why must i be cowardly even when things are impossible

[wonderfulheaven]

i've grown to loathe college doing it for absolutely no reason as im aspirationless but to appease my family and im trapped in this stress, my family hates me even so, no one is proud of me, everyone is going to abandon me
nothing will go uphill in my life so i dont understand why i cant just cave and buy the sn. i cant even pinpoint the core of this useless feeling of "wanting" to live, it's so stupid. i wish i could just abandon this fake subconscious hope at war with my true urges and get it over with

 

[LAPD]

I feel you. I've just finished university and have no desire to continue on and find a job. I just feel indifferent to everything and resent that society expects me to get a job and push forward with my miserable life. I don't have the willpower or courage to buy the sn so I am just paralyzed as am I unwilling to do anything to change my situation.