Venting Why is this so hard? Losing my mind searching for SN

[ruby09]

Wow there's quite a few people here from nz. What's your reasons to ctb if you don't mind me asking? I've been damaged from antidepressants and upon stopping have severe cognitive issues and am about 20 percent the person I was before taking them

thats awful im so sorry that happened to you :( i have similar reasons, chronic health issues + trauma that just steal any chance of me being happy at all

 

[hematomatema]

Please do share, it's like dangling a carrot to say something like that and then not share the methods..

Sorry, I've been a bit busy IRL preparing/going through my last methods of making myself happy before I opt for CTB, but the main method I'd like to shill mention is nicotine overdose.

I wrote a message to someone who was asking about the methods I mention the other week so I'll copy and paste that into this thread just for ease's sake. Please note I've only really done amateur research, a lot of it, but still amateur research, and so I don't have full information on nicotine's pharmokinetics, what the process is like (still yet to receive my nicotine, but when I do I'll make a thread and update everyone on the process so we have a first-hand anecdotal experience to go off of ), etc.

---

"The main method I was talking about (and intend to use) is a bit novel; it's liquid nicotine. That stuff is generally used for vape juices and flavours and whatnot (I think? I don't vape so I wouldn't know) but there are a lot of little bits that make it quite a good method, at least in my opinion.

First is the fact that it's not regulated enough. Can straight up buy 72mg/ml 250ml solutions. You only need 4 grams to overdose, you'd be overdoing that by over 4x if you drank the whole thing. Very few suicides use this method because it's so new and media outlets don't really cover it as opposed to the sodium nitrite boogeyman.

Then there's the aforementioned fact of only needing roughly 4g to successfully overdose through oral ingestion. 2-3g might get you to it but 4 and above is where it really proves to be effective, even more so if you take like 10-12g, because even if you throw a lot up, there's still going to be enough in your system to do something (probably.)

Then there's the price. It's really cheap. Like, £50 cheap, if not less if you aren't lazy and have a proper look around. No need for benzos or alcohol or whatever other drugs you can think of that might end up being extortionate, all you seem to need is your nicotine solution alongside an antiemetic of some kind.

There are only really two major downsides I can see to this method. The first is that, while it's not necessarily painful, it's going to be uncomfortable as fuck, because nicotine is a stimulant. That's sort of the case for all stimulants though. Nicotine in particular causes convulsions so not only will you be uncomfortable in your last moments, but you'll probably be making a bit of a ruckus in the process of CTB as well, which is how quite a few of the instances of attempted suicides I found using the method ended up failing - they would try to CTB in a hotel room or something, would knock over a set of drawers or whatever, someone would come running to look, and they'd find them. Then again, the exact same thing can be said about sodium nitrite (ok, maybe not the convulsions, but the general discomfort) - it's not as peaceful as many make it out to be lol. I've seen a couple videos that disprove that, at least a little bit.

The other downside is the vomiting. Not only is it uncomfortable but the vomiting decreases the likelihood of it working. You'd probably need a strong antiemetic like metoclopramide or domperidone to lower the chances slightly and even then chances are you'll throw it up anyways. It's why I recommend really high doses - in the event you do throw it up, your body might have absorbed enough nicotine for it to prove fatal. I suppose that's another benefit of the method; nicotine has a reasonably high oral bioavailability of 50-80% so injections only serve to prevent vomiting plus that little added bit of nicotine if you're not sure you'll die.

That's about all I can really say on the method, there's not a whole lot of information on it to be honest because it's just quite an unknown, unusual method, but from what I can tell it's highly effective, especially in those doses I previously mentioned. I know it sounds like I'm shilling this method hard but I truly believe that, due to sodium nitrite's increasing unavailability, it might have some value to it for those who are unfortunate enough not to be able to get their hands on sodium nitrite and whatever else is required."

---

I've been looking at a couple of other methods that might be equally as accessible, albeit not as 'peaceful' as nicotine (if you can call it that, it's quite scary from the sounds of it, even if it is quite painless) but I've yet to do write-ups on them. If I feel motivated enough and I'm not dead, I'll probably make a thread or two on them.

 

[Panopticon021]

An update, and another question:

I ordered some SN. I got it dispatched to a freight forwarder, but they have lost the package. Courier company reckons they've delivered it to FF. FF doesn't know anything about it. I'm at a dead end.

I may be able to order some more. I think I will HAVE TO use some sort of freight forwarding, as no suppliers ship direct here.

Has anyone give an idea of what countries to ship to, or NOT to ship to?

 

[hypothetical]

I'm also from NZ! Seems quite a few of us here! For better or worse.

 

[LifeQuitter]

Afaik SD from America is the only place that won't ship outside the country, a couple places from Europe adopted the same policy but will still send it if you email them.

 

[mistymoo]

Sorry, I've been a bit busy IRL preparing/going through my last methods of making myself happy before I opt for CTB, but the main method I'd like to shill mention is nicotine overdose.

I wrote a message to someone who was asking about the methods I mention the other week so I'll copy and paste that into this thread just for ease's sake. Please note I've only really done amateur research, a lot of it, but still amateur research, and so I don't have full information on nicotine's pharmokinetics, what the process is like (still yet to receive my nicotine, but when I do I'll make a thread and update everyone on the process so we have a first-hand anecdotal experience to go off of ), etc.

---

"The main method I was talking about (and intend to use) is a bit novel; it's liquid nicotine. That stuff is generally used for vape juices and flavours and whatnot (I think? I don't vape so I wouldn't know) but there are a lot of little bits that make it quite a good method, at least in my opinion.

First is the fact that it's not regulated enough. Can straight up buy 72mg/ml 250ml solutions. You only need 4 grams to overdose, you'd be overdoing that by over 4x if you drank the whole thing. Very few suicides use this method because it's so new and media outlets don't really cover it as opposed to the sodium nitrite boogeyman.

Then there's the aforementioned fact of only needing roughly 4g to successfully overdose through oral ingestion. 2-3g might get you to it but 4 and above is where it really proves to be effective, even more so if you take like 10-12g, because even if you throw a lot up, there's still going to be enough in your system to do something (probably.)

Then there's the price. It's really cheap. Like, £50 cheap, if not less if you aren't lazy and have a proper look around. No need for benzos or alcohol or whatever other drugs you can think of that might end up being extortionate, all you seem to need is your nicotine solution alongside an antiemetic of some kind.

There are only really two major downsides I can see to this method. The first is that, while it's not necessarily painful, it's going to be uncomfortable as fuck, because nicotine is a stimulant. That's sort of the case for all stimulants though. Nicotine in particular causes convulsions so not only will you be uncomfortable in your last moments, but you'll probably be making a bit of a ruckus in the process of CTB as well, which is how quite a few of the instances of attempted suicides I found using the method ended up failing - they would try to CTB in a hotel room or something, would knock over a set of drawers or whatever, someone would come running to look, and they'd find them. Then again, the exact same thing can be said about sodium nitrite (ok, maybe not the convulsions, but the general discomfort) - it's not as peaceful as many make it out to be lol. I've seen a couple videos that disprove that, at least a little bit.

The other downside is the vomiting. Not only is it uncomfortable but the vomiting decreases the likelihood of it working. You'd probably need a strong antiemetic like metoclopramide or domperidone to lower the chances slightly and even then chances are you'll throw it up anyways. It's why I recommend really high doses - in the event you do throw it up, your body might have absorbed enough nicotine for it to prove fatal. I suppose that's another benefit of the method; nicotine has a reasonably high oral bioavailability of 50-80% so injections only serve to prevent vomiting plus that little added bit of nicotine if you're not sure you'll die.

That's about all I can really say on the method, there's not a whole lot of information on it to be honest because it's just quite an unknown, unusual method, but from what I can tell it's highly effective, especially in those doses I previously mentioned. I know it sounds like I'm shilling this method hard but I truly believe that, due to sodium nitrite's increasing unavailability, it might have some value to it for those who are unfortunate enough not to be able to get their hands on sodium nitrite and whatever else is required."

---

I've been looking at a couple of other methods that might be equally as accessible, albeit not as 'peaceful' as nicotine (if you can call it that, it's quite scary from the sounds of it, even if it is quite painless) but I've yet to do write-ups on them. If I feel motivated enough and I'm not dead, I'll probably make a thread or two on them.

Have you ever drank multiple coffees and gotten the jitters? I think that would be similar to ctb w nicotine. It doesn't sound painless :(

 

[dying flower]

Hi Everyone

Longtime lurker, but very rarely post or comment. I live in NZ, for context.

I joined this site a few years ago, just before an unsuccessful hanging - then partial hanging - attempt. I've been meandering along ever since. A cocktail of meds keeps me in this dreadful purgatory. I'm past the shock, anger and tears of initially becoming suicidal. I'm in a comfortable phase of having made up my mind, and making it as efficient as possible.

I want to go, I know it's time. I just can't bear the thought of yet another failure, and the inevitable embarrassment that follows. Last time I ended up in a mental hospital, and everyone in my small town found out about it.

SN seems to be the way to go.

HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to get a hold of this stuff? So far, I have tried:

• Tried local suppliers. All have B2B or other restrictions. Rejected.
• Ordering from a site that is well known here. Starts with S. They cancelled my order, as they could not ship to my country (NZ)
• Assumed (from sites name) that it was based in China. Tried ordering from freight-forwarding company, who would then send to me. FF company cancelled, said the site was not based in China, so they couldn't help. Order cancelled. Which countries will they ship to, I wonder?
• Ordered from overseas sites. Order taken, payment taken, order cancelled.
• Spent hours scouring websites, but each one has a barrier. Cannot send to NZ, minimum order quantities etc

I already have antiemetics and benzos for this method. They're often the hardest thing to source, but I found them the easiest! I have assembled some backup plans (CO, night-night) but I know there is a risk of failure with those. I often stay in hotels, so SN method seems like the ideal way to CTB.

If anyone can help me with a source, I would greatly appreciate it. I understand the suspicion you might have about sending sources to a complete random....I have done everything else myself, and now I am just tired and in pain. This post is purely out of frustration and desperation.

Throw me a bone, universe.

Have you tried the Indian sites? I got mine last year from Asia but l see they are no longer selling SN

 

[emma99]

An update, and another question:

I ordered some SN. I got it dispatched to a freight forwarder, but they have lost the package. Courier company reckons they've delivered it to FF. FF doesn't know anything about it. I'm at a dead end.

I may be able to order some more. I think I will HAVE TO use some sort of freight forwarding, as no suppliers ship direct here.

Has anyone give an idea of what countries to ship to, or NOT to ship to?

What methods are available to people in NZ, that so many are determined to try SN, which is obviously so problematic?