Because I have no interest in suffering in this torturous, futile existence just to die in agony from old age, for me personally the peace of non-existence truly is all that's desirable, I see existence as the most cruel, harmful abomination that just causes problems there was never a need for and suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I find it such a terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all and I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all. I see existence as something that just causes harm, it just feels like a mistake to me and I suffer so much from being enslaved in this existence, I never would have chosen or wished for any of this, I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible, to me human existence is a burden and only non-existence can solve what I ultimately see as the true problem which is existence itself, non-existence is all I hope for, it'd solve everything for me.