iwantoutx
Member
- Oct 17, 2024
- 12
I don't understand why I get so much hate in real life. Every single person makes fun of me, criticize me, act rude, and only be nice when there's money involved. Why am I such a ghost? Why isn't anybody interested in me? Why do people treat me this way? I don't feel like I belong here. No one seems to relate to my problems, and they're so overwhelming-starting from health issues, to feeling unattractive, to struggling with ADHD. The list just keeps growing. I'm disgusted by this world, and I hate living in it. I feel like a pathetic loser: ugly, alone, kissless, and without even a single friend.
For the past ten-plus months, I've been locked in my room all day. I tried going out for walks, but people just laughed at me. Seeing couples only made me want to die even more. This is psychological torture. Every single day, I feel forced to just lie on this bed. I've tried everything I could think of to improve my life, but I keep failing. I went to the gym, got fit, and felt more confident, yet no one showed any interest. I tried approaching people in a friendly way but got rejected. They probably thought I was a creep, since I'm so ugly. I'm at a loss. I'm stuck in this room, with no energy left to do anything else. I want out so badly, but I'm too much of a coward to actually make it happen.
The only method I could probably succeed with is drowning; I almost drowned as a kid, and it wasn't that bad. At this point, I feel lost. I don't think there's any hope left for me. I thought maybe I could at least get an explanation for why people avoid me, but I never got one. I guess I'll die without ever understanding why I was given such a harsh, painful life.
Last year, I got cancer. Why did I even fight it? Maybe it was my destiny to die. I had prayed and prayed to get sick and die, but then, when I got the diagnosis, I suddenly didn't want to die anymore. I guess I don't. I just want this suffering to end. But, unfortunately, I don't think it ever will, unless I end it myself. Sorry if my words are all over the place. I'm just really upset, and my neck hurts from the failed attempt.
For the past ten-plus months, I've been locked in my room all day. I tried going out for walks, but people just laughed at me. Seeing couples only made me want to die even more. This is psychological torture. Every single day, I feel forced to just lie on this bed. I've tried everything I could think of to improve my life, but I keep failing. I went to the gym, got fit, and felt more confident, yet no one showed any interest. I tried approaching people in a friendly way but got rejected. They probably thought I was a creep, since I'm so ugly. I'm at a loss. I'm stuck in this room, with no energy left to do anything else. I want out so badly, but I'm too much of a coward to actually make it happen.
The only method I could probably succeed with is drowning; I almost drowned as a kid, and it wasn't that bad. At this point, I feel lost. I don't think there's any hope left for me. I thought maybe I could at least get an explanation for why people avoid me, but I never got one. I guess I'll die without ever understanding why I was given such a harsh, painful life.
Last year, I got cancer. Why did I even fight it? Maybe it was my destiny to die. I had prayed and prayed to get sick and die, but then, when I got the diagnosis, I suddenly didn't want to die anymore. I guess I don't. I just want this suffering to end. But, unfortunately, I don't think it ever will, unless I end it myself. Sorry if my words are all over the place. I'm just really upset, and my neck hurts from the failed attempt.
