Discussion Why is Christmas depressing for you?

[Versailles]

I've seen many people here say that this time of year is depressing for you, the truth is for me it's a normal time of year so I don't feel anything special when this time of year comes, so I would like to know your reasons.

 

[saultissad]

It reminds me that no matter how objectively good my life is (e.g. on break, surrounded by family, celebrating) I'm just tired of everything. The rest of the year you can maybe have hope that you can be happy under the right circumstances, but once you're actually under those circumstances, it becomes painfully obvious that the problem is intrinsic.

 

[failureofahuman]

I actually quite like Christmas and the holidays, some people with seasonal affective disorder might find it depressing just because of less sunlight. It's a myth that suicide rates increase in the winter around the holidays, the peak in suicides is actually in late spring and summer.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Christmas used to be my favourite holiday as a child. I remember one Christmas looking out the window, cold breeze, we could see the fireworks in the distance, everyone was making a ruckus with the pans, my mom and my grandma were beside me, my sister was dancing. I felt so happy, it's one of the few happy memories I still remember.
Then years went by and my mother died suddenly of cancer when I was 13. Nothing was ever the same.

One Christmas after my mother had died, my grandma was happy, she was breathing better, I felt glad for her. Some time later she was living with my cousin and she told me she fell. She had big bruises. Several weeks later, she died suddenly during the night.
This year my cousin told me that it was my father that pushed my grandma and that's how she got hurt. I can't describe how I feel about that.

Christmas is a time of family and the family that I loved and loved me, is dead. The family that is still alive couldn't care less about me. Christmas is a yearly reminder of all that I've lost.

 

[Versailles]

Christmas used to be my favourite holiday as a child. I remember one Christmas looking out the window, cold breeze, we could see the fireworks in the distance, everyone was making a ruckus with the pans, my mom and my grandma were beside me, my sister was dancing. I felt so happy, it's one of the few happy memories I still remember.
Then years went by and my mother died suddenly of cancer when I was 13. Nothing was ever the same.

One Christmas after my mother had died, my grandma was happy, she was breathing better, I felt glad for her. Some time later she was living with my cousin and she told me she fell. She had big bruises. Several weeks later, she died suddenly during the night.
This year my cousin told me that it was my father that pushed my grandma and that's how she got hurt. I can't describe how I feel about that.

Christmas is a time of family and the family that I loved and loved me, is dead. The family that is still alive couldn't care less about me. Christmas is a yearly reminder of all that I've lost.

I'm sorry to hear that, the passage of time has also taken away family members that I love, my stepfather, my grandfather and this year my uncle. For certain reasons I had to escape from my country leaving them all behind and it is quite frustrating to want to share with them and not be able to.

 

[wonderfulheaven]

different for everyone possibly but it's just dreadful knowing a time that i would look forward to as a child turned into a time of domestic disputes and being too poor to enjoy what it used to be lol. the light in general dimming

 

[Sarros]

It's a season where I remember I used to be happy. I enjoyed spending time with family. Over the years I spent less and less time with them.

Now I'm a depressed adult, reaching to spend time with friends or family but everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives. It reminds me that I'm not a priority in anyone lives. I barely feel like a friend to my friends. More like a toy, to entertain and amuse.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It reminds me of families and that my real family are mostly dead and my step relations, I have unpleasant memories with. Especially around Christmas.

I choose and prefer to spend Christmas alone. I'd much prefer it to be just another day but from October onwards, it's shoved in your face.

People also tend to just assume that you'll spend Christmas with your family. It's not like they're meaning to stir. It's a natural thing to ask but it just gets tiring really. I just tend to say that I don't do Christmas. Maybe I ought to tell them I've taken up a new religion that forbids it. They'd probably find that easier to accept.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wouldn't say that Xmas and this time of the year makes me more depressed than the rest of the year. Since many years, this time of the year are days like any other days but still it has always been a "special time". In recent years I didn't really enjoy anything bc everything was going downhill this year everything is pretty much neutral on a low level, so will be Xmas a day like any other days in my current life.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Nine years ago, during the Christmas party at my job at the time, was when I discovered that the girl I was developing feelings for had gotten together with someone else. It sucked because I was going to use this event to literally tell her how I feel instead I had to sit through that whole event of suffocating holiday cheer trying to force my biggest smiles through to seem supportive. What hurts about it even more is that I had to remain friends with her for about a year and a half after this and she eventually even told me she wished I had engaged with her sooner. If only I had been just a little bit faster. I later had to cut ties with her entirely because being around her was getting to be too much to bear.

This event is what broke me beyond repair. Since then I have embraced evil and malice and hatred. It was only very recently that I've even started to commence to proceed to begin to formulate the concept of planning the initial stages for opening up a little bit of becoming less hateful but in the end it still basically ravaged my entire 20s.

Yeah I realize this is basically a Grinch or Scrooge level Christmas backstory but I don't care. Christmas will always leave this bitter feeling in me because of it and because it's a painful reminder that I'll always be alone because I deserve to be.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

This is the first year Christmas time is depressing for me, and that's because my entire life was just completely shattered. My wife and daughters separated from me, and biplolar destroyed my mental wellbeing over the course of the year. Spending time with family just makes me feel tormented by sorrow for the loss of my connection wth my wife and kids, shame for letting everyone down, and angiush for the pain I'll cause by CTB.

 

[divinemistress87]

Holidays are to materalistic

 

[F@#$]

It's not any more or less depressing for me. All the fake "holiday cheer,joy to the world"bullshit I find nauseating.
Humbug!

 

[NotSalmon]

I've seen many people here say that this time of year is depressing for you, the truth is for me it's a normal time of year so I don't feel anything special when this time of year comes, so I would like to know your reasons.

Can't connect to most people especially my family, so gift giving is hard and as a result I feel like a narcissistic piece of shit when I don't know what to get someone. Also fucking hate being forced to be around family
..and that obnoxious music.
At least it's not birthday

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm indifferent to christmas but my guess is probably the social aspect involved with it? Christmas is a time where everybody goes crazy and socialise a lot with each other and seem to be having fun which probably further makes people feel shitty for not having those things too. That's just my guess though

 

[waterbed]

Everyone expects you to be joyous and grateful and allat, but how could I be when my thoughts are like this.

 

[quietpill]

Same as most, for me, I think, in that it largely reminds me that I am alone and insignificant. It reminds me that for all the people I've tried and successfully given thoughtful gifts, I never receive one that's thoughtful. No one will ever care about my interests or find me interesting, if they ever think of me in the first place. I am an obligation to be included, never a genuine participant by virtue of having no genuine connections. It just proves I am a fake person. The best thing I can do during the holidays is work in a futile grind against ever mounting debt and I have to do it the horrible marching tune of fucking. Santa, Baby. Even as a child it was a shit holiday full of yelling, neglect, and alienation. It's not for me, it never was.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Reminds me (even more) of my loneliness.

Good thing is, the older you get, the faster it happens. Blink and will be January.

 

[ewlife]

My parents strongly favor my sister, so Christmas is another family-oriented holiday that reminds me of their rejection. It stings a bit extra on Christmas.

 

[CTB Dream]

xms v sad v dprs, see new y no hpn any no do any injury damage time mov mov rly sad rly sad time mov mov add1y ,ya make rmmb mmry many rmmb girl ,sad lif sad unvrs dprs lif dprs unvrs

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I find it quite lonely. It's a reminder that I probably will never have a family of my own.

 

[BlueLock]

In the northern hemisphere it turns into night by like 2pm. And if it rains there's no day at all. Also being forced around family, sending lots of money, and societal expectations that you should be happy aren't too fun either.

 

[Metalhead]

It makes me realise all the more how unwanted & unloved I am as I spend Xmas on my own.