Feel like such a coward every attempt fails or SI takes over, why don't we have the right to die the whole world would be better off if we could just die
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Hey! I was just about to make a similar post. I have been going to bridges over and over for the better part of 2 months now and I just can't get myself to go over the railings and jump. People who say that killing yourself is cowardly have no idea what they are talking about. I have so much more respect for people who actually follow through with it and take control of their own destiny.
Same here get closer and closer everytime last night I just stood there for a while looking down just crying telling myself just do it but it's so hard, I don't want to live just wish we all had a readily accessible quick and painless way out that doesn't mangle our body and traumatise whoever finds us but instead we're trapped in this rat race
Agreed! anytime i hear about someone committing suicide, I'm in awe of their strength and willpower and also a lot jealous/envious.
I've been trying to come up, with a risk free method for Months and can't find anything. I am beyond frustrated. I don't want to be alive anymore. This is torment.
Crazy thing is that, there are so many medications out there, that will give us a peaceful death and we're not allowed to use it.
Crazy thing is that, there are so many medications out there, that will give us a peaceful death and we're not allowed to use it.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,207
I absolutely despise the fact that how in this hellish world suicide is so unnecessarily difficult, it's cruel and evil how we were forced to exist so unfairly yet are denied a straightforward way to free ourselves from this torture. I also admire those who succeed with suicide and how they manage to overcome all the difficulties involved in voluntarily dying, those who cannot suffer anymore are so incredibly lucky as to have the ability to exist is a curse.
If suicide was easier I would be long gone, it disgusts me how so many in this world wish to prolong torment at all costs, death really is the only relief from suffering so of course it would be better off if we had the option to just die. In fact it's unacceptable how we don't, existing should always be viewed as being a choice rather than an obligation.
If suicide was easier I would be long gone, it disgusts me how so many in this world wish to prolong torment at all costs, death really is the only relief from suffering so of course it would be better off if we had the option to just die. In fact it's unacceptable how we don't, existing should always be viewed as being a choice rather than an obligation.
glitterypearls
sing me to sleep
- Mar 23, 2023
- 183
I deal with SI too, it's hard to overcome. I'm always so impressed by people who carry suicide so suddenly without backing up.
Hey a thread for me, how do you do fellow cowards
This part I don't agree with though, it is not I who failed the world but the world who has failed me
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sorella santini
Member
- Jan 19, 2021
- 87
Feeling the same way. Like a big coward. Last week I had the perfect opportunity to ctb and didn't follow through. I told myself I guess I wasn't quite ready yet. But Im beginning to think I'll never find the courage.
rue
chronically ill
- Sep 22, 2019
- 28
Ki_Nam
Slow brain turdle
- Mar 23, 2023
- 124
SI isn't too hard to overcome for me. It actually took a lot of practice and self-affirmations. When I look at the past, all the enemies and mistakes I made, I realize how unforgiveable my existence is. I redirect all that rage and anger not onto others, but to myself. Because I know I'm deserving of that. At the very least, that's what I deserve. Nothing else. I guess... that's how I'm able to overcome it. The real issue with me is the how, where and when.
I feel at peace and even excited when I think about ctb. I used to get the same feeling when my dad would take me to the store to get a new video game (long time ago). That's probably the height of my dopamine level. Nothing big. My life isn't too lived anyway.
Physical pain and the possibility of failure or intervention are what I fear. If I do fail, but still capable of making decisions afterwards, that will just give me a reason to try again. No matter the cost.
My idiot self let the secrets out because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.
It becomes especially harder to overcome SI when you are making final preparations, or have things or people to lose. That's what came to my mind at least. I guess it varies with people. I have those things and have cried a lot. Not because I'm sad for my pathetic self, but because I know they'll be in pain when I'm gone. And I hate giving others pain, despite the fact that I couldn't shut up with my announcements and causing emotional stress in other people. They didn't deserve that. I'm so stupid. There's something clearly wrong with me.
That is what I'm doing. Preparations. Making plans to make sure things go right for people that care about me, after I'm gone. I'm not that important, and have never been too important/ or been an integral part of society let alone my family unit. So, I'm not boasting when I say I'm the one making plans.
Anyways, I wish you all the best. It's incredible to see others fighting an uphill battle with themselves just to be free. Keep up the good fight and your day will come.
Cheers.
I feel at peace and even excited when I think about ctb. I used to get the same feeling when my dad would take me to the store to get a new video game (long time ago). That's probably the height of my dopamine level. Nothing big. My life isn't too lived anyway.
Physical pain and the possibility of failure or intervention are what I fear. If I do fail, but still capable of making decisions afterwards, that will just give me a reason to try again. No matter the cost.
My idiot self let the secrets out because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.
It becomes especially harder to overcome SI when you are making final preparations, or have things or people to lose. That's what came to my mind at least. I guess it varies with people. I have those things and have cried a lot. Not because I'm sad for my pathetic self, but because I know they'll be in pain when I'm gone. And I hate giving others pain, despite the fact that I couldn't shut up with my announcements and causing emotional stress in other people. They didn't deserve that. I'm so stupid. There's something clearly wrong with me.
That is what I'm doing. Preparations. Making plans to make sure things go right for people that care about me, after I'm gone. I'm not that important, and have never been too important/ or been an integral part of society let alone my family unit. So, I'm not boasting when I say I'm the one making plans.
Anyways, I wish you all the best. It's incredible to see others fighting an uphill battle with themselves just to be free. Keep up the good fight and your day will come.
Cheers.
That sounds eerily identical to how I feel, the only thing I've ever been good at is hurting people causing suffering pain and being a burden, some people are not meant for this "life" maybe we're to real in this world that's why we can't keep our mouths shut, say what needs to be said fuck it what does it matter, I guess that in itself is preparation pushing people away make everyone hate you so it's easier for them to let go
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