Venting Why painless?

[Dante71]

Just lying here wondering what difference it really makes, i have almost given up on everything, my mental illness has destroyed my life and relationship and i have to leave the only safe home i have ever known and my children, i have eaten one proper meal in the last 2 weeks and am becoming weaker,

the police and crisis team have already said to my ex that if i lie in bed and passively waste away they cannot stop me, i have lost the will.

 

[Querry1]

If you are suffering your whole life, you'd wish to leave this shithole in peace

And for the children, you should try to go on for them, I know it is hard but try to make their life easier.

My mother was suicidal, I was left alone by myself and I ended up committing, not her. If you will leave your kid, they will be even more fucked up. I know it sounds harsh, but try to make it for your children

 

[ctbUniquectb]

less pain = less SI

You're working against some atavistic forces.

 

[mesohappy]

Damn,sorry for what your going through brother..And I agree,once a person has totally gave up,pain becomes less of a factor.

I would just worry about your kids..Im sure it would hurt them if you ctb.Are you still able to see them/have visitation?

Also what method are you thinking about that is painful?

 

[Dante71]

Damn,sorry for what your going through brother..And I agree,once a person has totally gave up,pain becomes less of a factor.

I would just worry about your kids..Im sure it would hurt them if you ctb.Are you still able to see them/have visitation?

Also what method are you thinking about that is painful?

No idea yet with the kids, its all happening right now, i thin' im just leaving the cry for help phase so not sure what im going to do, i have lost all hope

 

[Bigrab]

Wow, that's the support the police and crisis team can provide?!..... sounds about right. Fuck them! Hope you can find a bit of support here instead.

 

[Dante71]

Wow, that's the support the police and crisis team can provide?!..... sounds about right. Fuck them! Hope you can find a bit of support here instead.

Im assuming i will be sectioned at some point then i would think shit will start to get real

 

[issyishere]

Some people have good points such as lowering SI, spending their whole life in pain and just want some peace before they go. I'm mostly scared of time dilating before I go and that pain lasting much longer to me even though it could be minutes on paper.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

No idea yet with the kids, its all happening right now, i thin' im just leaving the cry for help phase so not sure what im going to do, i have lost all hope

Yeah, so, not to be a dick, but you need tough love:

1) you can SO fucking return to the cry of help stage. From there, it's "easy" to get back to the Near Normal Experience your shrink is telling you is possible.

2) your kids: brodog, I'm not ever ever ever getting anyone pregnant, but a super close friend lost her pops at age 11. Still thinks about him decades later. Not to shame, but keep that in mind.

 

[mesohappy]

No idea yet with the kids, its all happening right now, i thin' im just leaving the cry for help phase so not sure what im going to do, i have lost all hope

And the ex? No chance of getting back together? Getting your home back?

 

[ctbUniquectb]

time dilating before I go

On my "gungho, bad ass, for real" attempts where death was snatched from me and I thought I was on short final: time does not dilate nor is there any compression a la Lorentz. Shit goes normal, then (whatever happened to me) interrupted with seconds on the shot clock.

 

[Dante71]

Yeah, so, not to be a dick, but you need tough love:

1) you can SO fucking return to the cry of help stage. From there, it's "easy" to get back to the Near Normal Experience your shrink is telling you is possible.

2) your kids: brodog, I'm not ever ever ever getting anyone pregnant, but a super close friend lost her pops at age 11. Still thinks about him decades later. Not to shame, but keep that in mind.

Yes i hear you, prob only reason i havent jumped of london bridge

And the ex? No chance of getting back together? Getting your home back?

No, i have been in slow decline for about 18 months and she just watched and said and did nothing now wants me gone.

 

[terry_a_davis]

No pain = easier ctb.
Op if you stop eating for a dangerous length of time and your crisis team gets to know you'll get sectioned and force fed. Your kids will be devastated if you kill yourself.

 

[Mr2005]

The whole point is presumably to end the pain not to cause more