Why haven't you CTB yet?

[thx1138]

Because of my mother.

 

[wanttodie]

Finding the right method and getting it right

 

[Ramirez]

Cuz stupid partial didn't work for shit

 

[timetogo]

Fear of failure.
Getting affairs in order.

 

[Astral316]

Can't order the goods where I'm at right now.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I'm an idiot who has stupid hope that someone will come back to me.

 

[Maravillosa]

I want to wait till after I have successfully published at least one novel and my mother is dead. When those things happen, I will need to put my affairs in order and rid myself of any lingering fears of failure, as well as the fear that I might not go straight to Heaven upon ctb.

 

[Mikemikemike]

I am ready to ctb I have ordered all the materials for the helium exit bag the helium is 98% pure and this seems to be the best method. I tried the blood choke tonight and it didn't work I've just got a sore throat!! I really hope the exit bag will work. I am to chicken to try hanging I want it to be as peaceful as possible

 

[EmptySteph62]

I can't bring myself to leave my cat or my family alone just yet... they're going through a lot and it would be a really bad time for me to leave them

 

[throwaway123]

There are a lot of reasons:
-lack of proper method
-fear of the unknown
-fear of the afterlife being worse than this
-risk of failure
-I'm not willing to risk it all a third time. I failed before and the next time I do it I'm going to plan it down to the minute detail so it can't go wrong.

 

[oxymoron]

Reason why I haven't is because of my family plus fear of the unknown

Want to make my death look like an accident. Don't know how tho.

 

[a_strange_day]

because I'm weak and scared

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Basically all the reasons aforementioned I believe for me as well, I prayed the other month for protection as I had made some people angry at me who knew where I lived, and a voice answered me in a dream and said he would save me and I thought maybe that's God but then why don't other people get a voice who successfully suicide and such so I just figure maybe it's not my time so I will wait until my body gives out as naturally as possible plus some near death experiences seem to help me have hope the positive ones at least which most of them I've found are <3

 

[mattwitt]

A few miracles since last October.

 

[kappa]

I want a cat so bad but like u said I feel too uncertain about my situation and I would want a better home to have cats in. Ideally at least two cats so they have can entertain themselves if I'm gone.

My cat is depressed. I feel bad for him.

 

[mathieu]

I'm waiting until I can get N.

 

[Painpleasure]

I have not left this planet yet because I am waiting for love

 

[tomz323]

Fear of failure/ending up a vegetable.

That's my number one reason too

 

[lizinha]

survival instinct. hopefully one day i'll build the courage or implusively kill myself

 

[Qdv]

I failed. Bad planning.

what happened if I may ask?

 

[Polar_]

fear of failing

 

[Yorkshire91]

Tried, got found, got sectioned...I have this bit of hope inside me that I could regain what I've lost when in reality I know I can't. The hope keeps me going yet crushes me at the same time. Back into the same cycle as before until it breaks me again and I snap.

 

[angie]

I know I'll be jumping and I know it will be Beachy Head. But mood swings make me almost optimistic one minute and suicidal the next, hence why I haven't ctb yet. When I'm on a low I don't think about my family I only think of escape and peace. I know I'll do it sometime though and probably in the next year.

I have the method and want to use it but can't get the guts to do it . i'm terrified it goes wrong .
I wish there was a harold shipman around now i'd give him a back gander to bump me off . He could have made a fortune outta loads people on here who want to be dead . he didn't need to be caught killing old folks .

 

[SourIntent]

Nothing comes after death, and I know that because that is what happens to every single organism that exists in our universe. Life is nothing but the result of physics acting upon itself-- It's purely accidental.

I often think if matter cannot be destroyed, at one point in infinity it could be possible for all of "our matter" to be recollected/reassembled and we could be us again.

 

[Mikemikemike]

I'm at a party today and I am nothing of my former self. Just stood there watching the world go by knowing I no longer belong here.

 

[Topsy]

I've wanted to on and off for years, and I know that going back to school or work full time will likely be too much for me and really, what point in there in delaying the inevitable? I guess I'm enjoying this limbo - having more time to myself than not, and when things do get bad I have so few responsibilities that I can ride it out on my own for the most part.

Though as leaving part time school and going to work or school full time starts to near I would like to have a fool proof plan prepared and now that I have some money hopefully I'll be able to afford to do it.

But, the thought of leaving my cat behind terrifies me. She's so dependent on but if I gave her away it'd seal my fate and I couldn't bear to see her leave, not to mention my dad would know straight away something was seriously wrong and wouldn't leave me alone. But the idea of just leaving her there, the risk of her seeing everything. I wish I had never gotten a cat, otherwise I would've done this all years ago.

 

[SourIntent]

Want to make my death look like an accident. Don't know how tho.

I was thinking the same thing. If I could have somehow got the night-night method to work I was going to casually complain my neck was bothering me for a couple of days. Then I would put a couple of the bags in the freezer as if I was just trying to attach the bags to my neck overnight for relief and accidentaly strangled myself. Unfortunately, I can't get myself to pass out so I was forced to try another method.

Now I'm thinking of something to complain about for chronic pain and use the excuse of not having health insurance to be able to afford a doctor visit or medication. That could justify me buying fentanyl/heroin or something similar for the pain. Hopefully they will think I accidently overdosed trying to self-medicate.

 

[Qdv]

I'm at a party today and I am nothing of my former self. Just stood there watching the world go by knowing I no longer belong here.

This is how I feel everyday

 

[Throwaway9787]

parents are watching me

 

[jesse]

I am concerned that it will utterly destroy the lives of those that care about me. It's a very real fear as my best friend is a beautiful person but fragile. I also fear the permanence of the choice. I have a persistent, subtle intuition that I am just barely missing something important. I have been searching for that something that would make life meaningful (and thus my suicide tragically unnecessary) relentlessly and with no success. I am becoming weary. I do not know how much longer I can keep holding on for the sake of others and the slim chance of an epiphany. I've held on for so long now, and I'm just so very tired...