Why haven’t you ctb yet?

[sserafim]

Why haven't you ctb yet? For me it's a combination of not having a clear or viable plan, and also the risk of failure. I don't want to end up paralyzed or as a vegetable

 

[inconsequential_]

I failed.

Attempting again relatively soon, if all goes accordingly.

 

[Ashe]

I've failed twice. I probably won't attempt for some time after I get a better plan to overcome my SI and when I accomplish somethings I want to get out of the way.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I don't really want to die, tbh. I just don't want to be sick and in pain anymore.

 

[rainseahorse]

i'm also afraid of failure, but i'm trying to just stand living for 1-2 years and see how it goes

 

[dmdmdm]

I'm still trying to figure out a good way. Also, preparation is quite annoying. I still have hope that things might get better so that's a factor too. I still hope I'm gonna find that one person.

 

[SVEN]

I have commitments.

 

[avaruus]

I'm scared, also even tho its really unlikely that i'll turn my life around and live a happy fulfilling life, i just can't keep thinking... what if after all everything works out?
But a day after day, a week after week, a year after year my determination increases and my hope loses its potency

 

[リンさん]

Still got stuff to do and things to experience. I'm planning on CTB somewhere around my late 30ies to early 40ies.

 

[FuneralCry]

Inaccessability of suicide methods and also fear of a ctb attempt failing. Suicide really just isn't straightforward at all unfortunately, in fact to me it's the exact opposite. It's cruel how we cannot just easily choose to fall asleep eternally.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I need a viable plan and a suitable time. It's like finishing a project and involves waiting as one of the steps.

 

[cscott]

Waiting for my last product .. then I will DIE!!!!

 

[FailureToAll]

Mostly the fear of failure and just knowing that it will hurt my family.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Why haven't you ctb yet? For me it's a combination of not having a clear or viable plan, and also the risk of failure. I don't want to end up paralyzed or as a vegetable

same .not having a clear or viable plan and fear of failure. don't want to end up with brain damage then even harder or impossible to suicide.

 

[sserafim]

same .not having a clear or viable plan and fear of failure. don't want to end up with brain damage then even harder or impossible to suicide.

Same! If I fail an attempt it would've been better to have never even tried at all. I hate the uncertainty of it all. I wish I would know beforehand whether I would succeed or not. There's just too much risk involved

Still got stuff to do and things to experience. I'm planning on CTB somewhere around my late 30ies to early 40ies.

Yeah, I wish I could've done more stuff and experienced more things as well, but it's like I'm being driven to ctb before 25. I think I was destined to die young, I never even saw a future for myself as an adult anyways.

I didn't want to live past 18 and didn't do anything about it, now I'll make sure to ctb before my exit point of 25. Maybe even at 23 now, since recently things have gotten a lot worse. I feel like my life will only get worse and worse from here. I don't see a future for myself either.

If I take no action then life will just pass me by and I'll inevitably keep on living unless I do something about it

 

[trove1080p]

Why haven't you ctb yet? For me it's a combination of not having a clear or viable plan, and also the risk of failure. I don't want to end up paralyzed or as a vegetable

Survival Instinct keeps interfering

 

[Avisagia]

I have all the sources i need but want to do it with someone i got to know here. So im waiting for her. Although im still not sure ill have the courage to do it when time will come.
Another issue is that i have access to two different methonds (firearm and drug) but they are not in the same country haha. if i could combine it ill feel more confident that ill succeed!

 

[nicotine_goblin]

I've failed two attempts recently (cutting and partial). I have a relatively clear plan for full suspension but for now I'm trying to see if I can possibly get better. I want to put more effort into recovery before I go because hurting my parents is the last thing I want to do

 

[sserafim]

I'm scared, also even tho its really unlikely that i'll turn my life around and live a happy fulfilling life, i just can't keep thinking... what if after all everything works out?
But a day after day, a week after week, a year after year my determination increases and my hope loses its potency

Yeah same, I'm pretty sure it's unlikely that I'll live a meaningful or fulfilling life either. Things keep on getting worse, and I think the best times of my life are over. I just don't see a future for myself as an adult, I never even thought that I would reach adulthood. I want to ctb right now before things get even worse

 

[UKscotty]

Pure cowardice and inability to overcome SI.

I'm so lucky to live in a country where ironically the government would prefer us dead than spend money on help. We have access to plenty of peaceful reliable methods so it's not that either.

It's not fear of failure as I could easily combine two methods. I just can never overcome those final few seconds of SI.

 

[girlsboysthems]

fear of failure and the substances for my method havent arrived yet ):

 

[SSamGarrison]

I just can't get over the SI. Not to mention possibility of failure. I am not even sure about the decision yet, but I guess I know it's the only real solution.

 

[roguetrader]

There is just one reason - fear of failure.

 

[アホペンギン]

Quite a few reasons, actually.

I have all the means of ctb at the moment, very tall buildings and alcohol, something that could act as a rope without rising suspicions if found but the things keeping me from doing anything are that those materials that I have do not provide the smooth transition that I'd want, fear of failure, and I found a reason to stay alive for a bit longer. A friend who I care about.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I'm conflicted. There's somethings I enjoy in life but they're rather lonely and it's becoming harder and harder to distract myself from self-loathing. My life has no prosperous or happy future in sight outside of being a drug taking hermit. I've spent the last 5 years trying to get my life together to only realize it's not worth the effort and I can't achieve what I want. I want to CBT I just don't want my family or peers to embellish it. I wish society would respect that not everyone is happy with their lives and didn't continue to living wishing them. I will never be the man I want to be, I will never fit in, I don't like people or the suffering in this word, what's the point? I already have my method I'm just waiting to be able to buy said resources. I would love to be disembodied so I could enjoy the things I do without my physical form, sounds strange but it's true. I have always felt like an observer not a liver and it has always been this way for me.

 

[Cryptonite]

I feel like many people tend to lie to themselves. The only reason that holds a majority of us back is the damn survival instinct. If we had a magic pill that would cancel our SI for just an hour, this forum would become empty. And at least a billion people around the Earth would follow us too.

 

[Zegers]

Some things to tie up basically and i'll be ready to go. However, ctb is easier said than done, you need to plan carefully, lessen SI, it takes time.

 

[shotgun]

my cats.i love them so fucking much, i just feel like if i left while they're still alive something bad will happen to them.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I feel like many people tend to lie to themselves. The only reason that holds a majority of us back is the damn survival instinct. If we had a magic pill that would cancel our SI for just an hour, this forum would become empty. And at least a billion people around the Earth would follow us too.

You said it. I have a plan, a place and the means to do it. I keep chickening out, damn SI.