Hi Everyone
Longtime lurker, but very rarely post or comment. I live in NZ, for context.
I joined this site a few years ago, just before an unsuccessful hanging - then partial hanging - attempt. I've been meandering along ever since. A cocktail of meds keeps me in this dreadful purgatory. I'm past the shock, anger and tears of initially becoming suicidal. I'm in a comfortable phase of having made up my mind, and making it as efficient as possible.
I want to go, I know it's time. I just can't bear the thought of yet another failure, and the inevitable embarrassment that follows. Last time I ended up in a mental hospital, and everyone in my small town found out about it.
SN seems to be the way to go.
HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to get a hold of this stuff? So far, I have tried:
If anyone can help me with a source, I would greatly appreciate it. I understand the suspicion you might have about sending sources to a complete random....I have done everything else myself, and now I am just tired and in pain. This post is purely out of frustration and desperation.
Throw me a bone, universe.
Longtime lurker, but very rarely post or comment. I live in NZ, for context.
I joined this site a few years ago, just before an unsuccessful hanging - then partial hanging - attempt. I've been meandering along ever since. A cocktail of meds keeps me in this dreadful purgatory. I'm past the shock, anger and tears of initially becoming suicidal. I'm in a comfortable phase of having made up my mind, and making it as efficient as possible.
I want to go, I know it's time. I just can't bear the thought of yet another failure, and the inevitable embarrassment that follows. Last time I ended up in a mental hospital, and everyone in my small town found out about it.
SN seems to be the way to go.
HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to get a hold of this stuff? So far, I have tried:
- Tried local suppliers. All have B2B or other restrictions. Rejected.
- Ordering from a site that is well known here. Starts with S. They cancelled my order, as they could not ship to my country (NZ)
- Assumed (from sites name) that it was based in China. Tried ordering from freight-forwarding company, who would then send to me. FF company cancelled, said the site was not based in China, so they couldn't help. Order cancelled. Which countries will they ship to, I wonder?
- Ordered from overseas sites. Order taken, payment taken, order cancelled.
- Spent hours scouring websites, but each one has a barrier. Cannot send to NZ, minimum order quantities etc
If anyone can help me with a source, I would greatly appreciate it. I understand the suspicion you might have about sending sources to a complete random....I have done everything else myself, and now I am just tired and in pain. This post is purely out of frustration and desperation.
Throw me a bone, universe.
