going on in my head ? There no truth, there's only dysfunctional shit.
No wonder I can't face life challenges. I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT CTB BECAUSE ITS THE EASY WAY IN MY HEAD BUT FUCKING HARD IN REAL LIFE. AND THEN I DONT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MY CARERR AND HOW TO MAKE MONEY ANYMORE
WHY DONT I UNDERSTAND THIS WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
I am so angry at myself like why why why why why am I so useless so useless so useless.
There's no point in writing this. THERE IS 0 POINT IN DOING SO.
I want to CTB ? -> easy … do it. Otherwise I must be fake ? Don't come at me with that SI Bullshit. If I really wanted it I'd buy the tank in preparation and used my knowledge about what makes me depressed and THEN CTB.
Perfect moment, perfect opportunity - BUT NOOOOOO APPARENTLY SOMETHING IS HOLDING ME BACK ?
What's the point of thinking what my parents will think ? I already know the fucking answer. Why do I think of this from time to time ?
I have it good… I don't need to hunger or be thirsty. I can have medical necessities whenever I need them. Why am I such a waste ? Why can't I find any answers ?
JUST WHY
