Why do people self harm

[notthatguy]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

 

[saddestbunny]

To feel real

 

[yoshii]

The physical pain can sometimes be an escape from the emotional pain.

 

[SweetSacrifice]

For me it's a mixture of anger, frustration and punishment.

Anger and frustration when I can't say or do what I really feel.

Punishment for when I lose control and end up hurting someone emotionally by my words or actions.

 

[sleepyturtle]

it feels really good, just makes my brain release happy chemicals and brings me away from how im feeling mentally. it may be gross to most but i like seeing blood as well

 

[jellyfish]

I do it when my emotions get out of control, the pain makes me cry really hard and then I can cool down a lot quicker.
This might sound dumb, but I like to use a leather belt on my thighs because it makes it sting a lot, but no damage or evidence afterward. Sadly it's EXTREMELY loud, so that makes it impossible to do secretly if I'm not alone

 

[cristaleyez]

Lots of reasons. Sometimes I want the attention. After all, what's more attention-grabbing than a wound? Sometimes I feel like I deserve the pain, like a punishment. Sometimes it's a way to relieve myself in a way that is different from crying. Which I have trouble doing sometimes. (Maybe because I'm not very hydrated.)

At the end of the day, self harm is classified as a coping method. Not a healthy one by any means. So is smoking, other drugs, risky sex, etc. When your healthy coping methods don't work or you don't have any at all, then there's self harm..and other bad coping methods.

 

[hellispink]

Self harm releases a a neurotransmitter in the brain. This thing is called dopamine. It makes you feel relax and makes you ignore emotional or physical pain. People who self harm do it to stop horrible emotions from torturing them more. Yeah.

 

[home]

there's many reasons why people sh. Just like there's many ways people can sh. It can be a form of self-punishment, a way to "get what one deserves". It can be a distraction from other stressors in life, like thoughts, school, work, other people. It can be a visualization, a way to translate emotional and mental pain in a way that makes most sense, physically. It can be a wakeup call, especially to those who feel numb or experience dissociative disorders. It can be practice, some people —especially on here— sh to help get rid of their sense of danger. And most misunderstood of all, it can be a cry for help. People that don't understand suicidality and sh say that they do it for attention. Is that such a bad thing? This person is asking for help in such an extreme way because whatever is causing them to sh is just that awful to them.

so yeah, in short people sh for many reasons and sh can come in just as many forms. Even lesser recognized ones like poor spending habits, drinking, gambling, denial of enjoyment, isolation, and staying in abusive relationships.

 

[listless]

a lot of reasons, i think the main one is that its like a rush like taking a hit off a drug. usually when i do it im not really thinking about it, its like i go into this blank state of mind and just do it without thinking. i think it also grounds me and snaps me back from that state. also for me like a lot of others have said it makes my pain inside feel more real or valid to be visible on the outside, its like proof to myself and others that i really am struggling, and in a sense make it not "just in my head".. hard to say its all in your head when it very visibly is not... ive never cut very deep, just superficial cuts enough to make myself bleed a little, make it sting, and leave faint scars. i also have a bad problem of self harming mentally a lot, i watch a lot of disturbing and upsetting things on purpose which sometimes makes me spiral into a bad place. i cant really explain why i do that. a mix of being comfortable suffering/being sad, morbid curiosity, and ironically enough trying to distract myself from my own pain, despite it often causing me more pain or thinking of stuff relating to my own life and traumas.

 

[SmallestBigDeal]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

I personally self-harm to take my mind off of really bad thoughts like regret, anxiety, and any other unbearable emotion. All that matters to me is the pain, so I typically will cut, but I will sometimes bang my head on things to substitute for it.

 

[ThatFlyGuy]

I've always used self harm to help myself get through the day, the pain helps wake me up and distracts me from all the other shit in my life, it clears up the brain fog I deal with everyday, I can think clearly and am more happy than ever. Though I'm only happy for a day or two until I remember I need to cut again, the cycle can be hard to break.

 

[CentreMid]

For me, I started when I was 14 because all of my friends were doing it because we all thought we were edgy and cool. Eventually, it became an addiction and a way of coping with my issues. My friends stopped, but I didn't, and I've been at it on and off ever since. I mostly do it now as self-punishment.

 

[lionetta12]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

It's a hard question to answer. Sometimes people feel that they are in control of something when they self harm because they control their pain by taking charge of it and so on. Some people might not even realise that they self harm, starving yourself or picking your skin for example are smaller less drastic ways of self harm that you might think too much of compared to picking up a knife or a razor and cutting yourself. I think a lot of people self harm without being fully aware of or thinking of it. It can also be a natural reaction to stress or a habit you just form.

 

[sorrowed_ender]

I do it as a way of punishing myself for thr misdeeds I've done. I do it to punish myself when I am splitting on others, especially splitting on my partner. I do it as a way to drill the fact that I am a deeply useless person into my beain and I deserve no such comfort. Unfortunately, I am no 20 years old, and have been sh-ing sincd I was 12. Its a nasty ass addiction I do not wish ANYONE to develop. the reason why people get addicted are due to the way the brain produces endorphins and other happy chemicals, making your brain associate that pain to "good feelings" of release. It used to be that way for me, but now I do it as punishment instead.

 

[Bocket]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

No need to apologize lol. I know that people tend to do it for different reasons, but my own personal habit started out of something kind of unusual. I used to do a lot of construction work when I was younger to help with family and friends, and lets just say I once had an accident that ended with me almost breaking my spine, but instead only heavily damaging my back muscles and ripped a lot of the skin off. While my back ended up feeling like shit for two months, I'd rarely feel the pain. I noticed that whenever I was able to find a comfortable position that relieved me of the pain from the bruising, the only pain I would feel was the light burning feel from the cuts. For some reason, that after-burn feel was somewhat relaxing/comforting to me. And while I didn't think too much about it at the time, about 6 months later after the accident, I ended up, honestly, out of boredom, cutting my leg with a boxcutter. By this time, I had completely recovered from the incident. However, when I cut myself for some reason, there was a kind of humor behind it. And after the cut clotting up, all I felt was that same pleasing burning sensation.

Before you ask, no, I wouldn't call it sexually pleasing, but more like the kind of pleasure you get from a good massage or after a workout. I know some people do it out of a kink thing, but it never got to that point for me. For a while after that, I'd begin cutting myself for a few months almost every day as if it was a personal reward for something. I'd almost always do it when I was in a good mood. But I'd make sure to do it in areas that no one would ever see. Like my inner bicep, inner calve, or thighs. Eventually, when the scar tissues started showing up more and more, I became a little unsettled by how far my habit had gone and tried quitting. But surprisingly, I realized that it wasn't too easy. As silly as it may sound to people who haven't experienced SH issues, the best I can describe it was that I had become addicted to it.

Eventually, the reason for SH would change for me. During times in which I was angry at myself for something like failing a test, not getting something done on time, or just remembering past mistakes that I hadn't forgiven myself for, I'd end up doing SH out of a sort of self-punishment. And eventually, it would get a bit worse with me feeling constantly guilty for things outside of my own control.

Did I hurt someone's feelings without realizing it 8 years ago who made it clear they just wanted to be my friend? That's 12 slices on the back of my thighs so that every time I sit down, I'll get a feeling for how much I hurt them. Remember that girl who made it obvious they had a crush on you, but you just brushed them off and ignored them because you didn't want to deal with them? Time for another 20 slices on the bottom of your feet, so you get to experience a bit of how much it pained them to walk to school only to see you.

It has gotten better currently. I haven't had any relapses in over 3 months, and before that, it was almost 8 months. It's a difficult thing to break out of, and after reading other people's experiences with it, It's honestly made me feel pretty lucky since, while my own cravings for SH tend to get in the way of things, for some people, it's a lot worse. One of the main tools I'd use to get out of it was a simple metal cilice. While it would hurt like a bitch it wouldn't cut into the skin or leave any real damage. I don't really use it that much anymore, but it's certainly a better way of treating SH cravings than just a blade.

Sorry if this was a long read. I meant to keep it short but ended up getting a bit carried away with the details.

 

[gum]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

Honestly, I couldn't tell u. It's almost reactionary, instinctual.

 

[Bocket]

I do it as a way of punishing myself for thr misdeeds I've done. I do it to punish myself when I am splitting on others, especially splitting on my partner. I do it as a way to drill the fact that I am a deeply useless person into my beain and I deserve no such comfort. Unfortunately, I am no 20 years old, and have been sh-ing sincd I was 12. Its a nasty ass addiction I do not wish ANYONE to develop. the reason why people get addicted are due to the way the brain produces endorphins and other happy chemicals, making your brain associate that pain to "good feelings" of release. It used to be that way for me, but now I do it as punishment instead.

Your experience is pretty similar to my own though it seems yours may be more intense. I don't mean to be pushy by saying this and you've most likely already searched for alternatives or ways of reducing it. But one of the ways I was able to reduce the cravings was using a cilice. It's just a simple thing you can wear on your thigh, ankle, arm, or anywhere really. It hurts like a mf, but doesn't leave any scars. The worst it can do is leave some bruising if you put it on too tight.

 

[Abadoned_Me]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

I have nothing else to do
and a lot of people will disagree with me but its fun, and its not like someones gonna stop me from doing it im a hikikomori
(like the one hikikomori who goes outside but im forced to)
but its fun, its also free
maybe im just messed up, and ik this isnt the kinda response you where looking for but, im just being honest

 

[TheTranstarEngineer]

To be totally honest I've self harmed quite a bit and I'm not entirely sure why myself.

 

[DumbOnlineGirl]

Mine started off as a self punishment kind of thing, then evolved into a stress reliever, then became a full on addiction. It's really easy to snowball.

 

[Next-to-Nil]

I self harm to "look clumsy" so people don't question the injuries from my actual CTB attempts.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

I do it to punish myself for what I am and what I've become.

 

[Maeve]

I do it to get a moment of silence in my brain where it is not screaming at me.

 

[Alltheywanted]

When i still used to do such things, I just liked the feeling of cutting my skin. It gave me some kind of satisfaction.

 

[FindingHome]

I have only done it when I am extremly suicidal and don't have anything to kill myself with.

 

[stilldreaming]

When I self-harmed, it was to interrupt some cycles of extreme emotional pain I was going through. Not sure if you've ever felt really incredibly sad, eg grieving, and it just feel like too much pain, but eventually you cry yourself out and feel numb, and you're grateful to at least feel numb to stop the pain for a bit.

Cutting would help me get there faster, and the physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain beautifully. It was like a knife through the unbearable pain, if you get my meaning. It was such a relief too, because the emotional pain was just so unbearable. I didn't want to cut myself, I just wanted to interrupt the distress.

Now I'm on anti-depressants that help numb emotionally, so I don't think I could get to those levels of extreme distress currently. I am unfortunately a highly sensitive person, so anything that numbs my emotions a bit is just wonderful. It's like wearing an emotional suit of armor. Still depressed from the struggle of daily life, but it used to be worse I suppose.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

I'm sorry if the question is insensitive and it's my first time posting.

Make them forget about their problems. Could also be showing a sign for a cry for help. Ease away their pain.

 

[revolutionnaire23]

It's a coping mechanism and personifying the pain people inflict on me mentally. Like a self-punishment thing, you know?

 

[ginsengdrowning]

for me it's self-punishment, and usually in visible areas so as to visually broadcast that i'm not worthy and i deserve pain - however this isn't overly common, at least amongst the self garners i've met. the most common answers i hear are to feel something through the fog, and as a coping mechanism via distraction or catharsis

 

[pole]

I engage in self-harm but not physically.

I learned to love feeling emotional pain. earlier on, it hurt too much and was at times unbearable so I would cut to escape it. however, over time I learned to embrace it and use it to my advantage. It's gotten to a point where I chase that feeling of being heartbroken, made to feel disgusting, horrible, and awful.

the feeling that someone has stabbed you in the heart, where you feel heavy and everything hurts on the inside. you can't speak, your heart aches, and you feel nauseous.

self-defeating behaviours help put me back in my place and remind me of how pathetic and worthless I am. I get zero sexual satisfaction from this though in comparison to others. instead, I love how it kills hope and optimism and helps fuel self-hatred and punishes me more than cutting ever has. the pain and hurt you feel emotionally lasts longer and hits much harder than physical self-harming.

It's definitely broken me down bit by bit slowly over time. toxic, but I can't get enough of it. It helps validate how I feel about myself.